Chapter Four

It was finally the weekend! May be I could make it up to my parents for what I did the other night. All the trouble of stressing and pain I put them through. I got out of bed and brushed my teeth with my Colgate toothbrush and toothpaste. I went into the living room and sat next to my mom. My dad wasn’t present, so it kind of made it easier to talk to her, “ Mom, I’m sorry. You know I talked to dad yesterday and he told me that he used to be like me. Go out and party all the time, have his parents wondering all the time.”

“ I know. You know, Renee`, I love you so much. You’re the only kid we have and if you do something stupid, such as drinking and driving, you’re gone just like that,” she snapped her fingers, to show how fast I could be deleted from her life, “ Then I won’t have my little girl no more.”

“ Mom, you’re not going to lose me.”

“ You don’t know that, until it actually happens.”

“ Stop talking like that.”

“It could happen. It happens all the time.”

“I know mom, but I’m not going to drink and drive, so don’t worry.”

“Okay. I guess I won’t,” I reached for her and gave her a reassuring hug, “ Mom, could we do something today? You know may be go hiking, something? Anything?”

“How about we have a cookout? Invite the family, do some catching up with everyone?”

“I believe that would be better.”

“ Yeah, may be you could go to the store and get some groceries with me?”

“ I think I should.”

“ Okay, go get some shoes on, honey,” she patted my leg.

“Alright.” I went up to my room and got ready to go.     

   

    “Mom, are you scared for me?” I asked her.

“What do you mean?”

“ I mean like are you scared that I’m going to mess up my life?”

“ Well, when you do certain things. Especially that stunt that you pulled the other night. I thought someone kidnapped you or worse.”

“ Mom, did you do the same things that dad did?” I was curious of course. I wanted to know both of their stories of their teenage lives. If it was the same as mine or worse. May be they could be stories I can learn from.

“Actually yes. I did a lot of terrible things. And I’ve paid too. That’s the worse part.”

“ Like what?”

“I’m not really ready to give you the details on that, Renee`. I mean you may look at me in a different way,” she said.

“ Okay fine, I guess that’s a good deal.”

“So tell me,” I begged.

“ I sold my body on the streets a lot. My parents didn’t even know about it. Not one time did I get caught doing it, either. Then of course, when you get into sex, it’s kind of like drugs follow right behind you.”

“ All the time? Like did you did you do this all the time?”

“Yes. So, now you have to tell me what you did,” she said. This was definitely going to be hard. I don’t how to bring it about. So, I just spit it out, sooner or later she had to know, “ I went to the biggest s***s house. She’s know as a big s**t at school. Well, I lost my virginity there that night,” Thank the good Lord we were stopped at a stoplight and that I was buckled up tight in my seat belt. She pressed on the brake so hard and I was glad I fastened in the seat. “You lost your virginity?” she yelled. May be this was a bad idea to share with her, “Yeah I slept with this guy.” 

“Oh’ Renee`, why?”

“Because I was drunk and I didn’t know better. I wasn’t really thinking. I mean I was wanting to satisfy him and do what would make him remember me, you know?”

“Did you use protection?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“Well, I guess that’s all the really matters, but still Renee`, you shouldn’t have lost your virginity to a guy that you weren’t married to. A guy that you didn’t even know.”

“I know. So, know you’re mad now, huh?” I asked. I wouldn’t doubt that she was.

“ No, I’m just disappointed. Renee`, I didn’t think that you would make sex apart of your life anytime soon. As a mother, it’s scary, because many things can happen. You could get pregnant or get a disease that you can’t get rid of,” she replied.

“I’m sorry, mom,” I apologized. From there it was nothing, but silence in the car. It was that awkward silence, where all you can hear is the voices and thoughts in your head, thinking about the conversation that just happened.

     We got back home and I noticed that my dad was there. I walked in to hear him in his office. I stood in front of him, with my arms crossed, “So, we’re going to have a cookout with the whole family. Mom wants to know if you can get the grill going?” I asked. He put the papers that he was working on and he placed them in a file folder. “Okay great.”

   I left his office and went back into the kitchen with my mom. One thing I would love to do ever since I was little girl, I would love to hang out in the kitchen with my mother. It was just comforting to me. I pulled out my phone and I found Kaley’s number in my contacts. Once, we started texting, she informed me that she was going to go to the club. You know I was really wondering about this statement from her. I mean how is she going to enter the club when she’s only seventeen? When I looked back at my phone, she asked me if I wanted to go too. As I was waiting on her text back, I took a glance back at my mother, and watched her just take a slice out of every piece of the head of lettuce. She looked so relieved about how I made the decision of changing my actions. I told my dad that I was planning on changing as well. I just can’t go behind their backs and do what I would like to do. Yeah, I really can’t go behind their backs to go to the club where I’m not supposed to be at all.I had some time to think about this, so I texted her back with my final answer.

