Hate

Guess what sort of day it is?

"There are some days I really don't like you and others where I hate the ground you tread on; care to guess what today is?"

"Tuesday!"

"This is the reason why I hate you."

"Thanksgiving?"

"Remind me to put cyanide in your coffee tomorrow."

"But you said you were going to use arsenic!"

"Just get out of my room! You're going to wake Michelle up, and then I have to explain to her why Mitt Romney is in footsie pajamas and on top of our nightstand."

"These are not footsie pajamas! They're one-of-a-kind, custom-made, full-body warm underwear!"

"Get out! Now!"

"Barack, who are you talking to?"

"Son of a Mitt..."