Chapter Seven

It's been a week since Katrina and Sierra broke up. I haven't heard or seen Katrina in that time, Sierra however asked me to come over for dinner because her family was hassling her. Apparently her sister read her diary and learned of her relationship with Katrina. I'm nervous about this, I never got along with Sierra's family. It's as if I also say or do the wrong thing with them. I get ready for 5:30, Sierra said she's picking my up around 5:45. I'm wearing my most polite and classy outfit I have. Trying to impress her family for the hundredth time. I hear her honk, I step outside kissing my parents goodbye on the cheek and telling them I'll be back relatively late. I walk out in the cool darkening night and grip the cold metal handle into the red metallic vehicle, pushing my body into the carpeted seat of the van. I peer over at Sierra whom has looked quite dreadful these last days I presume. Her eyes are bloodshot from lack of sleep, her blonde hair tangled in many places. Her small nose red and irritated. She looks homeless in the dirty sweater she hid herself in and grey track pants that had holes and tears in them. She grimaced slightly at me, the cut on my forehead had just began to scar over, she rolled over it with her eyes remember the day her and Katrina broke up.

        'Hi, How are you?' I said breaking the silence

        'I'm Okay, For tonight, please don't say anything about Kat and me or my Lesbianism' She told me

        'I wouldn't, C'mon of course not'

        'I know, just making sure' she said embarrassingly

She shyly turned the car on and put the car in gear, turns around putting her hand on the back of my seat and reverses out of my drive way and on to my street. I was still nervous being in the car but I had my trust in her so I rested my head back and reminisced in my thoughts of Melissa. We arrived at Sierras about a half hour from departing from my house, although I truly couldn't make an accurate assumption of the time seeing as most of my concentration was wielded for Melissa. I don't go to Sierra's house very often so I hadn't remembered the look of her house. As I stepped out of the car I examined the unfamiliar home. It had beige bricks, and red floored deck. Fairly small 1980's style Irish bungalow. With a black tiled roof that looks very old and weathered. The windows were all drawn with light cr�me coloured drapes. We walked up the cracking asphalt drive and up on the deck. I peered across and saw the wooden love swing moving slowly in the wind. We stepped inside and immediately the feeling of unimportance and being unwelcome overwhelmed my body. Inside looked very 80's. With pale green sofa set and a dark round dinner table. I waved at her father who was holding a beer sitting on the sofa watching wrestling, and her mother didn't bother with us as we strolled through the kitchen to the stairs. The house seemed to have unacknowledged Sierra's existence. We reached her room. It was messy, with magazines and books askew all over. Her bed unmade and a slight smell of sweat lingering in the room. I sat down on the bed, stretching out and closing my eyes. Knowing my thoughts of Melissa would have to come to an end because my duties as a friend were about to come in.

        'Sierra, How are you?'

        'I'm Fine? Why wouldn't I be?'

        'Because I've been your friend since birth and I know you'

        'Well Nothings wrong'

I grab hold of her hand, she breaths heavily and finally spills

        'I'm going to take my sweater off, don't scream'

        'Why would I-'

My voice was dropped dead in its track when I say the purple and blue marks under the sweater. The red marks lining her breasts and her the dark spots where blood vessels had broken. My face transfixed in an awe expression. I slid over the bed and traced my hands on the discoloured skin as if my hands would some how heal her bruises. Her bra loose on her shoulders, and her track pants looking suspicious sitting on her hips. I look up at her face, and taking the closer look, I notice the amount of foundation and makeup on her face. Her eyes welt up in tears and she runs over and tackles me onto the bed in a hug. She cries into my shoulder as I tentatively run my hands on her bruised back to calm her down.

        'Sierra, this may sound weird. But take off your pants.'

        'What? Why?'

        'I have a feeling there's more'

She slowly removes her track pants to reveal the red scars and bruises from what appeared to be cuts. I gasp in disgust as I see dried blood lining breaks in her skin. She breaks into a sob and lets me run my hands over the cuts. I pull up her track pants and hug her.

        'Who did this?' I ask sternly

        '...my dad' she quietly

        'What? Why?!' I snap

        'He, well... he does not like my orientation.'

        'What? He is beating you because your gay? Tell your mom!'

        'She knows, it was her idea. It was her idea to use the belts' she said motioning to her legs

        'You can't put up with this, run away!'

        'And go where? Your mom would never let me in! Melissa's parents are like mine you know that!'

        'Sierra, call the police'

        'I can't, if my parents found out... well you don't want to know.'

