New and Improved

 

 

     Friendship is a single soul living in two bodies- Aristotle

 

 

  "What do you want?" Spencer asked Carry.

 

 

   "Your my new step-brother and all. Don't be talking to the trash around this school," she told him playing with her blond hair casually.

 

 

   "Takes trash to know trash," Michelle said.

 

 

   "There are at least four hundred people who would willingly back me up on that," Carry sneered.

 

 

   "No you lost some because most of your friends are either stupid, s****y, or they talk about you behind your back. Your not miss everything. Your just the pretty blond headed preppy bit** that thinks she is," Michelle smiled. She blew a kiss to Spencer to let him know she's still very interested, and left Carry standing there with the enraged look on her face. Michelle wasn't taking any crap anymore! It wasn't so hard really. You just have to say the right things. Though Michelle would never turn into Carry, it's impossible.

 

 

   "You were almost late again Miss. Sky," Miss. Grady snapped again.

 

 

   "Very sorry," Michelle said rolling her baby blue eyes. This new spark of attitude was unleashed and Michelle didn't know how to put out that spark.

 

 

   "Hey," Michelle heard from behind her. She turned around and realized it was someone new. Because usually no one sat near Michelle. She was rather pretty though with her soft features and long honey brown hair. Blue eyes like her won shimmered with happiness. Obviously this girl didn't know Michelle, and Carrys we don't talk to her rule. Haha perfect!

 

 

   "Nice to meet you I'm Anika," she smiled showing perfect teeth. Something about this girl just isn't normal. She's way to happy and nice to be human. This girl Is now on Michelle watch.

 

 

   "Nice to meet you to I'm Michelle," she replied trying to put the same happiness in her voice. Michelle desperately needed a friend. And how could she let Carry take hold of this happy, gleaming girl and turn her into a devil?

 

 

   "I'm a transfer student from California," she said.

 

 

   "So why did you move to Texas?" Michelle asked trying to make conversation. Anika's eyes gleamed with happiness when she realized Michelle was going to carry on a conversation with her.

 

 

   "I play a lot of volleyball, and this school has a very great team," she explained.

 

 

   "I don't really watch many of the sports here honestly," Michelle confessed moving her long red hair out of her eyes.

   "That's a shame but oh well. Is your hair naturally that red?" Anika asked touching her hair. This girl was weird, but Michelle was familiar with weird. Anika wasn't that bad actually:) 

 

 

   "Yes it is," Michelle smiled. She has actually made a friend!

 

 

   "Miss Sky! Do turn around in your seat and pay attention!," Miss. Grady ordered. Michelle smiled at Anika before turning around. For some reason she was filled with so much joy.

 

 

   The bell finally rang ordering them all to lunch. Anika stayed by Michelle the whole time, but Michelle actually enjoyed her company.

 

 

   "What's up," Michelle heard from behind her. She smiled and turned around.

 

 

   "The sky," she smiled at Spencer.

 

 

   "Very funny," he smiled," whose the new chic?" he looked over at Anika.

 

 

   "This is my new friend Anika," Michelle smiled hugging the girl.

 

 

   "Well nice to meet you Anika," he smiled looping his arm through Michelle's.

 

 

   "Is this your boyfriend?" Anika smiled tugging on Michelles shirt.

 

 

   "She's playing hard to get at the moment," Spencer answered winking at Michelle. Her cheeks turned a dark shade of crimson.

 

 

   "That's cute," Anika smiled at her.

 

 

   They walked into the lunchroom together. Spencer didn't even bother to move his arm from hers, which sparked some butterflies. Anika walked beside her with a huge smile on her face. This girl was a good influence. Michelle even started to carry a smile around. It surprised her because it wasn't one of her fake smiles! She was truly happy right now.

 

 

   And that happiness ended the moment a piece of cake hit Anika. Then Michelle was full of rage!

 

 

   "Were terribly sorry new girl," Carry and her friends said," we were aiming for the other freak."

 

 

Author's Note

This chapter is dedicated to my number one fan Anika:)

Reviews

[Astro]

This is a very ordinary, somewhat cliche depiction of life in school between the popular and not so popular. By saying that, I'm not saying that it is a horribly written story. The dialogue is very appropriate and pushes the story along well to an understandable and gripping ending that makes the reader want to keep going to see what will happen next. On the grammar side, the use of possessives and contractions could be cleaned up. I found several instances where "your" was used and should have been "you're" or, "you are". Also, where "Spencer" is holding onto "Michelles" arm, it should have been "Michelle's". This line is a bit confusing due to a typo, or just poor grammar I'm not quite sure, " Blue eyes like her won shimmered..." I think you were trying to say, "Blue eyes like her's shimmered with happiness."
Another thing that you could work on with this piece, is descriptions of the foreground. Tell the reader what the hallway looked like, or the cafeteria, the classroom, or how the cake looked all over Anika's face. Adding some descriptive sentences will strengthen your story more. Keep it up, you have a good handle on dialogue, characters and plot. Just work on the grammar and descriptions.

[Sharon L.H. Kelly]

Descriptive with smooth flow. Interesting characters. More!

[RainDancer1997]

Thanks you so much I'm glad you liked it:)

[Mizo4]

cool chapter, nice ya style of writing, good teen book :)

[KurKota]

Very descriptive writing. Nice ue of setting scenes. Nice alluding to nuances of appearances effects.

[A.J.]

I like this! although I wouldn't be so concerned with the **'s. its not primetime tv, its primetime Lit. lol.