Chapter 18

A Chapter by Keevan

Play the song at the bottom while reading.

Lucy

Insanity. That word played over and over again in my mind. What had happened to me, back at the house? Were the dishes hexed or something?!

No, it wasn't that. It was my inner Homunculus. But it was my Humanity that scared me out of it. Like I kept telling myself, I'm more human than anything else.

The feelings that were overwhelming me back at the house had completely faded away. The only thing left was fear. It occured to me that Envy could sneak up on me anywhere and make it happen again.

And the next time, there might be people around. That won't be good.

I found myself standing on a hill next to a big oak tree. The sunset had completely disappeared, and it was dark, expect for a few stars in the sky. There was a full moon.

"Lucy!"

I jumped and quickly turned around to find Winry running towards me with a flashlight.

"Winry," I started, trying to act normal. "What--What are you doing here?"

"Edward called," she said, stopping to catch her breath. "He's coming home. He says there's something he has to tell you."

Not good. He can't come back with what's going on. I felt my heart ache, a possibility sinking into my mind that I'd somehow have to get him to leave. He might get hurt or afraid. Or worse: the same thing could happen to him.

"I don't want him home," I said, trying to sound as cold and unfeeling as I could. I used to be able to pull it off pretty well, but not that well anymore.

"Lucy, what's going on?" Winry demanded. "You're acting strange again. This isn't about Edward at all! What's the matter?!"

"Everything!" I screamed without meaning to. "I'm scared, I don't know what's going on, and I...I..." I balled up my fists and crammed them against my eyes to try and stop the tears from coming, but it didn't work so well. "I love him, Winry! I--I can't let him get hurt. I need help!" I crumpled to my knees.

"Lucy, we can get you help," Winry said, sounding a little confused, but mostly worried. "I just have to know what's wrong."

"I can't...!" I gasped. "You won't believe me. I can't tell you!" I felt like if I said the wrong thing, Envy was going to materialize and torture me somehow.

"Lucy, let me take you home," Winry started. "You really need some sleep."

"I can't go back there!" I half screamed-half whispered. "It's there! The madness, the insanity...!"

"It's all in your head," Winry said calmly, helping me up. "Just calm down, I'm taking you home."

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Despite my protests, Winry made me go back to the house. I was relieved to see that the lights were still on.

"See?" she said. "Nothing's here. Like I said, all in your head."

"All in...my head," I repeated. "But, Winry, you weren't there. You didn't see them...the shadows...they've been everywhere--"

"Again, all in your head," she said for the third time, leading me upstairs. "You need Edward to come home, Lucy. The lonliness and depression is getting to you."

"But...what happened earlier...it seemed so real, like he was right there..."

"Like who was there? Edward?"

I shook my head. "No. Never mind about it." I was afraid of telling her about Envy. And if I couldn't tell her anything, that meant that I couldn't be helped. Who could help an insane person, anyway?

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Edward was home. I was so happy. Smal tuffs of light were floating around the open air of Resembool. Edward was standing by the stairs, waiting for me. And I wanted to run towards him. Tell him what I've been dying to tell him since he left.

To tell him I loved him.

But, my legs wouldn't work. Edward noticed this and just started laughing. But, it was a kind of gentle laughter, not meant to make fun of me or anything. The next thing I knew, he was walking up the stairs to me and he wrapped his arms around me.

"I'm home," he whispered in my ear. "I'm not leaving again."

"You better not," came out of my mouth. "You better not leave again, Edward."

"I won't, Lucy."

It was perfect.

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When I woke up, my pillow was wet. I guessed it was because I cried in my sleep. I wanted Edward to come home. I wasn't going to let anything stop that. Not one ounce of insanity or madness was going to stop me from wanting him home.

I got up, got dressed, and went downstairs to find that the broken platte was still scattered on the floor. I picked up the pieces and threw them away outside without looking at my reflection in any of them.

I saw that there was still some dishes that had to be washed, so I washed them. Nothing strange happened, and I started thinking to myself that whatever happened the day before really was just in my head.

Until I heard Envy's voice again.

Let's have some fun again, the words echoed in my mind. I froze, dropping the dish I was cleaning back into the sink. I took a few steps back as my vision got black and fuzzy around the edges again. The rest of my vision was tinted red.

I felt a huge smile spread across my face. My laughter was uncontrollable. Nothing was funny except the madness I felt creeping in on me.

I picked up the soapy wet plate that was in the sink and--for some reason I couldn't comprehend--I smashed it on my head.

Pieces of plate and blood were everywhere. In the reflection of the window above the sink, I saw blood trickling down my forehead and forking once it reached the bridge of my nose. There was a lot of blood.

Let the madness take over. Let your inner Homunculus have some fun! I think, we should go for a walk!!

"O-okay-ay!" I said as best as I could while laughing so hard. I wasn't in control of my body anymore. It led me to the door, and when I went outside, there were thick, dark clouds hanging in the sky. It was darker than it should've been at that time of day. The wind was blowing and howling. I took a step forward, and another, until I was stumbling down the dirt path, giggling like a maniac.

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