A memory

Thanks for reading. :)

A pair of blue eyes,
Brighter than the skies,
Stare in my cries,
As my soul dies.

A pair of ears,
Listen to my prayers,
Hear it drop, a tear.
As my hope turns into fear.

A face,
Worth more than the ace,
Takes up all space,
In my mind,
His blonde hair makes me blind.
His words, ever so kind.

His arms,
Warm hugs.

His lips,
Sweet kiss.

Author's Note

Any thoughts?? i'm curious.

Reviews

[Tomoe Tellez]

As always your poems are very lovely. I like your style, it's different, it's yours. And I understand you, everyone has their own way of expressing themselves through their writing. Reviews serve as a way of helping you as writer see the mistakes you don't see yourself, not to correct your style. I think all writers know this, we don't like to be told to change our writing style. That's another thing I like about your poems, they reflect how wonderful your mind is. Great poem! Don't change and keep writing in your own way! :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

thank you very much :-)

[:o]

His blonde hair makes me blind is a silly statement in order to achieve a rhyme. Good poem

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Yes, it is. So what? it rhymes, doesn't it? anyway, thank you very much :)

[:o]

Look up forced rhymes and you'll see what I mean. You're welcome.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

It aint really that important. What i wanted to say, is there, the rest don't matter.

[Max]

Exactly! We all got the point of the poem, and that is all that matters. :)

[:o]

I think anything a poet writes matters. If not, we might as well say good poem to everyone and move on without caring about the time the author put into his work. You made an effort, I reviewed. If the rest don't matter, should we as readers not take anything you write seriously. Is that what you want?

[:o]

Do you not say in your bio, read my poems carefully? I did. Keep writing. :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Look...whenever i wanted to please the readers they s**t on my head...when i wanted to actually improve my writing, i asked for advice... no reviews, no advice. So i don't really care anymore. That's all. Again, thanks.

[:o]

Yes, I don't doubt that at all. I know how you feel. Read as much poetry as you can. Look up the elements of poetry...metaphor, simile and the like. I wish you luck.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Now...why would i do that? so what if the readers are not pleased?... I'm sorry, maybe they could have told me what they expect, so i know... But no one did. So, I'll keep writin the way i do, and if someone has a problem with that, then they should either stop reading, or tell me what's wrong.

[Max]

Sounds cold, but it is rightful.

[AaronFreitas]

Nice... I like the descriptions and the rhyme scheme. Nothing feels better than hugs from someone you love :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Thank you my friend :) and yeah, you're right. :)

[AaronFreitas]

I'll take a hug from anyone right now haha

[Max]

"A pair of blue eyes,
Brighter than the skies,
Stare in my cries,
As my soul dies."

That is the part where a simple look in the eyes is enough to end the misery.

The poem speaks for itself, I think this is probably the sweetest short poem I ever read.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Thank you :)

[Max]

No problem my friend. :)

[Shah Sabia]

I like it.
Best part being the simplicity :)

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Thank you :)

[Shah Sabia]

You're always welcome :)

[closed]

longing forged into literary dreams that will soon give birth to reality
something i know you'll cherish well



-Dream

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Thank you :)

[Joshua Carl Cruz]

This is the first poem I've read by you that indicates you are a girl. I've been running on the notion you weren't. Kinda want to laugh at my ignorance . Hey, i like where this one is and I dont want to touch at it, unless you give me permission and I'll message you any changes if you do. This is something good. Makes me think of passing relationships. Cool cool cool

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Hey, be as harsh as you wanna be. I'm always opened for opinions, and suggestions. :) and no, i am no girl. Lol.

[Joshua Carl Cruz]

Ha! I didnt want to be rude and say something idiotic but I love it with the pronoun him, and if thats the case of what it is, I salute you! Now god help me if I insulted you.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Hahaha. It aint easy to insult me. Lol. Thanks. :)

[Jyoti_Ablaze]

Kudos!!
You really got the feeling so damn right! Very relatable.
I fell for your piece by the end of first stanza..
Absolutely loved the imagery!

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Thank you so much :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Very nice use of the description. Men who can make you blind. Can be tempting and dangerous. I enjoyed the short poetry. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Dani The Unreviewed]

I wrote his, not her. But thank you :)

[Coyote Poetry]

I fixed my error.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Okay. :) thanks.