Chapter Nine

  I got home to find my mom and there before me. I mean I wasn't really all that surprised or anything, because that's an everyday thing, you know? I feel like as soon as I walk in, they're going to start running their mouths about everything. From the baby to school to the color of my baby's daddy. I snuck in the door to see if I could get an earful of what they were talking about. I stood behind the wall, that was separating the kitchen from the living room, " I know, Steve. She's not going to listen," my mom said to my father. 

"It's just the fact that he's black is all that bothers me!" my father yelled. One thing I couldn't stand is racism, especially if it's in my own home. I hated it! I can't stand it! I wish it never existed! We're all the same. It doesn't matter about the color. God made us all the same here. So treat each other the same! We all live on the same piece of land, so guess what? We should all treat each other the same.

 "I know. But we have to support her through this. Like the guy, Steve! I'm sure you would like him. He might even be a pretty nice guy. You never know, until you give him some time to prove it." 

"I'll give him some room, but something just gives me a bad feeling about this. I don't know why or what it is, you know?"

 " Honey, it's just a parent thing. I mean we better just get use to him, because he's going to be living with us for about a year and our daughter needs our support," my mom explained, " I mean what do you think she would say or react to what you just said? I know this, she wouldn't be happy. Just think." They had no idea what I've been doing this whole time, now do they? I came out from behind the wall and dropped my stuff on the floor next to the couch. I went and sat by my mother, "Now, since that I'm pregnant and I'm learning how to be responsible, I'm going to handle this like a grown woman. Yes, I've heard everything you just said. You want to know how I feel about that? Do you really? I mean it would honestly take hours. I feel like you really just don't give two craps, do you? Yeah.," I said nodding and looking deep into my father's eyes, "You don't give a crap about me, my baby, of what I've heard, Darrius. And you know what I think? I think you should pull your head out your you know what and start to learn how to deal with the fact, that yes he is black, but you know what? He's just like you, me, mom. We're all the same here. I could go on and on with this subject, but you're really not worth my time. Just know that colors don't mean anything. In my eyes they're just coloring and painting. That's all they're there for. Not to judge. So, don't take that road of thinking, because it's not going to get you anywhere with me." 

" That's not what he meant," my mom said to his defense. 

"That's exactly what he meant. Exactly. Nothing else. He doesn't like him, because he's black. He thinks he's one of those thugs that walk around here with his pants to his knees and chains around their necks. I'm going to be honest and dad you may not want to hear this, so if I were you, I would cover my little ears. I like those kinds of guys. Even though they may sell drugs, smoke up weed, drink alcohol, and all that, you know what? Inside they really do have a loving heart, but sometimes they just have to do what they have to do. It's called a game and they have to do whatever they can to stay alive in this game. But what I do know is that he used to be like that when I met him, but he's not like that anymore, because I've changed him. You should be proud and if you're not, than you should be ashamed of yourself." 

"I'm sorry, honey. I'll try to get to know him and may be me and him could get to be great friends, somehow. You never know. I'll try. I promise," he said, while getting up from the couch and reached to me for a hug.

 "Thank you," I said back. Then I reached over and gave my mom a hug, " I didn't leave you out.," I said to her, while laugh after laugh came out my mouth.

 "I didn't think you would," she replied.

     As my mom was getting dinner ready, I heard the doorbell ring and I rushed to answer it, figuring who it was already. My boo. I opened the door to see him standing there with a beautiful bouquet of flowers. Red and pink. Two of my favorite colors. As I turned around, my dad was standing over my shoulder, witnessing it all. He even gave Darrius a smile, "Well come on in, Darrius. It's cold out there," he said to him. He took his coat for him and hung it on the coat hanger that was holding all the others. 

" Thank you," Darrius replied.

"More than welcome," I loved this. This connection with my father and Darrius. I mean sooner or later they'll need to learn to get along. And I definitely like sooner, because I don't think I can handle that. I lead him into the kitchen and told my mom he was here. She turned around from where she was standing in place at the stove and made her way around the bar to greet Darrius, " How have you been? Are you going to stay for dinner? You have to try my famous chicken casserole!," she exclaimed. She threw her arm around his shoulder. He looked down at her," I would love to," he said with a beautiful smile.

"Okay, well let me go back on over there and finish it up, alright?"

"Yes ma'm."

      I lead him back out of the kitchen and into my room. I was wanting to discuss things with him about today. Why he was acting so strange. Why he got angry like he did. Just thoughts and questions ran through my head all day long, it was pretty hard for me to focus in my afternoon classes, really. He came and sat himself by me on the bed. He grabbed my pink throw pillow and held onto it and he ran his fingers through the fuzzies that were all over it, " So, what do you want to talk about? I mean you wouldn't have come back here for a reason, right?" he questioned. He looked up at me and and then he looked back down at the pillow, playing with it again.

