Echoes of You

~Echoes of You~

Your ghost hides in corners of our wrinkled sheets

reaching out transparent hands to grasp at my foolishness.

I've never enjoyed swimming naked in guilt's sea - 

It leaves me dripping remorse.

It seems, death's formidable grip can trump a full hand 

of indifference every time.

The mundane, repetitious days of our existence

held me in perspective as one

too ambivalent to shake his disembodied shoulders. 

The scent of your demise to me seemed innocuous -

fleeting, and unable to bloom;

But, flowers - I've discovered - are fragile things 

that in a short period of time

will die from the slightest chill.

And I...unbelievably -

immersed in my neglectful, narrow corner -

unable to sympathize or relate to simple needs -

never noticed at all -

your petals -

falling one by one.

How often have men picked their flower in life only to ignore her later through the trials of marriage? Her tears like petals have fallen. Now, through her absence, he realizes too late, what he has done: Disregarded and Ignored his soul mate.

Your thoughts are always welcome.

Author's Note

Note to self: Changed the picture and a couple of words.


A quick note:

~~This is by far my most popular poem. And yet, it didn't start that way. Many young people are offended by advice or suggestions from others. They feel insulted that someone would critique their writing.

As for me, I came here not just to share my writing but to learn as well. If it wasn't for suggestions from Rick Puetter and Girl Friday (see below) I don't think the poem would have been as good. The poet Richard also helped me fine tune the poem and it is now--after all these years--(in my mind) complete.

We can always learn from other people as long as we know they have more experience and know-how than us.~~

Reviews

[humbleServant]

I love it!!! you are so talented!!!

[Relic]

Thanks very much.

[Ardra]

And I...unbelievably--
immersed in my neglectful, narrow corner--
unable to sympathize or relate to simple needs--
never noticed at all--
your petals--
falling one by one.

Its true ,after a point of time they feel there is no need to nourish or to be there....love is so like a fragile flower which needs care and tender nourishing to stay beautiful...

thanks for sharing such wonderful poem..

[Relic]

Thank you for reading Galadriel.

[Mirror]

this is sad. i felt so much emotions and my heart goes out to women with this experience.

[Relic]

Thanks for reading Mirror.

[Angelheart1]

Those echoes and ghosts can follow us through a lifetime.

I believe this is the first of your work I’ve read and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I see from your Author’s notes that it is an old one with many revisions made - but it is now a masterpiece of writing. I’m glad I came across it today and am anxious to read more from you. Angelheart

[Relic]

Thanks very much Angel. I appreciate that. :)

[Angelheart1]

You are very welcome.

[Susan 🦋]

oh boy! This is a heart-felt write. Why do the lessons in life have to be so difficult? Strong message here...gratefulness.

[Relic]

Thank you, Susan.

[Sean M. Addams]

a very deep and dark piece. overall I think you did a great job on this. love the detail in this piece.

[Relic]

Thank you Sean.

[wordman]

this poem is full of regrets and remorse tim,love the new image,a touching write

[Relic]

Thanks Wordman.

[Angie G]

Ahh... But the beauty in this is that flowers once again will bloom, therefore giving you the chance to adore and admire it's never-ending beauty. Those that have fallen petals can once again live if only you tenderly bring it back to life. Never forget God gives us second chances. Happy writing!

[Relic]

Thanks so much Angie.

[marilyn 1225]

a masterpiece
meaning so much to me

sad but neglect for a woman who ages or is not attractive or exciting as a younger newer model happens --- I believe that only in the deepest love is there everflowing lasting love and more

[Relic]

Thanks for reading Marilyn. :)

[Stella Armour]

Too often Tim, your beautiful poem is a sad reflection that women are like flowers in a garden and if neglected they fade away or someone else will see their beauty and nurture them into full bloom

[Relic]

So true. Thank you Stella. :)