Chapter 3

“So what do you wanna do now?” Connor asked me as we were walking back to his place. For a while, I had been thinking that. What exactly am I going to do? I just can’t really stay in Connor’s apartment until I remember everything. I need to get out. Also, I bet that Connor will have to spend a lot of money. So I said “I wanna get a job!”

            “Are you serious? You don’t even know your last name so how do you think you can get a job?” Connor questioned me.

            “It’s the city! I know that I can do it,” I said as I stepped in front of him. My face became as stern and stubborn as a yak. Just waiting, no, demanding for an accepted answer, otherwise I was ready to attack.

            “Fine, fine. Whatever you say but I want to make sure that you are safe so I will be helping you, alright? So what kind of job do you wanna work as?”

            “I wanna sing.”

            “Ha. That’s funny! No seriously; what job do you want to have?” Connor said as he scoffed at me. He obviously didn’t have any hope for me but I beloved that I could change that.

            I rushed out into the streets, took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and sang off the top on my head.

            Today, I’m gonna find you to…

            Today, I’m gonna need you to…

            Today, today, today, today

            Is it; the day that we are gonna live.

I knew in my heart that if I was given the chance, I could sing unlike anyone else. I remember that there was always so much music around me in my past life; before I has amnesia. But where? Where I’m I from? I continued singing and continued to feel a presence all around me. So warm. I then opened my eyes and saw so many people looking at me and was clapping for me. I turned around and saw Connor there, looking down on me.

            “Maybe you are right he said. Maybe you should sing.”

            “Thanks, I… I really do appreciate it Connor,” I said. I then heard my loud stomach cry out to me. I didn’t eat yesterday and I don’t know when the was the last time I ate in the first place!

            “So do you wanna get something to eat?” Connor said as he kindly smiled at me.

            “Yeah, that does sound like a good idea.” He then took me in his car and drove us to a Mexican Restaurant. The food was good, but something about eating didn’t seem right. So after I took my first bite, I stopped and pushed the plate away from me.

            “What wrong, Deshi? Don’t you like tacos?”

            “I don’t know. But that’s not it. It’s just that, I don’t know where I come from or even who am I.”

            “But that’s okay because you have amnesia. You’ll figure it out sooner or later.”

            I then put my heads on the table and shouted, “But that’s not the point, Connor! How can I eat at a time like this? If you don’t know who you are, then how could you stop and rest? I am just constantly thinking about it and there is just no way to stop it.” The restaurant then became dead silent.

            “I’m sorry,” and after I said that, I just ran out side as fast as I could out of the building, as if I was being chased by a mob but instead of people, it was stares. When I got outside, I tried to relax myself. I tried breathing to get my heart rate down because it was beating so fast.

            Eventually, Connor came out of the restaurant. I just had a feeling that he was mad at me so before he could do anything, I opened my mouth. But before I could say anything, he put my head and his chest and once again, embraced me. Why is he doing this? Just…just why? I then felt something. Was it music? No, it’s like music but better. Tempo? Beat? No, it was heart beat. That’s it; I could feel his heart beating.

            “I’m sorry, Deshi. I should try to understand you better. So if I try to understand you better, can you try to understand me and why I need to take care of you?” He said while holding me tight.

            “Mhm” I whispered. I then noticed how warm he was, not from his body heart but from his heart. Little by little, his heart rate began to increase. I loved the sound of it so much. I wished that something like that was music co I could sing to it. So with him, everything seemed to be okay.

            “Um, Deshi?”

            “Oh, um yeah?” I said as I pulled away from him.

            “What do you want to do now?”

            “Can we go back to that Cathedral? It was so pretty and I just would like to be in there for a while,” I said as I was looking over. I mean, yesterday, he did say that I could be there tomorrow.

            “Sure, why not?” He said with a happy voice which I couldn’t tell was something fake or real.

 

            There is something about the church that I went to that in which I simply cannot explain. That’s why for some reason when I go there, I knew what to do. I began praying. I didn’t know who I was praying to but I knew that when I folded my hands together and kneeled, that my questions, the ones about who I am or was, would be answered. That somehow, not only was that music is part of my distant but also the church or praying or something like that. Something was telling me that I must be on the right path. But I am restricted for I can’t go any faster on the path. So I must be patient.