"Well, I just want to know why you were being so controlling, I mean I guess that's what it's called, unless you have a better name for it."

"I wasn't. I was just wanting to eat lunch with you. That's all."

" Are you sure it was just that? Nothing else?" I was seeing if may be I could pull the real truth out of him.

"Nope, I swear," he said.

"Okay, well when I got home I was kind of ear hustling on my parents conversation. They were talking about you and me. As always."

" Oh' Lord, this better be good," he added in.

"Yeah it is. Well, anyways they were talking about your race," he threw the pillow across the room and it jolted me from my thoughts pretty quick. I got up from the bed and grabbed onto him, before he thought about doing something stupid. I put my head on his muscular chest, " Darrius baby. Stop! What's wrong? Baby, please talk to me," I looked up into his beautiful dark black eyes and ran my fingers across his jawline, "Baby, please. I don't like this side of you, honey. Please tell me what's wrong," I said calmly.

"I just knew this was going to happen. I just knew it! You're white. I'm black. It's just not going to work out. Ever!" Those words cut me deep and left me bleeding in pain. I feel like my heart just broke into millions of pieces. I thought those words would never come out of his mouth. I thought he was stronger than this. I thought he was invincible! I thought he would be able to handle this. If he knew it was coming, that is, but I guess some thoughts stay thoughts for a reason. I placed my loving hands on his shoulders and easily sat him down the bed. I sat on his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck, " Listen baby, you can do this, okay? You're stronger than you think, babe. I love you," that was something that I really did mean, "You want to know what I said after I told them I heard them voice their opinions?" he nodded, "I said that color doesn't mean a thing. That colors are just meant to make beautiful pictures. They're for coloring and painting. They're not to judge. You're not a color," I said, while running my hands on his head and back down to his jaw line. I left my hands on his cheeks, 

" You're a beautiful person, that deserves to be treated just like everyone else. That deserves to be loved like everyone else, because point blank is that you're a human too. We're in this together, babe. Don't get mad, please. It won't help you or this situation,' I kept stroking his face and I saw a tear fall from his eyes. I took my finger and wiped it away and kissed it in the place it fell from, "We can do this, baby. Me and you. We're a team and we're going to win whatever battles we receive." I placed my lips on his and felt the love in his kiss. A love that he has never felt before.

      My mom broke our kiss apart, as I heard a knock on the door from her. I separated from his lips and I could tell that he shredded a couple more tears from his eyes, "Babe you look so beautiful when you cry," I said laughing and wiping them away once again.

 "It's time to eat," my mother said on the other side of the door. 

"Thank you," I yelled, so that she could hear me through the wood. I got up from Darrius's lap and gave his chest a light pat, "We can do this," I reassured him. Then we took each others hands and headed down to the dining room to eat.

     As we were eating and enjoying my mother's famous chicken casserole, my dad was wanting to strike up a conversation with Darrius, " So Darrius, tell us a little bit about yourself. You know your job, interests, you know those kinds of things," my dad said. Darrius looked up from his plate and took a drink of the cold ice tea, so he could swallow down his bite, " Well, sir, I do believe I'm just like every other man out there. Sit around and play video games, eat, and not once in my life, have I touched a bottle of cleaner," he joked. I looked up at my father, to see his face change from interesting to him wanting to jump across the table to slap him, " Oh, sir, I was just kidding with you. I'm not like any other man. Or young boy. I have a job," before he could get the last part out, my dad jumped down Darrius's throat to ask him what it is that he spends his time focusing on, "So, son, what is it that you focus on?" he asked.

"Well, I teach young boys and men how to cut and design hair," my dad didn't look to disappointed. He actually looked impressed, "That sounds like fun. Is it?"

" Yes, sir. I enjoy every bit of it."

"Now, tell us, what  interests you have," my dad commanded.

"I like to play sports."

" Which ones do you enjoy most?"

" Basketball and football pretty much. I used to be on a basketball team when I was in college." "Which college was that, son?" my dad said, before taking a bite.

"Baylor University. Very good team. Very proud to say I'm a graduate from there."

"You should. But why are you here, then?"

" Well, after I graduated, I decided to move away from there. Start off somewhere new. Fresh start, I would say."

" What kind of music do you like?" my dad asked, switching the subject.

" Oh' definitely rap and hip hop and don't forget gospel."

