The Consequences of Breathing out loud

The Consequences of Breathing out loud

A Chapter by ShaneBerry

Act Three: Consequences


Act Three: Consequences

Chapter Seven: The Consequences of breathing out loud.


Part 1 Monster

Cellophane and Diamond  had both fallen asleep on the couch; Crash was half lying on the couch and half on the floor. He wouldn’t let them leave him there alone. He was terrified of himself and did not want to be alone with his thoughts. Diamond  woke first, she nudged Cell with her shoulder in an attempt to wake him up, but he was already awake and pretending to be asleep.

                “I couldn’t sleep…” he explained quietly not wanting to wake up Crash.  Diamond  sighed and put her arm around Cellophane’s shoulder. She searched her mind for something, anything to say that could help him, though nothing came to mind.

                “Why don’t you tell me what happened.” She knew Cellophane was prone to hide things from she and Sepia, The events of the previous night was not something she would allow him to carry alone.

                “I…” Cellophane’s eyes filled with the memory of the night before. Diamond  could feel his body shiver and hear his breathing become heavier and heavier to the point where Cellophane could barely contain his fear.

                “I killed two people last night…” as he spoke, Diamond  wished she had not heard it. She removed her arm from his shoulders and sat on the coffee table across from him now grasping the seriousness of the situation. Cellophane could not cry anymore, he looked at the floor hoping Diamond  would just walk away and he wouldn’t have to speak of it anymore.

                “Cell, tell me everything.” She demanded, though she was not thrilled, she knew that he had to speak to somebody and given to his own devices he would hide it away, never speak about it and drown in his depression.

Cellophane sat perfectly still in an attempt to control the shaking of his body and the nervousness in his voice. Diamond  did not move, she waited for over an hour of silence for Cellophane to respond. Crash was dead asleep; Cellophane had forgotten she was even there.

                “They walked in, four of them. We didn’t even get a chance to tell them we were closed…” as he revealed the detail he asked himself, ‘why the f**k would that even matter? …’ he then continued, Diamond  listened intently and attempted to show no sign of the fear that was attempting to overtake her face.

                “Mario immediately pushed Mendez over the counter… I just stood there… He was the first killed, I dropped my gun, then had his then I…I don’t know how it happened but Mendez and I took them all down…” Cellophane could tell he was making no sense, but his body began to panic as he tried to explain what had happened.

                “Cell, you can tell me. You know I won’t judge you.” She asked putting her hand on his cheek and making him looks at her. His eyes where dilated, Diamond  could tell he had taken many pain killers throughout the night. She could feel tears welling up in her eyes, but fought to hold them back.

                “I enjoyed it… Fighting them… Killing them… it felt good and I don’t know what that means…” as he said this, Diamond  grew a concerned look on her face and she could no longer hold the tears back as she realized she grew afraid of her friend.

                “What do you mean? Enjoyed it how?”  She asked, terrified that he had lost his mind.

He did not answer immediately, he was searching his mind for the most sensitive and non-creepy answer to her question.

                “All that power… the sense of pride. It is the same feeling in a fist fight, your stomach feels like it is no longer there, like you are weightless and nothing can stop you… but as soon as it was over I laughed… I laughed like it was some kind of joke. Then I was disgusted…”

Diamond  was at a loss for words. She had never heard anyone speak of something so horrible in such a light tone, but she could feel his remorse; and knew she had to pull him out of it before he was lost in his own guilt.

                “Cell, I don’t know how it feels to kill a person. I hunt, but I hunt deer and pig and other animals. But I do that for pleasure and it is accepted. You did this to survive; you said they came in shooting. It is not a crime that you lived through it, this is a good thing. What you are feeling is just… adrenaline or something in your body responding to the situation.” She knew she was very obviously making it up as she went along, but she didn’t know what to say.

Before Cellophane could respond, Crash awoke and said,

                “Hey… I’m hungry… make me some food!”

