Echoes of You

~Echoes of You~

Your ghost hides in the corners of our wrinkled sheets,

reaching out transparent hands to grasp at my foolishness.

I've never enjoyed swimming naked in guilt's sea;
it leaves me dripping remorse.
It appears death's formidable grip can trump a full hand
of indifference every time.

The mundane, repetitious days of our existence
held me in perspective as one
too ambivalent to shake his disembodied shoulders.

The scent of your demise, to me, seemed innocuous
fleeting and unable to bloom.

But flowers, I've discovered, are fragile things
that, in a short period of time,
will die from the slightest chill.

And I" unbelievably"
immersed in my neglectful, narrow corner
unable to sympathize or relate to simple needs
never noticed at all
your petals
falling one by one.

How often have men picked their flower in life only to ignore her later through the trials of marriage? Her tears like petals have fallen. Now, through her absence, he realizes too late, what he has done: Disregarded and Ignored his soul mate.

Your thoughts are always welcome.

Author's Note

Note to self: Changed the picture and a couple of words.


A quick note:

~~This is by far my most popular poem. And yet, it didn't start that way. Many young people are offended by advice or suggestions from others. They feel insulted that someone would critique their writing.

As for me, I came here not just to share my writing but to learn as well. If it wasn't for suggestions from Rick Puetter and Girl Friday (see below) I don't think the poem would have been as good. The poet Richard also helped me fine tune the poem and it is now--after all these years--(in my mind) complete.

We can always learn from other people as long as we know they have more experience and know-how than us.~~

Reviews

[oohjulie]

I love this poem..seems more like a method of transportation to a world than words.

[Relic]

Thanks very much oohjulie. :)

[Annette Pisano-Higley]

Amazing poem and sad, dark image to illustrate the mood of it. A woman, wife, left to quietly decay like a withered rose, in callous neglect.-"Never noticed at all...your petals.. falling one by one."-brilliant line and metaphor. The man doth protest too much, but you give this woman a voice. Bravo!

[Relic]

Thank you very much Annette. :)

[Priscilla Sayers]

I felt that one Buddy
To the core
Very powerful and I am relating
Sorry my writing is vague as I am but believe me I find this writing very immense with emotion

[Relic]

Thank you very much Priscilla. Your writing is fine. :)

[TiffanyThomas]

I am a sucker for lost love and anything sentimental. You captured it.

[Relic]

Thank you very much Tiffany. :)

[Katerina Grev]

Truly brilliant work, moved me to tears, I don't even have any words.

[Relic]

Ahh, thanks for reading.

[Raven Moonchild]

This poem is just simply beautiful. :) It brought tears to my eyes.

[Relic]

Ah, thanks for reading it Raven.

[Raven Moonchild]

And thank you for posting it. :)

[George Coombs]

A briliant thought provoking poem, sensitive and engaging, a lovely image also

[Relic]

Thank so much for your review George.

[Nipplegrinder]

This is a truly brilliant effort.

[Relic]

I appreciate that, thanks very much.

[SJ Mullins]

I could not agree more with your Author's note. I don't ever mind constructive criticism. I can see why this is the most popular. I have written several along these lines, but none are as eloquently written as yours. Seriously! It's sad when relationships become complacent and end. Believe me, I know about the complacency, though I cannot walk away.

[Enchanted-Raven]

Sadly it happens to both, sobering words, beautifully done..yet so very sad :) x

[Relic]

I appreciate the review, thanks.