        'Your being stubborn Sierra, you are so much better then this'

        'No, I'm not. I'm nothing. My family doesn't love me, my girlfriend broke up with me. The only thing I         have is you guys'

        'Exactly you have us!'

        'Still, where am I without family though?'

        'With us!'

        'Never mind Elysia, just... can we talk about this another time?'

        'Fine, but you have us, you always will.'

        'Yes, I know'

With that, our conversation had ended. Just as abrupt as it started, I wrap my brain around the concept of Sierra getting abused and the reason for it. Should I tell her about my crush on Melissa? I stare at her for a second, her expression tells me she is embarrassed by what she has revealed to me. Her Blonde hair, matted and dirty looked suddenly sweaty and bloody. For fear of finding another bruise on her delicate body I leave it with the suspicion of what more I do not know about her. I feel like crying, her poor body looks so badly broken. Her pride and dignity gone along with it, but she stills stands tall as if nothing is affecting her. I study her closer, watching her movement and noting that everything now has been affected by this. I didn't notice it before but she is hiding her body with clothes and her hands. Her eyes no longer filled with activity and life, instead they look dead and boring. Like they are just eyes, just body parts inside a face. The only purpose is for vision. When, eyes as I see them, are the gateway to personality. The way someone looks at something creates such a connection.

        'Girls, Dinner!' Sierra's Mother calls out in a spiteful tone.

All the colour, or what was left, had gone from Sierra's face and she dropped her jaw in awe. It was the moment she and I were dreading. Now more then before because of the recent information given. I realized after a quick glance of the clock on her bedside that we have been here for forty-five minutes already. We hugged for a moment, I softly kissed her on the cheek. She was so close to tears, I told her I was there and nothing was going to happen to her. We walked to the dinner table, which seemed to take forever. I took my place in the provided chair and took a look at Sierra's father. His disgust by his daughter could be seen in his eyes. He radiated hate from them, the look I'm sure was the same one that broke up Sierra and Katrina in the first place. I look at her mother who seems to be quiet and awkward. Nothing seemed like it was good, no good family time. The broken family said grace, and without extra words started eating. I felt nervous, her father kept eyeing me down. His scruffy black beard tickling his food. His pierced blue eyes fixed, and his large nose with age present on its tip. Bushy black eyebrows counteract the eyes and short curly hair warms his scalp. He was a large hairy man, beer bellied and all. He seemed to be enjoying his meal but not a single glance off of me and Sierra made its way on the scene. I turn my direction to Sierra's mother, who is nervously picking at her food. Obvious OCD, and wasn't hiding it. She was a skinny woman with straight blonde hair. Her eyebrows lined her green eyes, and her nose was kind of like a hook. Very pale women, with a very fair complexion. Her lips were thin and pursed. Concentrating on her food, she did not dare look up. Until suddenly, Sierra's father cleared his throat to speak.

        'Ah-Hem. Elysia, are you "gay" too?' he burst out proudly

I nearly choked on my food, scared and panicked I mustered out a no and turned my face into my food.

        'Well, that's good. At least your parents don't have to deal with such idiocy as gay people.' he laughed coldheartedly

Sierra slammed her fork down on her plate, spewing broccoli and meat all over the table. Knocking over her milk and pushing back her chair in a startling screech. The action shook my bones and made me stare with intense confusion at Sierra although I knew exactly what had angered her. She bolted out of her chair and back to what I guessed as her room. I followed as quickly as my quivering body would allow and just as I turned the corner of the dining room entrance into the hallway I heard her dad's blusterous voice beckoning

        'One day Sierra you'll learn to be normal and polite and stop all this nonsense of gay behaviour. Then you will finally be seen as our daughter'

Those words even cut me deep as I ran after Sierra in an unwelcome house. I reached her door and I heard the sobs from the broken girl. Pushing open the creaky to her room I see Sierra laying on her bed crying harder then I've seen anyone in my entire life. I was homesick and I wished I was back in my room but I push forward to her bed and sit behind her hips. I curl my body around the figure of hers and put my arm around her. The closest I've ever been to a girl, gave me butterflies but not like the ones given by the sweet thoughts of Melissa.

        'Sierra, You know they will get used to it'

        'NO! Elysia you don't know my parents! You've never known them. You know me but when it comes to         y problems you've never paid attention. No one cares! Melissa doesn't, You don't, Katrina didn't, not         even my parents care.' she half yelled

        'Sierra that's not true!'

        'Yes it is! Don't lie, you know it's true. Just get the hell out of here Elysia!'

        'Sierra?'

        'Go!'

