The true world

Her eyes wide with wonder

Her hands tiny but strong

She holds her head so tall

Her smile bright not frail

She may seem small and weak

She may not be able to stand

Though no matter what you think

Someday she will

She will see our world

For what it really is

For now just let her dream

That everything is peace

And then let her learn for herself

That everyone needs help

That in our world of illness and death

No one can stand alone

Let her learn that she can ask

And their will be a hand to grab

For no one needs to live

In a place where there’s only famine

She can’t stand alone

But like many she will be strong when together

@All rights reserved by Ashley.M.E

Reviews

[alesuriko]

In the first line, it should be "wonder" not "wander" and in the second line it should be "but" not "put". Also, the "And then" in the thirteenth line feels out of place, it might flow better if you removed them. But even so, the line isn't entirely grammatically correct because before "herself" it would need a "for". So my suggestion, just a suggestion, would be to make the line "Let her learn for herself". Also, the lines "That our world of illness and death / No one can stand alone" don't make complete grammatical sense. In order for it to flow, you need to add "in" in the first line "That IN this world".

Other than those issues, I enjoyed reading this piece. Very inspiring and motivational. An interesting look on the birth of a new human. I liked it.

[nyi]

i like this

[Marie Harrison]

Powerful poem. I enjoyed reading it.

[Bridget Mcmaken]

wow!!! this is great work! really nice girl! keep it up and the hard work will pay off. Your going to make a really, really great writer someday. I just know it! Your words are so powerful. Keep writing!

[Wolfwind Words]

Wow! You have outdone yourself with this piece Ashley! Not only was the topic a powerful and visable one in our world today but it came through with a wonderful flow and style.
I would only make one suggestion...line 15... I think it might sound better if it was "That in our world...."
Other than that one thing...This was perfect in my opinion!

Fabulous ink!
Wolfie