Diamond  laughed and tossed her pillow at Crash’s head. She then patted Cellophane on the shoulder and gave him a tight warm hug. She stood saying,

                “You are going to be ok Cell. I know it. You have gone through so much bullshit over these past few years; this is just more bullshit and nothing more.”  She then left the room.

Cellophane sat on the couch, still lost in his thoughts and thinking about the night before. Crash could see the distressed look on his face. She asked,

                “What happened? You and Lith end up f*****g each other like I thought?”

Cellophane threw the remote to the TV at her head and left the room.


Part 2 Rage

Sepia sat on the park bench looking at her phones messages. A message from Throttle read,

                ‘Are we still on for the mall today?

She did not reply, conflicting ideas danced around inside of her like separate flames. One thing she could do was keep Cellophane’s feelings for throttle a secret from her keeping her ignorant of things she ought to know. The other was to expose Cellophane’s feelings and throw him under the bus.

                “Hey Train, can you come to the park? I need someone to talk to about something. I think a lawyer could help me decide.” She asked calling Train, a family friend that the gang had gone to school with.

                “Sure, everything ok? You aren’t luring me out to one of Diamond ’s hunting trips are you? I don’t do the whole killing animals thing and I am convinced that was not a campsite we saw last time it was a clan meeting!!” he joked in response,

                “Oh please if it was they wouldn’t have killed you, you are the whitest black guy I know.” Sepia responded laughing, but she quickly stopped laughing and said,

                “Just please hurry.” 

A few moments passed and Train was there, he lived down the block from the park and Sepia’s parents’ house. Sepia laughed in her head as she noticed that he was dressed whiter than most white guys dressed. Train quickly noticed that Sepia was distressed despite her laughter at his apparel.

                “So what’s going on? Is this about some kind of legal trouble?” he asked sitting next to her on the bench, she shook her head and said,

                “No… it is a Cell question.”

He waited for more of an explanation, but Sepia found it hard for her to say out loud. She felt betrayed and lied to. Like Cellophane and Lithium had an ongoing private joke about how he felt about her little sister.

                “Take your time much?” Train said after twenty minutes of silence while Sepia searched her mind for a response. 

                “Cell is in love with Throttle… Lithium accidently told me… and I have no idea how to react to it…” Sepia said it and leaned back stretching to attempt to relieve stress. Train snickered and laughed a bit saying,

                “I knew he wouldn’t be able to keep that s**t a secret forever.” 

As quickly as he said it, Sepia raised her head and glared at him saying,

                “You knew?!”

He nodded and put his hand on her shoulder.

                “Even if he hadn’t basically told me, it was extremely obvious.”

Sepia pushed his hand off of her shoulder and stood saying,

                “Oh great now I really don’t know what to do!” she became more and more anxious by the minute. Train had a confused look on his face as he asked,

                “Why do you have to do anything? Did he confess his feelings for her to her?”

She shook her head,

                “No, the prick isn’t even going to tell her. He is just going to lie like a lying liar lying face.”

Train laughed and said,

                “If he hasn’t told her, and from what I remember he said he would never tell her. Then you have nothing to worry about. He is not an idiot; he wouldn’t risk your friendship for anything.”

Sepia crossed her arms and angrily began to rant,

                “Yeah but, he shouldn’t feel that way. She calls him bro! He says we are his little sisters! That’s creepy! Just how long has he been like this over her and, and what the hell am I supposed to do with this? I mean do I tell Diamond ? Do I just keep the secret like everyone else obviously couldn’t? And what does Throttle get to know? She trusts him and he is basically lying to her!” she stumbled over her words and continued repeating the same meaning in different words. Train listened closely and soon realized what it was she really wanted to know.

                “You want to know if you can still trust him. Trust him around or with her?” she stopped talking as he asked and nodded her head.

                “I can’t tell you that, because I don’t know what goes on in his head. YOU have to ask him that and decide for yourself.”

Sepia stomped her foot and sat back down next to Train saying,

                “That’s not fair! You can’t just spat out some words of wisdom and make me do this!”

