He looked into her eyes to find the realization

the end of At One: Realizations

Chapter Three: He looked into her eyes to find the realization

 

The empty space in Cellophane’s bed was the first thing he saw almost every morning. It made him wonder why he could never respect a girl he slept with. The last long term relationship he had been with a girl Sepia and the Diamond  both nick named ‘The B***h Bot’ and it was a train wreck. He still thought of her at times, still longed to see her golden hair and leaf green eyes.

The morning sun suddenly blasted against Cellophanes skin as Throttle opened his blinds and Sepia flicked his ear. Cellophane leapt out of the bed eyes wide open and heart pounding. The two siblings then laughed hysterically and left the room without an explanation. Cellophane grabbed his knives, his wallet and the envelope with money in it and headed downstairs.

                “You slept in your work clothes…” Diamond  said as Cellophane sat at the table and grabbed the bottle of pain medicine, he quickly swallowed one of the pills and leaned back in the chair responding with,

                “Well I figured the last time I did that and you two told me how gross it was I just did not get the message.” The sarcasm was weak and the Diamond  did not acknowledge it any further. Cellophane’s attention was now focused on Sawdust who was at his feet waiting for food of any sort to be dropped.

As he began to spread cream cheese on a bagel arms wrapped around him and a cellphone camera was in his face,

                “Personal space… personal space!” Cellophane exclaimed in panic,

                “Shut up, smile and take it like a man.” Throttle replied as the snap of the phones camera went off. Cellophane sat for a moment trying to find out what had just happened.

                “I am updating all of my contact pictures, yours is from back when you had long hair.” She replied showing him the new picture on her phone,

                “It looks like I am about to stab you in the eye with a butter knife…” He critiqued tending to his bagel.  She then proceeded to do the same thing to both Sepia and the Diamond  causing the Diamond  to spill her coffee, and Sepia to scream not knowing what was happening.  Cellophane finished his breakfast and walked into the living room where the Diamond  and Sepia where sitting. The high of the painkiller had taken effect and he was far more relaxed. Sepia noticed this and left the room.

                “You know she is not going to let up until you stop taking them.” The Diamond  stated watching the TV. Cellophane plopped down on the leather sofa and replied with,

                “Well, if I stop taking them I will be in severe agony. You know this.” The Diamond  raised her brow in curiosity.

                “What about the tramadol? I thought it was helping. Then you would not be risking your liver.” Cellophane let out a sigh and replied with,

                “My immune system builds up to it faster. By the time I got to a point where it would work again my liver would be in worse shape than it already is. Besides it is just swollen.”  The Diamond  saw right through his bullshit, Sepia and Throttle would too. The High given by the Codeine pills helped distract him from the real world. But the Diamond  did not press on the subject any further.

The envelope was halfway sticking out of Cellophane’s pocket, as she entered the room Throttle noticed and inquired,

                “Is that form Juicy’s dad?” Cellophane nodded in response half watching the TV. Throttle sat on the edge of the table and slowly pulled the envelope out of his pocket.  She seemed surprised by the amount of money in it, but pulled out a yellow sticky note Cellophane had not seen yet.

                “Is this from Juicy’s dad too?” She asked showing Cellophane the note,

‘Beast of Denton Bar, 9:45PM Sunday September 15,

                Good Money from a trusted friend.’

Cellophane placed the note back into the envelope and walked to the kitchen, he placed half of the money into a jar on the counter labeled ‘Rent Jar’ then placed the remainder of the money in his wallet.  Cellophane then remembered that Hector had brought up security work the day before.

                “So are you gonna go?” asked Throttle who had followed him into the kitchen. He nodded in reply and answered,

                “Yeah, Hector wouldn’t set me up. He likes the cheap labor.” Throttle had a concerning look on her face that Cellophane ignored and walked back into the living room. 

The Beast of Denton was a popular bar in the city square, though it was only popular because it was a known gang hideout and people would go there to feel like they were bad asses in some gang.  Even though in reality they would never last, they had hearts, they had morality. The North Texas Beasts on the other hand, did not.  Cellophane was nervous; he began wondering why a bar with a notorious gang residing in it would need outsider security.  But he figured the pay would be great and no longer focused on the fear, more so on the part of the rent he would owe in the coming weeks. That was the beauty of the Rent jar, as long as the money for the full rent got produced, it didn’t matter who, how or why.

 In a day Cellophane would hopefully have a good paying job guarding the bar. He walked up to his room and laid on his bed, before he could get lost in sleep or thought, Throttle walked in quietly and sat on his computer desk chair looking at him,

                “Yes?” he asked confused, she still had the same concerned look on her face as she did earlier. She scooted the chair over to his bedside, Let out a sigh and said,

                “You need to grow up Cell. You kill yourself with these pills, Sepia, Dime, Lith and I will all kick your a*s. Make you wish you had never been born… bro.” When she called him bro it sounded strange to him, normal if it was coming from Sepia or the Diamond , but he never saw Throttle as a little sister.

The statement would have seemed out of nowhere by anyone outside looking in, but Cellophane knew there was a good chance Sepia and the Diamond  had talked to or said something about the recent pill abuse.

Cellophane nodded not knowing what else she wanted him to say, he felt like he had cotton balls in his throat. He could not move an inch. Never before had she spoken to him so seriously. He was almost in shock. She then leaned over the bed and hugged him tightly, bringing him back to reality and unclogging the philosophical cotton balls from his throat allowing him to breath and speak once more.

                “sometimes I want to be dead…” he spoke so quickly and quietly he was not even sure Throttle had heard him as she walked to the door. She turned almost as soon as the words had finished coming out of his mouth and quickly walked to him grabbing him by the collar of his shirt and dragging him off of the bed. Her amber eyes where narrowed in disappointment and anger, Cellophane stared directly into them. She slapped him with all of her strength and dropped him back to the bed muttering one word,

                “Selfish.”

And then she left the room closing his door quietly. Cellophane wished she had slammed the door, at least then he would know she was just mad. But he knew that was not the case now. Disappointment was something Cellophane never dealt with well, and it was because that is what he saw himself as. A disappointment. He knew Sepia was disappointed in the way he misused his medication, and he always felt the Diamond  looking at him shaking her head when she would see him taking more than what was needed. He was OK with people being disappointed in his use of his medicine, but not this. He never wanted anyone to know about the way he felt when it came to his life. The fact that it was Throttle being disappointed in him for it made things so much worse. Because though he had never spoken of it, and knew it would never amount to anything more, he had always realized the feelings he had for her.

And when she gave him the disappointed glare, the angry stare that he looked right back into he came to realize what he always wanted to forget. The feelings for his best friends little sister. And the want to no longer be alive.

 

Author's Note

this is the end of Act One of three, Realizations. Cellophane faces some harsh truths and we get a set up for the events in Act Two: The Guns, The Glory, The Loss.