I got up and proceeded to the door to her bedroom. I turned around to see once last look at my best friend who laid curled and devastated on her bed.

        'I love you Sierra, We all do! Never forget that'

Those final words came from inside my heart, uncontrolled by my lips almost as if they had their own mind and came out on their own will. I turned and left the house quiet and determined. I pursued my long walk home in the cool night. Without looking back at the Irish style bungalow house with the red bricks and broken asphalt drive, I walked. My stomach gurgled as my walk digested the little bit of food that I had eaten before the unexpected ending to the supper. I realized how rude I must have been but did not care for my tears ran freely down my cheek causing me to shiver with cold. I spent my walk thinking about my surroundings and what had just happened. The cracked sidewalks humoursly mimicked my life, intact and strong but yet broken and weak in the smallest of areas. The blue sky was now a dark purple and the moons glow was obviously a stronger light source then the sun by now. I studied the moon, it's full. Emitting a shiny silvery glow around it, letting its like bounce off of every metallic surface in site. Few cars were rolling on the suburban maze of roads that I navigated myself around back to my own domain. I knew the way, it wasn't hard just long. Tediously long. I walked at a mediocre pace taking in my surroundings analytically but fast enough to not get caught in the dead of the night. I finally found the exit of the suburban streets and continued on one of our major roads. Walking on a small bridge over the highway, I ran my hands along the bar remembering the story of a boy who plunged his helplessly saddened body over the railing and into the dangers of speeding cars below. I was in grade 6, he was the first person I knew to commit suicide. I looked at my watch, much to my surprise it had been 2 hours since I left Sierra's house. A loud noise caught my ears, sirens. The speeding box shaped ambulance raced by me in the opposite direction and deafened my ears as they drove by. I shrugged it off as it was a big town, probably just emergency call. Police, Fire and Ambulance respond when that happens. I left the house around 6, meaning I got home around 9:30 and wanted to weakly walk to my room but unfortunately no peace would be given to my body as my parents sat broken faced at the dinner table seemingly waiting for me.

        'Hi mom, sorry I'm later then I said I'd be home. I had to walk home, Sierra and I got into a fight'

        'Hunny, It's alright. Come sit down, We would like to talk to you'

Curiously I walked up and sat on the empty chair provided for me. I looked at my parents, sadness, despair, and empathy swirling in the orbs beneath their eyebrows. My mother grabbed my hand and with a stern face gave me the news they had been dreading to tell me.

        'After you left Sierra's house, She... well'

        'Pumpkin...'

Uh-oh my dad never uses 'pumpkin' unless something is wrong, the last time he used it was when we weren't going on our family vacation. We don't have a another one planned, what does it have to do with Sierra? What happened, did her father beat her again?

        '...we got a call from Sierra's Parents not to long before you came home.'

My mother started crying, my dad held her and she buried her head inside his shoulder. I was starting to get mad, the blood was boiling inside and my brow was becoming more and more determined. As I watched my mother let whatever was inside of her free and my dad whose eyes normally look bright and happy were dead and almost gray, I remembered the ambulance that past me on my walk home.

        'The Ambulance!' I shrieked

        'Sierra was pronounced dead when they got to her house' My dad said almost reading exactly the purpose of my outburst

Tears broke free from their dam and ran down my cheek as fast as a tap, wetting my shirt and pants. I tried to get up and go to my room to my sanctuary but my knees collapsed underneath me and I hit the floor, keeping my hands in front of me so I wouldn't smash my face. I sobbed to the floor, until my mother grabbed my shoulder. She sat down with me and curled around me. I remembered how Sierra's body felt around mine laying with her on her bed after tonight's dinner. My heart ached a hurt I've never experienced before. I gut splitting searing pain from the left of my chest. My lungs were tight, it was hard to breathe. I was smashed with doubtful feelings, it couldn't be true. I just saw her, the life in her eyes and her body. The tanned skin glowed and her hair flowed actively. My hands were slowly forming a fist as all the memories rushed back in my brain as clear as day, it was almost as if I was experiencing them again. The intoxicated night taking pictures, the Camping trip, the mini putt all of it seemed to play again in my mind like a film on a roll. Replaying like a movie theatre. I slammed my fist down hard on my wood floor sending a sting right up my wrist and elbow. I found the strength to return to my feet, I stood there looking at nothing impeticuler and shoved my hands in my pockets. I walked straight outside of my home towards Melissa's house. My parents didn't call after me, or wonder why I was going out. Someway I knew they knew I was heading to Melissa's. I once again walked the maze of suburban streets.