       We ended up having most of our family over. I didn't expect to have that many people there. I mean half of our family barely even talks to us anymore, but they thought the same thing about the whole reason why we were wanting to have this whole get together in the first place. We all needed to see each other and catch up with each other’s lives. It was great to see everyone, though. I wouldn’t mind doing this, what, every month or so? The worst part of it all, was having to clean it all up. Having to pick up everyone’s mess, but that’s what happens when you host the party, right?

     It was pretty late, until I got myself into the bed. I took back out my phone to text Kaley back. She was busy being a you know what at the club. She told me that she’ll talk to me tomorrow, so that gave me a gateway to rest.

     The weekend flew by pretty quick. The school week was starting again. I know it’s never going to end, especially if you live in America. It’s a requirement. So, since I had to go to school today, that meant that I had to serve another day in, in school suspension. But whatever! If Kaley is in there I’m sure that it wouldn’t be that bad. I got company. May be we could discuss the whole club situation. I know it would be the wrong thing to do, since I told my parents one thing and I’m going to go behind their backs and do another. But it’s a club. There’s a first time for everything, right?

     I walked into Ms. Brown’s room and made my way to my assigned desk. I was pretty glad to see her seated in a desk next to mine. She looked a little hungover or a little drowsy, from last night. I gave her a smile. in acknowledgment. As I was getting myself situated in my seat, I saw a piece of white folded up paper out of the corner of my eye. I took it and read it. She explained about how much fun she had last night and I wrote down, that I had agreed to go with her tonight, to the club. Trust me, I feel bad for letting my parents down, but I believe this would be fun and I would promise myself that this would only be a one time thing, not something that would turn into a habit.

     The day actually flew by pretty quick. Well, it started to go by fast, until the end of the day. I was walking to my car and I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and I saw Drew. He had a huge, sparkling smile on his face. “Oh’ hey! What’s up?” I asked.

“You know, I just wanted to tell you that I enjoyed the other night. Quite a treat to be your first,” he said.

“ You know that was a mistake. I was drunk and I didn’t know better. You know how alcohol works. I want you to know that I don’t like you like that, okay? We can just be friends and no not friends with benefits,” I explained.

“I understand.”

“ Okay, well I gotta go now.”

“Alright, bye.” I got into my car, forgetting what just happened or at least tried to. I called Kaley, after I put my seatbelt on. I was wondering if she left. May be we could actually talk and not through text or paper and pencil. “Hello?” she answered.

“ Hey, you still here?”

“ Yeah, why?”

“ I was thinking we could talk.”

“ Alright. Are you in the parking lot?”

“ Yeah. I’m parked by the gym.”

“Alright, be there in a sec.”

“Okay, bye.”

“Bye.”

      It was about three minutes, until she came to my car. She got in the passenger side and we just started talking, “So, do I have to have like a card or something?” I asked.

“No, girl. My friend is one of the bouncers there. He’ll let you in.”

“Oh’ okay. So, you are you going to be meeting me there or what?” I asked.

“Do you know where it’s at?” she wondered.

“No, but you could tell me,” I offered.

“It’s off of Stanley Avenue.”

“ Oh’, I know where that’s at. Yeah. Okay, so what time?”

“ Say about seven?”

“ Alright, better get going,” I started my engine and she got out of the car.

“ Yeah, bye,” she said, while waving bye.

    I ran into my room and started getting ready. Then I heard a knock on my door. I started looking around for my robe. I hurried up and put it on to cover what I was wearing. “Hold on, I’m coming!” I said on my side of the door.

“It’s your mom.”

“Okay.” I hurried and ran to the door and opened it. My mom had a confused look on her face,

” What are you doing?” she asked.

“Nothing, why? You need me for something?”

“No. I was just coming to check on you. Do you have homework?”

“Nope. No homework tonight. Homework free night.”

“That’s good.”

“ Yeah,” this was a awkward conversation.

“Alright, well dinner will be done in a few minutes.”

“ Mom, do you think that I could go with Jammy and Siarrah to eat?”

“I guess so.”

 “Okay, thanks. Love you,” I said, while giving her a hug.

“What time will you be back?”

“May be around ten. Is that okay? I don’t know, we might go see a movie too.”

“ Okay. Ten is good.”

“Okay.”

After that, she walked out of the room. Relieved. Even though I totally lied to her. And I feel kind of bad for it too. I guess I’ll never learn my lesson. Ever!