Even THe Candles Crying

“Somewhere between “Crying loudly to seek attention” and “Crying silently to avoid attention”, we all grew up . . .”

If I started crying will something change? What is the meaning of crying ? Why we re crying ? All of these questions rolling over and over inside my mind . But I want to find answers for these questions so I kept looking for them .
For the first question , I don’t think that something is gonna to change if we cryed out loud or silently or I am just don’t know the answer . We just cry for nothing that’s why nothing don’t change .Like if I died will something change ? 
For the second one, people definit the meaning of crying by I don’t know like when you are sad or happy you cry or you get hurt . I don’t know or you have something heavy inside your heart to feel confortable you just need to cry and get it out . I think they were meaning that . But when he start tasting his desserts they start to cry.  I think they were sad because they are not anymore existe in this world . That’s why they were crying . I heard them once but I don’t know why I didn’t felt empty for them . Hearing them crying and beging I don’t know why . Maybe I stated being heartless like him . No more emotionals or feelings to feel the others pain . But why I cannot cry them I just envy his desserts they can at least cry but what about me . Why I cannot anymore cry ? Did my tears had dry or what ? If not what is the problem with me and my tears . Why they stoped ? They said that the person who cannot anymore cry it means that he don’t have a soul anymore . So does it mean that that I don’t have anymore a soul to feel the pain and cry . So that’s why I can’t cry anymore but I am kinda  can’t believe these words . I think it’s a lie . Because I am not like that or Am I ? But I’ve sold my soul when I was in need of money so it means that I sold my tears too?          And I’ve sold my feelings too because I wasn’t in need of them . But I didn’t thought of once that I will need them . But there was someone who bought them for me a new one new feelings to feel him . He said that everything in this world has feelings but you .. why? No one knew that I don’t need feelings because they were heavy to handle . I just feel free when I sold them no more pain no more sadness or happiness . Otheres cannot understand the way that I felt when I sold them . And know I am asking why I cannot cry anymore . I just missed my tears seeing everyone can cry when I can’t I envy them from the bottom of my heart . They are much better than me by having feelings. That’s why I want my tears back to cry to scream to feel confortable . I just can’t bear living in the same world as them . What is the problem of being alone crying alone and living alone I think it’s much better than nothing or living with people like them . But there was only one thing I am happy with it’s him my flower . Who will cut me oneday . But before selling my feelings I couldn’t cry . I think that was my punishment no tears because of things that I did in my past life . Maybe I was an evil angel . Maybe I choose darkness rather than the light . Maybe I am getting my punishment right now . Maybe I don’t existe anymore . Maybe I am dead now . Maybe I am getting punishment again. Maybe it’s only my thaughts that gonna to kill me . But is there anyone in this world can tell me why I can’t cry? Why I am like this? I just want answers because my thoughts are going to kill me . I want to kill more than anything .    
“Even The Candles Crying.”