Grown Up

yes, i know its really short. and i intend to add more, im just exsausted. but i needed to put it up.

    TEN YEARS LATER

“SUMMER! CLINT IS HERE!” Rosita yelled up the stairs before continuing to clean the front hall, paying no attention to the boy who practically lived at the house for the past ten years. Summer came sliding down the banister. “Why thank You My Dearest Nanny” summer exclaimed grabbing Rosita’s hand and placing a peck on it. Before turning to Clint, “Hey there Darling.” He just smiled at her, striking green eyes twinkling. “Ello My Dear” he said before slipping his arm trough hers and proceeding to skip down the hall with her.

Participating in their much practiced daily routine of finding something fun to do. They skipped to the kitchen. Summer opened the fridge and Clint opened the cupboard. Both scanned the contents although they knew exactly what was in their respective storage places and where to find it. Suddenly they both stood back before exclaiming, “Gotcha!” and pulling out various ingredients

 Clint had a large bag of marshmallows, peanut butter, bread, graham crackers, and chips. While summer had soda, ham, frozen waffles, mayonnaise and hot dogs. They both smiled at each other before laying out all their food onto the table and preparing their lunch.

Summer popped the frozen waffles into the toaster, and Clint began to make two peanut butter sandwiches, with ham and marshmallows. Summer busied herself spreading the mayonnaise on the grams crackers. She looked over at the toaster, before she started counting down. “AND IN T- 5-4-3-2-1!!!!! BLASTOFFF!, ladies and gentleman though I don’t see any here, we have waffles!”  Clint laughed, as he always did and went to the cupboard to get the plates, before deciding they didn’t really need any. Summer looked at him before deciding that his face was far to clean and smearing his face with the peanut butter she had been about to put away.

Clint looked shocked, but not for long. “THIS MEANS WAR!”  He yelled, reaching for the tub of mayonnaise and flinging a handful at summer.

She shrieked with laughter before hiding behind the island, “If you want war, you got war clinty.” She said before popping up and flinging a hot dog at his head followed by the waffle it had previously been wrapped in. hiding quickly behind the island again she began to plan her next attack. “What, No syrup?” Clint asked laughing.

As he hid behind the open door to the refrigerator. It was then that he saw them, EGGS! Grabbing the whole two dozen, he began to hurl them in summer’s general direction before he heard a loud screeching CLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINT!!!! “Bulls eye.” He thought before taking refuge behind the door again.

Just then there was a blood curtailing scream, “come on summer, it was only an egg.” Clint said peeking over the door before wishing that he hadn’t. It wasn’t summer who had screamed, it was her mother. In the past ten years Clint had met summers mother all of 3 times, and none of them had been pleasant encounters. “wha…wha…what are you two doing!” she demanded. “My kitchen, you have destroyed my kitchen!” Clint didn’t think there was anywhere that he could think of that wouldn’t be a better place to be right now.

“Summer, where are you?” she asked in a chilling imitation of being calm that proved that she was far from calm. Summer squeaked from behind the counter while she tried to find the courage to stand up and face her mother. Everything became eerily quiet, and the only sound that could be heard was the click of high heels across the tile floor. Her mother reached summer and looked at her with the most potent look of disgust summer thought she had ever seen in her life.

 

“Summer Jean Dunmore, upstairs now. I don’t want to see you any part of you for the rest of this day. You are grounded, indefinitely.

Reviews

[The Old Ashes]

And now we're in the setting, they're sixteen year olds. Except where before they seemed to be acting too mature for six year olds, now I feel they act to immature for sixteen year olds. They seem to be acting again, around age eight or nine which is what I would have guessed they were in the last chapter too if that makes sense. But maybe that's what makes their friendship fun, is their immaturity and funniness with it. This may or may not be what you are aiming for, it's just something I am noticing.
100/100
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[melissa]

Wow I agree with Jake and Emily I am really happy to see they are still friends so far I love this book your book is now of my favorite books I can't wait to.read the next chapter and see what happends next with those 2 I also would love to slap summer's mother to

[emily]

Ohhh I'm so happy to see they're still best friends after ten years, and they haven't changed a bit! I wasn't expecting the story to skip forward so fast. But now that it has, I'm glad it did. The food part was so much fun to read. Clint and Summer have a friendship that is still sparkling with the innocence of childhood, and that just really makes me smile. And I see Summer's mother hasn't changed either, so I'm anxious to see where that leads.

As far as critiques, there were a few places that I noticed.
"Participating in their much practiced daily routine of finding something fun to do. They skipped to the kitchen." this should all be one sentence, otherwise the first part is a fragment.
"blood curtailing" = "blood CURDLING"
"a chilling imitation of being calm that proved that she was far from calm" just felt awkwardly worded to me...

You've still got me hooked. I've been at camp for two weeks, so I'm excited to be back to reading. I'll be finishing this as soon as I can!

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[PrincessZeldaWannabe]

Something does seem to be up with Summer's mother, but I do love that Summer and Clint have been best friends for all these years!

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[.quan.011.]

I really, really want to slap Summer's mother. This is some powerful writing you have here. I don't know what more to say expect that i am going to read more. I want to know what happens to Clint and Summers.

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[Jake Donald Stephens]

Some interesting eating habits! But at 16, they should know better than to waste food like that.
Still, it's neat that they really did stay friends for life.
I look forward to reading more about their bond.

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[tynamite]

I find it weird how Summer seemingly wants to be friends with every nice person she meets. Anyone who does that isn't normal. You would think that they are best friends. Oh they are. So is everyone her best friend? Summer was 6. Now she's 16. She seems autistic, but has she got learning difficulties too?

[Daydreamer54]

curtailing-curdling.
Lol, a food fight with odd concotions. i don't think they would have eaten any of it, yet again, theyr'e six. :P
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[Julie Beth]

i think that is the oddest combo of food that i have ever heard of. That was an amazing food fight and i still don't like her mother for ruining all the fun and Clint can't die he's too cool awesome job :D

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[Coyote Poetry]

A very good chapter. Nice to have some fun with a friend. I like the description. A bad ending for messing up the kitchen. A entertaining chapter. Thank you for a excellent chapter.
Coyote