Train then said; in a serious tone,

                “Only you can do it. If I or Lithium or anyone else does it for you then you will never be satisfied with their answers. Cell is your best friend. He will talk to you about this and he won’t lie to you. You say he has been lying about this but he hasn’t, no one asked him.”

Sepia glared at Train, angry that he did not just let her vent and be done with it. She hated it when Cellophane did the same thing. He would feed her words of wisdom and send her on her way and make her angry because after that if she handled it the wrong way she knew she would just get another lecture from him.

                “A Lie of Omission is still a lie…” as she said it, she felt like Cellophane. He had said the exact same words to B***h Bot not too long ago. Train knew this and stood saying,

                “You do what you think is right. Either talk to Cell or talk to Throttle. You can’t just sit here angry though, that won’t solve anything.” He then began to walk home, before he could get out of earshot Sepia shouted,

                “Well thanks for nothing!”

He laughed and continued walking. Sepia sat on the bench, angry and attempting to decide. Before she could her phone began to ring, it was Cellophane. She ignored the call, but Cellophane left her a message.

                “Hey Sepia, I obviously have allot of explaining to do. I would have called you last night but some things came up… and that will be a story for another day. But whenever you want to meet and talk about this, I will. Just give me a chance to explain and then decide what you think of me. Ok?” the message ended and Sepia stared at the phone almost shaking in anger and confusion. She couldn’t understand exactly why it was making her so angry. ‘It’s not like they are together or anything ever happened…’ she thought to herself as she walked to her car.

Between the pills… and the new job… this is just more bullshit…’ as she drove back into Denton and to the house she tried listening to the radio to not think about it. She knew that until she could decide whether or not Cellophane could be trusted she had to keep Throttle away from him. She decided to pull a rash move. She called a number she almost never called,

                “Sepia? You never call me! Is Cell back in the hospital or something” Juicy’s voice came from the phone, Sepia tried to sound chipper and happy as she said,

                “No, I just have a HUGE favor to ask you. You are at work right?”

                “Yeah, what’s up?”  She responded curiously.

                “Well, I need you to hang out with my sister, she will be at the mall in a few and I can’t be there and I don’t want to just blow her off so I was wondering if maybe you could keep her company till I got out there. I have to do a few things and can’t make it to the mall to get her.”

There was a slight pause, Sepia sat at the red light with her fingers crossed and eyes squeezed shut hoping for a yes,

                “I guess so… Ok, is everything alright?” 

Sepia felt like telling her what was going on; maybe she would have advice on how to approach Cellophane on the subject. But then she realized that there was a chance she knew and would just pass it off not realizing how much it angered her…

                “No, no everything is fine. I just have a few things I need to pick up while I am still near my parents’ house and what not…” she replied, after a few minutes of talking to Juicy Sepia arrived at the house, Diamond  was gone but Cellophanes’ bike was still in the driveway. As Sepia slammed her head on the steering wheel she thought to herself,

                ‘Great… now I actually have to follow through with talking to him… why can’t I just make Throttle move out…?’ 

She was immediately greeted at the door by Hundun and Sawdust, now she knew that whoever was in the house knew she was home. Cellophane was sitting at the dining room table; he had an exhausted look on his face and was barely awake.  Sepia slowly tried to tip toe passed him but before she could he said,

                “I know you are there Sepia, come on… let’s get this over with.”

She didn’t know, but he had taken several of the painkillers, he was numb both physically and mentally. Sepia was nervous, but knew there was no backing out now.

                “I don’t really know what to say, I just don’t really know if I can trust you.” Sepia responded sitting in the chair across the table from Cellophane who was now at full attention, but still obviously tired.

                “I was never planning on making these feelings public. I told Lith because I needed someone to talk to about this. I only kept it from you because I knew you would flip s**t like this.”

Sepia grew annoyed by the tone of carelessness in Cellophanes’ voice. She could tell he was not seeing her side at all and felt as if he was not taking it seriously.

