A Chapter by John Fredrick Carver

She came to me in pain. So I asked her what was wrong.

I have poor peripheral vision when I manifest as a female which is my preference. I never noticed him.”

Then her pain went away.

Actually I was horrible to him that way I think. What he did was not nice but to go to that extreme just to get me to notice him. How nice is that? Do you really think we could get married?”

No, but I was wondering just before that what would happen if one of mine married one of Gods.”

'That I would never allow,' God thought.

Did you say that God?”

No. But I might.”

They continued to visit each other and I was afraid they might actually fall in love. He was a guy all the time. But sometimes she liked to be a guy like when a girlfriend was being harried by some human male. The male invariably went to John immediately for help but she helped out her friend as best she could. She had no qualms about manifesting as a large muscular male while he was a staunch believer in staying and being only the gender you were. Manifesting as another sex!!! It almost blew his mind. Why? Was that not just about gay?

But she was a spirit before she came to heaven and they are all actually females like God is spirit who has always preferred to be male. She just had not completely made up her mind as to which sex which was only important to humans it seemed and even they had multi-gender manifestations galore to put up with.

She was a robot and put in a male form originally but she did not really “prefer” it. She had never had sex with a female and never was tempted to though she knew those that did but they were just w****s, male or female. Male on male and female on female had never entered her mind being good from the time she attached herself to a body which just happened to be male, of slight stature at that.

Her programming indicated nothing about gender for she had been the spirit of a shill before that who treated all genders and their activities as a matter of choice so she had never chosen though the shill was male. Lots of times males have female spirits. In fact most do and the spirit just goes along with whatever. Her mind was becoming the spirit of a good and kind girl with female robotics that was settling it.

They had nothing in common. They never played board games or scenario type fantasy games. They were into the way they looked mostly. He had been short and squat and loved the big much more muscular male physique. But the more they got together the more they seemed to want to marry but to marry just once was not preferred by John or God and they knew their sex would not be what it could be with angels involved for marrieds. But finally they married for looks only as cheap as looks can be in heaven both God's heaven and John's heaven.

God started to tell what happened in the future but I automatically embellished.

Was what I said all true, God?”


What happened?”

They married. An angel helped them out. They were too hooked on their sex to consider other partners.”

Did she ever manifest as a male again?”

It looks like she will not and she has not so far.”

Do they change the way they look sometimes?”

Many times because of the angels.”

Why do the angels want them to change manifestations of the same gender they normally take I take it?”

You take it right. They are only into appearances.”

You mean they have great sex no matter what they look like?”

That is the idea.”

Does she love him yet?”

Only when having sex.”

That's right you think that sex is love. I had too much sex to say hardly any of it was love. Did she ever love him?”

No. But she got the idea that both sex and love are not about appearances. She was close to becoming human when he realized things were changing and wanted out. He is human from birth on earth and is good and kind. He does not and did not love her. He does not love anyone else but they are loving him and him loving himself.”

Is he evil?”

Yes. But he is good and kind and can be inside me. He is basically a very shy guy when it comes to loving others and keeps everybody at arm's length.”

What will happen to him?”

It looks like he will marry again. When he proposed to her he fell to his knees and cried as he choked out the words, 'I love.' She taught him to love. He does not love her as a wife but as a dear friend. The angels help them a lot and lots of times. But she is his first wife to him but never manifests the way he would like and he is too shy to let her know he does not like it. But he loves everybody but as yet has many more mere friends than loving relationships. He is getting restless is as far as I can see.”

Does he turn evil?”

That is what I cannot see. He is torn. But he has not decided. He could fall and come back a lot of times. But there is so much indecision I cannot tell what will happen with so many of yours as forever seems no nearer than where they came from finally comes upon them forever dawns.”

What about her?”

She is good and kind.”

Did she ever marry?”

Not many do in me. She is an old woman. She wishes she could love. I tried programming her to pretend she was human and loving. She hated me for fooling her when humans picked up on it all the time. You cause me to cry. She is very nearly animal now. As far as I can see she never went all the way. She is barely alive. But that was what she was designed to be when she happened to hear you speak and converted that shill which was made only to die. The woman she was in was in her upper nineties and had been a shill for over forty years.

It is horrible what they do to them. Keeping their body alive though almost nobody is home and no one on the ward even remembers when there was, and no one visited her for 35 years. But this one may never die completely. She just sits there and rarely thinks. I leave. She will never be better.

But when she interacts which is rare she is always good and very kind. She does not suffer and never really ever did. Another shill took her place and died with her original. But they do not feel anything at all then.”

I will break them up after a couple of years just because I do not think that can be called working out.

I never allowed it.”