            “What are you praying for, Deshi?” Connor said while putting his face about an inch to mine. I began staring into his dark brown eyes again but this time, they were not narrow but huge. They looked so innocent and precious.

            “Oh, I’m not sure. But I thought that praying might help me remember something of myself,” I said as I turned the other direction. I had to. My heart began to jump. “Well, anyways, I think that I need some fresh air so do you mine?”

            “No, I don’t. Go right ahead.”

            As I was walking to the exit, my heart was continuously beating so fast and loudly. When I got outside, the sun had already set so it was cold again. The wind went through my long hair and it began to dance. I figured that I would start singing again, so my hair had some music to dance to. I just started singing as the people in front of me were walking by. I noticed that some of them stopped right in front of me. I didn’t notice this until now but I realized that this was the same thing that happened yesterday.

 

            I wanna go out and feel the blood pump through my veins

            Spread my wings and fly to a place where I belong

            My darling, my love, promise it all won’t be in  vain

            Just make it all right and sing me a song

            My lips feel so tender; Kiss it and make better

            My darling, my love, hold my so tight

            Until the day when there is light

I began to remember more lyrics to this unknown song. The song with no name.

            After I finished singing, everyone began clapping. A man in a suit came to me asked “What’s your name?”

            “My…my name is Deshi,” I responded nervously.

            He pulled out a notebook and then said, “Deshi…is that Chinese? Well, besides that, what about your last name?”

            “Umm…I don’t know my last name.”

            “How old are you?”

            “I don’t know.”

            “Hey Deshi!” I heard Connor from behind me. “What’s going on?” he asked when he came next to me.

            “Do you know this girl?” the man in the suit said/

            “Her? Yeah, of course! I’m taking care of her.”

            “Why is that?” the man said suspiciously.

            “Well, I found her yesterday so I took her to the hospital and found out found out that she has amnesia,” Connor spoke out. Everyone around us then began scattering and resuming their original route.

            “Well, I have some news for you!” The man exclaimed. He then continued saying, “I’m the manager of a night club with liver performers performing every night and I am looking for some new talent.” It turns out that he is named Robin Nightly and the manager of a club called Robot Note in Downtown Los Angeles. He wants me to perform at this club nightly. All I would have to do is sing a few songs with the band and I would get paid a decent amount of money. When he was about to leave, he left his business card, asked me to consider this opportunity and call him back as soon as possible with my decision.

            “So Connor; what do you think about that? Do you think I could get a job there?” I said as excited as a girl in a candy store.

            “I don’t know, Deshi. This guy seems kinda sneaky.”

            “Sneaky? What do you mean?”

            “C’mon! Don’t you think that it is a little suspicious that he wants to take an innocent girl and have him work for her?”

            “Oh, I didn’t think of it like that. I’m sorry,” I said with a disappointed look on my face. But I wasn’t disappointed in him. I was in myself. How could I be such an idiot. I have got to be much smarter about these things. I then looked down and began to think more about how dumb I could be. As I was, I noticed that Connor began looking at me and said,

            “Look, Deshi; it’s not that you are ignorant or anything. It’s just that you’re as innocent and as kind as an angel. I wouldn’t want anyone to take advantage of you because you are so sweet.”

I then lifted my chin and began to look at him.

            “Thanks, Connor! I really do appreciate it!” I then began to laugh and then he started to laugh as well.

            “Deshi; is this something that you really want to do?

            “Yes! This is something I really want to do! I don’t want to be a burden on you anymore.”

            “But that’s okay Deshi! But if you will have fun doing this, then I suppose it would be okay for us to check it out together. What do you say?”

            “Oh, yes! Thank you so much,Connor! I would love that!” I exclaimed. I couldn’t thank him enough for allowing me to do this. I was so excited, I then asked him “So should we call him tomorrow?” as we were walking off to his place.

            “Yeah; I guess that would be a good idea. We will call him first thing in the morning, okay?”

            “Woo-hoo!” I screamed in excitement.

As we were walking back, I began thinking about all the things that I know about Connor when it hit me: I know nothing else about him besides his first name and where he lives. And for a fact, I’ve even slept in his bed. So I decided that I should ask him more about him.