                “I don’t think you should live in the same house as Throttle… it is not fair to you and it is not fair to her…” she spoke quickly, fearing the words and then became still in preparation for the depressing response that was bound to break her, but a different reaction arose from Cellophane as he stood and slammed his hands down on the table,

                “F**k Sepia  do you realize there are so many other things going on right now that getting with your sister is at the bottom of my to f**k list?!” 

Sepia’s eyes grew wide in surprise and anger.

                “Excuse me?!” she responded standing and getting in Cellophanes’ face.

Cellophane laughed and slammed his knives onto the table, the blood from the night before was still stained on the blades, crusting and drying into a salt like granule.

                “Last night I killed two people, dead. All day today I have been trying to tackle how I should handle that situation.  Honestly, I did not think one bit about how I was going to explain myself to you over how I feel about Throttle. I get that you are mad, pissed maybe even so furious that you don’t know how to contain yourself; but right now I have got to either bury some skeletons deep, deep in my closet or I need to turn myself into the police.” As he spoke his voice failed him at several points while he tried to stop from crying out of guilt.

Sepia sat back down and picked up one of the knives, studying it not knowing whether to believe Cellophane or not.

                “Yes, I am in love with Throttle. But no, I am not ever planning on revealing or acting on those feelings. Not only is she out of my league , but if you seriously think I am stupid enough to try and get with my best friends little sister then obviously you don’t know anything about how my mind works, my brain gets up way quicker than my dick!” Cellophane then grabbed the knife out of Sepias’ hand and began to leave. As he grabbed his bike key Sepia said,

                “Cell don’t go anywhere you are high! What the hell is wrong with you!?”

Ignoring her he grabbed his helmet and jacket and left the house slamming the door so hard that the glass window cracked. Sepia grabbed her car keys and chased after him.



Part 3 Gossip


                “How do these look?” Throttle asked while trying on a pair of jeans. Juicy sarcastically applauded then gave a thumb up. Throttle huffed and went back into the changing room to put on her own clothes.

                “Hey, it’s not my fault Sepia decided to pawn me off on you. Hey! Think they would let me use your employee discount?” Throttle had never spent this much time with Juicy; she was more Cellophane and Lithium’s friend rather than her, Sepia or Diamond s.

The Macy’s department store was insanely crowded and Juicy just wanted to leave for the day. Had Sepia not begged her to take Throttle shopping for the day she would have already been home passed out on the couch. Instead she and Throttle walked around the mall for several hours.

                “Where do yo want to go next?” Throttle asked, but Juicy was busy going through her messages, a new one from Sepia read,

                ‘Hey, I need u to keep Throttle at the mall till about seven. Then I will come get her and you are off the hook. I will owe you big for this! Thanks!’

Juicy then rammed her head into her palm and stood putting on a fake smile saying,

                “Well, maybe we could go by the game store then the mattress store, I’ll go to sleep you go do whatever you want.”  Throttle didn’t take offense, she knew her sister was up to something, first she decides they should randomly visit their parents, and then she makes her spend the day with Juicy at the mall.

                “So… you have any idea why my sister is being so weird today?” Throttle asked sitting on a nearby bench. Juicy sat next to her and laid back tiredly saying,

                “Nope. She didn’t tell me what was going on just that she wanted me to take you around the mall… you know as if you have not already been in every store in this piss ant sized mall.”  It was increasingly obvious that Juicy was too tired to actually give a s**t about anything.

                “Wow that sounds like something Cell would say.” Throttle replied with a laugh.

Juicy raised an eyebrow in curiosity and asked,

                “So are you and Cell close?” Throttle shook her head in response.

                “No he is closer to Dime and Sepia… come on, let’s just go to the house, you can crash on the couch and I get to put these clothes up. I doubt Sepia is even home.” As quickly as Juicy agreed they were both in the car and on their way to the house.