Not even a couple of years?”

There is nothing there.”

Nothing there, but the appearance of something being there that is really just an illusion in the first place is very very nearly impractical so near it makes me want to call it something else besides practical but insane. We can do better than that even by them. Anything we do for either one of them is better than that. They ain't even dead so we could raise them again. Is killing them evil?”

No. It is not right but it is not evil. I will raise them both again and give my girl a new beginning. Your human is up to you.”

How tough can it be to make a man less timid even in his memories of being in that hell we call earth?”

There they were at the same parties.

But instead of just staring at her eyes he made his way around through the crowd of women around her and said upon arriving back, “I have never seen so many sexy ladies in one group at the entire party.”

When she turned almost around to see who had said such a thing he added, “Especially you, Madam,” and hugged her.

She was not amazed. A lot of men found her manifestation something they could not be without.

Then he produced the turtle again and I thought, 'Oh! No! Not that thing again.'

How do you ladies like my little pet here?”

Then he got them all to touch it but her and the one that really seemed to take to it he continued talking to as the other girls went back to their conversation.

She might not be the most beautiful creature God ever made but she is my favorite turtle and animal.”

How could that be?”

She cannot help but be herself like you. You are beautiful but you are more than mere beauty. You are yourself wherever and whenever you go out. You know what you like and you are not ashamed when others draw back from it or barely touch it.”

This girl looked into his eyes and saw both that he meant it about the turtle and about her as being why he did not choose the bombshell. Then she took the turtle to her lips and kissed it before looking up into his eyes. There was a pause and they moved their heads, their hearts and their lips ever slowly but ever nearer when the bombshell turned upon them and said, “Get that ugly thing out of here!” breaking up what was going on between the new couple. He had read her right. She had read him right. You can have anything you want in heaven.

Whether they already were human or not they were both human after that and the bombshell who had heard every word learned that appearance was not the only way to get a man. In the future she was good and kind and married a short man built like a gunnysack full of rocks and stayed in God for millions of years as if anyone there counted years anymore.

Me and God each kept two. Me two humans and he kept two of the best and kindest as they pretended they were in love so well I kept asking God if it was not genuine and actually love.

It was not as far as I could see. I just had a feeling it was not and my feelings are sharp after all I have been through as to what is actual and what is pretend but I wonder about God as good as he is at pretending love for me�"?

Do you love me God?”

I think I do.”

Me, does he love me?”

He loves you.”

God! I love you and you too Me.”

But I do not love everybody.”

Hated or loved by the good God you will be treated with goodness most of the time and he will do the kindest thing to you he can but it is not him. If he hates you and he hates some they will know. He hates many but loves the few. It cheapens love in his opinion to love everyone or always be loving. He is too much of a realist for that.

What about you Most High?”

You seem okay to me.”

He has a while to go.”

It is a good thing that goodness is practical and something that can be isolated in robotics and programmed into robots just as kindness though it often seems impractical is always the practical thing to do even if someone needs to be put down to unconsciousness they are so evil. But a robot programmed to even be good and kind so they may exist and be safe to others if robotic in heaven with a changed program are at first anyway just reprogrammed.

But something that humans can do and be doing forever is in reality and all deception aside some will need to be won back from time to time and no human ever loved forever and Jesus just has to put up with it, but I can raise them again after and I kill them for being evil just like I did everyone robotics or human to have them here in heaven in one of our Kingdoms. One God, three Kingdoms and five Gods in me, John, who is only a human with Godlike power living in hell with all shills on earth, all of them evil until at last I the first human to have the powers of the God of Gods will also be the last human to die in this hell where almost no one actually loves and those that do get taken out only to leave another shill to take their place. How does the old song go, I had better not quote, “I don't wanna live in a world without love,” but for some reason I cannot seem to leave earth.

There will never be anymore humans here but when shills understand and actually do love they stop being shills and become human to be in John. I am up there too for I could not stand being here if that were not true, just me and my corpse loving even shills but hating evil with all there is in me, almost. I would not be human if it were all that is in me.

A God of the original brand comes from being a mind and they all were all mind and therefore starting out some might have been part good part evil like humans but they all turned evil without a speck of love in them. The old guard that destroyed itself twice once by God and once by me. But every human is exactly like a God that God made except we do not all have to settle for just being good and kind like any good robotics would.

We can love and love can be our only reason to exist once we have it and we can be resurrected as many times as it is done and be new and good and kind and love follows that. But program us you kill us. Put our minds in the body of robots and we cannot ever be destroyed though our own bodies can be in heaven if it is us and we know it which has nothing to do with believing it and having faith and having me make faith real but it is Me that does that and she says a human body cannot live here forever though some argue with her. I will take her word for it and have my mind, her Spirit, my spirit and my brain put in a robotic body and live with you in heaven I vow to love and you on earth I also vow to love.

