Chapter 1

It is Day 1 of the journal, and the day after the gruesome killing.

Day 1

 

Today is the day after the horrible events that hit our town. The media didn’t take long before it got to the scene, and the police department couldn’t hold all of them back. Because we live in a small town, the news really comes and goes, very quickly. But this was the biggest story of the month. Last month, something similar just flew by, like we didn’t care that someone was murdered.

This time, it was a couple who, for what the police department knew, had no enemies and nothing bad to be said about them.

There is only something really wrong with everything. Some of the evidence that I’ve been going over myself, apart from my dad--the Sheriff. The marks all over their bodies, the claw marks, bite marks. There was no doubt it was an animal. Like a dog with rabies or something.

One other detail confuses me, worries me to the point where all I want to do is break down and cry.

I think I did it.

Reviews

[Emma Anderson]

I think this sounds a little robotic and its very short for a first chapter or prologue. There is no description of the place or people and not really any tension going on. The sentence, "There is only something really wrong with everything." It doesn't make much sense. Perhaps you should read your work aloud to ensure it sounds good.

(I couldn't help feeling that there is something really wrong going on here.) May be more fitting for that line.

[Albert Teague]

Nice work it feels like a preview to an episode of Blood Lies and Alibis

[Arrow]

Suspense is key and I think you are grasping it will. Great.

[tashavoase]

This is an interesting start. There's a lot of suspense and mystery and I wonder whether the point of view is that of a human or an animal, as the reference to claws suggests. I like the way you use short sentences and I'm really interested to see what happens next.