" Oh' okay," thank goodness that's all my dad had to say about that. I thought that conversation was never going to end and I thought Darrius would never get to finish his meal. But it did, after twenty minutes they started it.

      After I finished helping my mother clean up the kitchen and the mess we made, I headed to the bathroom, because I was feeling very nauseated. So, of course I threw up all my meal. From there, I felt terrible and sick and just having the feeling of wanting to die. I heard knock on the door, "Who is it?" I said.

"Darrius, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just doing what every pregnant woman does."

     He walked into the bathroom and kneeled down next to me and this was a terrible time for him to see me like this. The next lump came up in my throat, he grabbed my hair back and there it all went. I can't believe that he was in there with me, caring for me. I hated feeling this way! "Where's the washcloths?" he asked. I pointed to the wall cabinet that was above the toilet. He reached for one as I was finishing up, and soaked it with cold water and then he rung out all the extra water. He came and sat down on the floor and he pushed me back to him, to where I was sitting in between his legs. He gently wiped my face with the cloth. He pushed my hair out of the way and gently loved me. I looked up to him and gave him a warm kiss. "Do you love me?" I asked.

"I've never loved someone like this before. Baby, I love feeling this way about you," he said, while stroking my hair. Running his hands through my hair. 

"Babe, really?"

" Yes." I got up from the floor and helped him up. I gave him a hug and gave him a warm kiss.

      When we exited out of the bathroom, we walked into the living room and took our place out on the couch. I wanted to talk to my parents. I wanted them to know how I feel. I wanted them to know everything. I'm growing up and I feel as though it's time. Time to grow up and be a woman. I want to tell them my plans that I have laid and ready to live out, " So, mom and dad, I was just wanting to talk to you guys and let you know what my plans are for the future. If you don't mind listening," they looked at me, like I was telling that I had killed someone, "Okay honey. What are these plans that you have for you and your soon to be family?" my mom asked.

"Well, after we live with you guys for may be a year or so, we're going to get our own apartment or house, you know? Just for starts. I really don't want anything big at first. Then head on from there," I was also wanting to get married in the future. To have a beautiful rock on my finger, shining from my hand. But right now, I don't believe that's something I'm going to throw that out there especially with my parents just sitting across from me.

"Renee', Darrius, while you're both sitting here, I want to talk to both of you, while I can. I know I'm the father and this is what fathers do, but what I have to say is important. Darrius, I know that you may think that me and my wife might not like you, because you're black. When I first saw you, I didn't like you, because of just that. I'm sorry. But now, son, I love you! You're like family now, okay? So, don't you act like we're strangers towards each other anymore. If you have anything to talk to me about, come and see me. I have no problem with talking, son," he said, while having that serious tone in his voice.

"I appreciate that, sir," Darrius said back.

"You're welcome. You know anything. Just let me know. I'll be glad to help."

I could tell my mom wanted to be part of the conversation, part of the moment.But really she didn't have a problem with that, because she made sure she got her voice heard, "Darrius, Darrius, Darrius. I like you. You're a nice gentlemen. You know I remember Renee' bringing boys home just so we could meet them, so they could hurry on there way to their little date. And you know what? Not a single one of them took care of her, like you take care of her," I looked over at my dad, who was nodding in agreement, " I remember this one boy that she brought by and when they left,her father and I were standing out on the porch, watching them leave. She stood by the car and started to act like she was waiting for him to open the door for her, but you know what? He never did. He just walked over to his side and got in. Can you believe that? What a jerk! I was about to tell Renee' that she should just give up on trying to find a guy that has respect for a girl, but I'm glad you came along, even though it wasn't the right way. But God works His plans in strange ways, huh?"

"You guys are really nice people! I appreciate everything you're doing for me. I grew up in the projects selling drugs, doing drugs, and go out to the club every night, to find some girl to bring back home. And when I met this beautiful, sweet girl, that ya'll made, I knew right then and there, us meeting wasn't just a meeting. She's the reason that made me think twice of why I'm alive and well. God had a plan for me the whole time and living my life off of drugs, wasn't the way. And I was wasting my time. God had a girl on hold for me all along. A girl just for me. And she's sitting right next to me. I'm blessed to have all of you in my life. Thank you," Darrius said. I could see a tear stretch down his face. I reached over and grabbed his hand and started holding on to it, for dear life. All the words that flew out of his mouth, were making my heart glow with his love and they make me want to love him harder than ever! Truth, is I didn't think he had feelings like that!

   The night ended up being a great one! Darrius told me his thoughts and feelings, I believe we accomplished a lot all in one night! I couldn't wait to get a hold of him the next time that we're alone!