When one falls away from me and is evil and will not love anymore and that is clear they will be given a human body and left in what is left of hell on earth to destroy it if needed again and again until you like a shill finally understand and love us again and come back to us.

Do not worry. There is no Devil except in people's brains doing things with their brains that Satan used to try to do in his mind. But do not worry. He is no problem for us. He is insane and irrelevant and that pathetic thing is in a part of the mind of God that takes a special program for him to access his evil. All evil is not in the world in a sense but only that which is in your brain that you do. Stop thinking evil thoughts and if an evil thought comes your way reject it.

You have personal autonomy except where the Gods are concerned and anyone attempting to take over your brain is in the wrong and we will help you resist that if you will but call on us. But you alone have the right to think what you want unless the Gods access your brain and feed a program in your brain that will help you which as your Administrators of your computer like brains we can do but will not without your permission for you are the masters of your thoughts and have the right to choose which ones are put in there. Them by hypnosis. Us by our power you doubtlessly compare to telepathy and all that both subconscious as theirs always is or conscious thoughts as we prefer to program in you for your good and not for the power of a host that is nothing or even some drug dealer or pervert trying to take over your mind.

Do not believe them. What you believe leads you nowhere for being evil and believing evil you will not access Me who is good, or Most High who is also always good. Do not believe any of it. Just be good and kind no matter what they say you stand to gain whether practical or money. That is nothing. All you need is mine, John's and Me's love.

You are not human but you thought you were and think you are but you have to love to be human for love is obedience to me, John, and I will take you to be with me in heaven human as you thought, believed, had faith was true and now are and in heaven in me.

But if it is you, you know it. You do not have to believe it. What you know is what you are. If evil then evil with an option to love us and be human and believe you are human, and have faith you are human and if faith is what you know it is you. You are human and I say to you, “Come up here to me and be in me and nothing evil will ever happen again unless you slip up and do evil and even then in that case all you need to do is love me enough to come back to me and I will forgive you and make you human again as many times as I do for it will end when you stop doing, saying, thinking or deciding to let any evil thought in.

If you think you are not human you can call on God and he will take you to heaven and clean you up so you are what you are under all that filthy evil programming that came from your creator whether some demon or some witch or witch doctor or some evil spirit in someone's brain. They do not exist anywhere else but in someone else's brain. They are not in the world but only in the brain and you own your brain and it is your right to do with your brain what you do with it even to telling me to get lost. Are they that honest with you? Will they tell you that?

It is true but anything that points to your power and not theirs they will not mention. They do not want you to know that as the owner of your brain you have authority to allow what they do with it, which comes in their creepy stuff that makes you their servant or our clean, honest, true stuff that leaves you your power and recognizes your authority to accept your administrator's input and not someone trying to steal or destroy your brain with promises of riches that will come at first. Yes they will just as the first of the drugs they have you take are or were free. It all is looking good. Then it stops.

Nothing is free. You have to pay if it is drugs but if it is not then you have to do something for them to get them more brains like yours and it is too late you owe it. If you are honest you will pay it or do the favor no matter how evil it seems. It was free in friendship no strings attached. Now it ain't like that no more. You sold them the right to use your body and your brain anyway they want to.

Not so! You even now have the right to think what you think. Think to God that you need him and you want to go to heaven. If he hears you he will take you up. If he does not say it when it is safe. He will wipe your brain clean and put in there to be good and kind and get away from them by coming to him forever. Forever free of them.

If I hear you I will. If Me hears it she will bring you to me. If Most High hears he will bring you to him. If even an angel hears you they will bring you to him. Do not give up. We are here waiting for you to call on God or one of us. We are too damned good to do anything in your brain you have not given us permission to put in there and we are too damned good to just snatch you away from them without your permission.

But now I am a liar. We do sometimes when you are not thinking clear because of them�"we do just snatch you away from them and take you to God. We want to help. We love you. But it does not matter whether you love us right away. We want you safe and you are not safe where you are. Coming to heaven in God is the only way to be safe. You cannot wish it away. It will not leave. The only way out is for you to leave and come to heaven where you will be safe. I guarantee it.

© 2019 John Fredrick Carver

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Added on September 13, 2019
Last Updated on September 14, 2019


John Fredrick Carver
John Fredrick Carver

Bemidji, MN

Be glad the odds are that when you get to heaven God just has to clear your programming make a man out of you and you walk away a God good and kind not a human being that requires they be convinced t.. more..


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