The house was not very far from the mall, as they drew closer to the house Juicy began to wonder if Throttle knew of how Cellophane felt about her. Her curiosity got the better of her.

                “So, Cell’s pretty cute right?” She asked quickly. Throttle almost choked on her drink, she was caught off guard by the question and laughed slightly.

                “Just focus on the road!” she answered smiling.

                “That’s a yes.” Juicy said nodding.  Throttle scoffed and then stared at Juicy for a moment before saying,

                “Oh god, please don’t tell me you are going to try to get back with him…”

Juicy cocked her head back finding that her question had backfired completely; she laughed it off saying,

                “If I am?” 

Throttle was no longer smiling, in fact she was now irritated. She sternly said,

                “I just don’t want to see him get hurt… I wasn’t around when you two dated and broke up, but I was there for the B***h Bot fiasco. I don’t think he could take another hit like that.” Juicy was now speeding and angry as she said,

                “Are you saying you think I am like B***h Bot?” she calmed down as Throttle shook her head.

                “No, not anymore at least. From what I have heard… and read, when you and Cell where together you did not want to be with him anymore but stayed with him. B***h Bot did the same thing.” Juicy looked over at Throttle when she was saying that, thinking about the years when she and Cellophane went through the motions and pushed each other to the edge.

                “No Throttle, I am not trying to get back with him. Tender and I are in a happy and very stable relationship. I plan on keeping it that way.” Throttle smiled now, and seemed less hostile.

                “Then why ask that question? Why him, why not ask me if I think Lith or Tender are cute?”  As Throttle asked, Juicy knew she could not lie all the way. She stalled on answering as they pulled in the driveway, Cellophane’s bike; Sepia’s car and Diamond s truck were all gone.

                “Where is everyone?” Throttle asked curiously, Juicy shook her head,

                “I don’t know, that’s weird.”  They both walked in the house, greeted by Hundun and Sawdust whose hyper attitudes showed they had not been given any attention all day.


Juicy plopped down on the leather couch and rested her head on a throw pillow.  She checked her phone, there were no new messages. Throttle could be heard in the kitchen and Juicy realized she had forgotten to answer the question. Before she could say anything there was a knock at the door.


Part 4 Visitor


‘People are cruel… the world is cruel… I have become my uncle’s hand of god…’  Tony thought as he drove to the address on Cellophane’s application. He was now expected to either convince Cellophane to join the North Texas Beasts, or kill him.  The argument that had transpired only moments ago filled his memory…

                “That boy saved your life! Why must he die if he is smart enough to not get involved in this mess?”  Tony demanded answers, his uncle sat in a booth at the bar, his shoulder wound was badly dressed and regret filled his eyes. He stammered as he said,

                “Sombrino I,” 

But Tony did not give him time to create any more lies.

                “Cellophane is not a threat! Neither is his family!” Tony shouted, no one else was in the bar the anger and disgust in his voice was only heard by his uncle.

                “Nina spoke again today. Twenty years and not a single word… today she spoke as if she was reading off a script.” As his uncle explained Tony’s eyes widened.

                “Ella habló de el futuro?”

                “Cellophane debe morir, y aquellos que lo vengaría. Or alternativamente…” Mendez spoke the words the exact way he had heard them from his mother’s mouth.

                “Se convierte en uno de nosotros, y todo está bien.”  Tony finished it, as if the words had been spoken to him before. He quickly approached his uncle in anger with plans to strike him, but as he drew close Mendez pulled a gun and pressed it to Tony’s chest.

                “You will do this. Either kill him and his family, or get him on our side.” He threated, his voice quivering in fear of the prophecy.

                “What are you not telling me?” Tony asked, but as he did so he could hear a whisper in his mind,

                ‘Si no es así, tu familia tus amigos y todos aquellos tu han tocado, morirá.’ Tony stepped back placing his hand to his head.

Mendez lowered the gun recognizing the confused yet enlightened look in his nephews’ eyes. A large tear rolled down his scarred cheek.  He wanted to tell Tony that it was all superstitions of a senile old woman, that the last time she predicted the future it did not come true… but he would be lying.

