Nightwalker

300 words

One of her hobbies was night walking and often during the week, late in the evening she would set off dressed for a hike. I wasn't that worried about her as she looked quite formidable, a figure of strength and capability in her knee length waterproof overcoat and hat with its own guttering for rainstorms. I watched her as the scurry of her feet took her up the hill, her scarf waving in the breeze. Behind her the moon stood full and bright, unblinking. She looked happy as though she had reached where she wanted to be, like in a warm embrace. At the top she paused, hovering her shoes an inch above the pavement, considering each area of ground below, savouring every step.

While I was spending the hours reading and watching TV, with the rain lashing on the window she would be out pacing the streets. Later I would be closing the house, turning off lights and pulling the curtains to. and would stare out at the night and she'd be in it, in its depths.

She wouldn't come back for many hours and usually return in the middle of the night at four o clock. She would come in quietly enough, but then would rattle around in the kitchen jangling cutlery and putting away crockery. I would be awake with the moonlight on my face, just listening. The kettle would boil, a teaspoon would clink and then her footsteps would bump up the stairs.

Sometimes I would call across the hall 'Did you have a good walk?'

'Yes,' she'd shout back,

'No problems then?'

'No of course not,' she'd say defensively.

'Good, goodnight then,'

'Good night dear. Sorry if I woke you.' By that time I was fast asleep, i just wanted to know she was safe.

Reviews

[Chris]

How we interact and learn to accept our differences while appreciating our presence... I liked this one - it reahed way inside and caressed my heart.

[LylaCrystal]

I enjoyed visualising the intense emotions through the lenses of trivial activities: a walk during the night, or the kettle boiling. It's amazing that two universes come toghether in such a natural way: one that is mysterious, synonymous with the quiet night, and the other that is predictable, trivial. I get a sense of resemblance with the legend of the nightwalker, but in your story it gives the impression that the myth and the reality coexist peacefully, transforming negativity into something much more beautiful. Great job! :)

Lyla

[CLCurrie]

I have to say I enjoy the story. It does feel like a small part to a bigger story but either way, my mind filled in the 'who' of who she is. In my mind, she is Nyx, the Goddess of the Night, but that is the great part about the way you wrote it. The lady could be anyone that the reader wants. I also understand if this is just a tiny part of a bigger story. It would be a great start to something bigger.
There is only one thing I would change at the moment, (let me read it again and I might find something else) but it is the line " I watched her as the scurry of her feet took her up the hill." You don't need the "of her feet," part, because scurry let the reader know it is her feet doing the work. I think I would write as "I watched her as she scurry up the hill," or something along those lines.
Other than that I think the work is done well and if it is part of a bigger story then I would love to read the rest.

[BESMASMILE]

Enjoyed the walk under moonlight! A meticulous description with a poetic aura! A lovely read!

[Adam Adams]

Nicely inked. Short and pretty much flourished. The story of "Nightwalker" is really well penned with such insightful thoughts, and the smooth vocab of literature. Loved the way how you capture one's life moment, and swiftly get this turned into something epic... just like this story with love by saying: "just waned to check if you're safe". It made the write one of my fav, i believe so. Looking forward to reading your work.

[augustus]

Well written and a curious content.

[Crowley]

So much can be said in 300 words. I love the short, shorts especially when the writer packs just enough in to make the point but also leave us wondering, "what if" or "what next". this was beautifully written and a very soulful look at one of the oddities of relationships. I think you did a great job with the characterization and dialogue. Loved every word.

[Onlyme]

I loved this great read, really makes you think. A woman out on her own, Hiking in the countryside, woods, forest wherever. Alone in the dark where anything could happen to her an accident, raped abused, killed even. And her partner. Saying to her. When she eventually comes home in the early hours of the morning. Waking up and saying. I just wanted to know your okay. How ironic, true and inform of human nature.

[Samuel Dickens]

The writing is very good, but the ending left me scratching my head, wondering if I had missed something. It is what it is, and that will be enough.