                ‘Cellophane must die, and those who would avenge him. Or alternatively become one of us and all is well. If not, your family your friends and all those you have touched will die.’   This was the prophecy his grandmother spoke. A part of him felt ridiculous, another part of him was terrified. While he had killed before, he had never killed a friend. He put his Pistol in its holster and walked to the door.

The lights inside where on and he could hear two girls talking. He knocked and a familiar face answered.

                “Juicy? What are you doing here?” he asked as she stepped out. A taller white girl stood behind her inside the house. Juicy looked just as surprised as Tony did as she searched her mind for his name.

                “Timmy?” she asked,

                “Tony…” he answered irritated.

Juicy looked back at the girl as if to ask if it was ok to let him in, the white girl asked,

                “Who is he?”

Juicy responded with,

                “He is from Cell’s work. My dad knows him.”

Tony waved to the girl as he was let in; he tucked his jacket over the gun so no one could see it. This did not escape Juicy’s notice. He looked around hoping to see Cellophane to get this over with but it became increasingly obvious that he was not home.

                “Is there anything we can help you with Tony?” Juicy asked angrily now after seeing the gun.

The white girl nudged Juicy with her arm not knowing why she was being so angry and introduced herself,

                “Hi, I’m Throttle. I am…” Tony interrupted her saying,

                “Cells little sister right? He talks about you all the time.”

Throttle blushed a bit, Juicy then again angrily asked,

                “Why are you here Tony? Is Cell ok?”

Tony inhaled deeply saying,

                “Is he not here? I just have some things to talk to him about.

Juicy shook her head and then walked to the door opening it saying,

                “No, sorry you are going to have to try Lith’s house or maybe the bar I don’t know but he is not here.”

Tony could tell she was scared of him and soon Throttle could also be seen looking at him sideways in confusion as to why he was there. He shook Throttle’s hand and attempted to give Juicy a hug, which she backed out of, and began to leave, while he left the house he turned and said,

                “If you see Cell, tell him I need to see him before work tomorrow. It is a matter of life and death.” Juicy walked out behind him and closed the door so Throttle could not follow, she spun Tony around and said,

                “Don’t ever come here again, if you need to talk to Cell then you call him or text him or wait till he shows up at work where your bullshit belongs. My father has told me enough about your gang that I know something serious is going on. Club guns are only supposed to be carried inside the club and not in public.” Tony was incredibly surprised. He did not respond though, instead he turned and walked away trying to not warn her about what his uncle ordered him to do. He got in his car and waited till Juicy was back in the house, he called his uncle.

                “Mendez, he wasn’t home.”

                ‘What about one of the girls?’

                “One of them, but I could not do anything. Hector’s daughter was there.”

                ‘I see, I guess making a deal with that man has bitten us in the a*s. Stake the place out, wait for him. Let me know when the deed is done Sombrino.’

Tony agreed and hung up the phone. He could tell it was going to be a long night.

© 2013 ShaneBerry

Author's Note

next chapter, Chapter 8: The Consequence of loving without…

Pt1. Cellophane tells Doctor about the events of the previous night.
Pt2. Sepia confronts Cellophane about his feelings for Throttle.
Pt3. Crash and throttle get a visit from Tony when he is looking.
Pt4. Tony recalls prior events

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Added on November 15, 2012
Last Updated on May 13, 2013
Tags: life, love, hate, war, death, rebirth, religion, truth, science, Christianity, atheism, Judaism, Buddhism, Islam, Pagan, Confusiouse, peace, dark, light, animals, humans, plants, germs, bacteria, virus, blood, Heart



denton, TX

My Chemical Romance “The Ghost of You” Name: Shane Douglas Berry Age: Born on 8/4/1992 Hair color: Brown Eye color: Green Skin color: White, Freckled Tattoos: Oroborus (red, center.. more..

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