Chapter Thirteen

 It's been about three months, since we've moved into this glorious house. It's all beautiful now! All decorated up. All the right pictures in the right places. Everything is in it's place. It definitely doesn't look like someone hoards boxes, anymore. Cleaned and organized. Just like I wanted it to be in the first place.

     The holidays have finally arrived! It is Christmas! If I may conclude that, this is my favorite time of the year! Usually when it was this time of the year, we would invite everyone over to our house, to celebrate with us. A family gathering, I would say. But the thing about this year, is that I don't know if we'll even have it here or not. One, no one really knows where Arkansas is, am I right? Two, wonder if they would all travel down here just for the holiday? Hopefully, we will, so I went to go hunt my mother down in this big house and ask her about it. I mean, I was really curious.

     I spotted her in the kitchen, cleaning down the granite counter tops from the dinner that we just had. I sat at the breakfast table and began to ask a million questions about the holidays, "Mom, are we having everybody here?" I asked.

" For what?"

"For the holidays. For Christmas."

" I don't know," she placed the rag on the counter, " I guess I haven't really thought about that, yet. Just been so focused on this house, honey. Still so much to take in all at one time. I mean, the only last resort is to call everyone and ask."

" What are we going to be doing?" I asked.

" If we have everyone here?"

"Yeah."

"Well, what we do every year."

"Oh' okay. Can I have some friends over?"

"What!"

"Yeah. Can I have some friends over? It's that clear. Would you like me to yell it?" I said, with a hint of attitude in my voice.

"Stop that attitude, Renee'!" my mom exclaimed.

"I'm asking you a question and you're not answering me."

"Honestly Renee', I don't know. I don't like the friends you hang out with at this school," she stepped out from behind the counter and stood in front of me, with her arms crossed over her chest, " I like the friends you had at the other school. I bet you those friends that you're talking about, they have their own families to be with for the holidays."

"So, you're saying that I can't even have a little party for my friends? A Christmas party?"

"I don't know. We'll see."

   

      I walked out of the kitchen with my old attitude running through my system. I don't know what it is, but ever since I've attended this new school, my mom has been nothing but a you know what! She's not letting me do whatever I want! I remember at my last school, she was always letting me do whatever I wanted to do. Well, that's how it seemed. Now, she's acting like she cares about my behavior and attitude all of a sudden.

    

      My school life here is very simple. The thing about it is that everyone seems to be rude. Not so friendly like my last school. But sometimes a wave of politeness seems to fly over them, and they show their niceness towards me. May be a bipolar effect! Or may be it's just that certain person that you come across. You know I really just miss my Cali friends, but there's no way I can see them. I can't lie, I miss Darrius, but for some reason, I guess I just got lazy enough to quit talking to him.

      There's this new guy that I'm with now. His name is Caleb. Very attractive, I may say. Okay, may be sexy! He's not your normal jock, either. He knows how to treat his girl, just right. He's not cocky either. I don't know, I believe that he's perfect. In my life, Darrius is just long gone, out of my life. I know that might sound bad, considering all the hell that me and him have been through, all the feelings that we've built up for each other. It's all vanished to me. It's all gone. Poof, magic! Gone! He doesn't even pass through my mind, he's just gone. It seems better that way, instead of always having to worry about him and where his feelings are with me and our long distance relationship.

       I was laying in bed, with my head up in the clouds and thinking about you know, stuff. The stuff us teenager girls think about. Boys, love, school, drama, school, and all the other things that we got going for ourselves. One thing I was thinking about was if I was ever going to see Darrius again in my life. May be. I guess that would be fate bringing us together, right? I don't know why I should be thinking that, because as good looking as he is, he probably already has another girl wrapped around his finger, like he had me at one time. Buying her anything she wants, giving her anything and everything she wants. I hate the thought of it, because I'm jealous. Thinking about him brings the feelings back ,but there's no way it's going to happen. I have Caleb and I really can't have a long distance relationship.

        I hear my phone starting to ring. I bet it's one of my anxious friends, wanting to talk to me, about some drama that they heard about.When I picked it up, off my cheetah print bedspread, I read the caller I.D. It was Darrius. My finger was hesitant to press the talk button. Butterflies started flying around in my stomach, going crazy. I felt like I was going to puke. So, I just answered it, because at the same time, I was wanting to know what he had to say, " Hello?" I asked, with fear in my voice.

"Hey, I haven't talked to you in awhile. How are you?" he asked.

"Good. Why are you calling me?"

" You don't want to talk to me?"

"Yeah, I mean it's been quite awhile since you've called or texted me, you know?"

"Fine, then, I'll just hang up."

"No, no, no. We can talk."

" Good, because that's why I called you," he said. I can't even imagine what this was going to be about. I could feel my phone trying to slip out of my hand, because my hand started forming sweat. That's how nervous and scared I was of talking to him.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"Us."

"You know Darrius, I can't."

"What do you mean, you can't?"

"I can't.," I repeated.

"Can't? Why not?"

"Because I'm...I'm...I'm taken," I stammered.

There was a long pause, and I could hear Darrius take a deep breathe in, trying to relax himself. "You're taken?"

"Yeah."

"What do you mean?"

"I have a boyfriend."

"What!" he yelled through the phone.

"Are you mad?"

"No, why would I be?" Really I knew he was mad. Jealous, would probably be a better word for it. "Because we had something."

" Okay. Well, that was like three or four months ago."

" So."

" So, is all you have to say? You..you don't care, do you?"

"Get to the freakin' point, Darrius."

"I'm trying to say that I want you back in my life. I really do. We had too much to just throw it away."

"Do you not get that I'm all the way down here in Arkansas and you're in California? There's no way that we can be together," I pointed out.

"Yes, we can. Phones, planes, and cars. Renee', come on! Yes we can!"
"No," then I ended the call on him. There's just no way. I like the guy that I'm with and I don't need Darrius. He needs to get it through his thick head and move on!

       The next day, I got stuck cleaning up this big house, which of course took forever! Plus, it's the most lamest thing to do on a Saturday! I mean who wants to clean on a Saturday? I have better things to be doing. Really. Like sitting on the couch, being a couch potato, still in my Christmas PJ's, sipping on a hot mug of hot chocolate, watching Christmas movies. Not in my life, have I done such thing. Just kidding.

        As I was sweeping the kitchen, my phone was sticking out of my back pocket, so that tempted me to check it for any new unread messages. There was on from Caleb. I started reading it, and I swear my heart sunk down all the way to my stomach. It was literally swimming in my stomach. Me and Caleb had something and it didn't take having a baby, either. There was something that made me and Caleb one. We just clicked, but in a different way than me and Darrius.

      The rest of the day I was pretty much a sour puss. I didn't want anyone talking to me or better yet touching me. I know, it sounds more like I'm on my period, but hey when you get your heart broken like that, then you mise well be! I hated the world at the time! I knew one guy that was will be there for me, so I called him, " Darrius, my boyfriend broke up with me," I said, once he answered the phone.

" I'm sorry."

"That's all you have to say? I took to defense.

"Yeah. I mean what do you want me to say? Was I supposed to like the guy? He took my love! I'm not going to be like your little girlfriends and talk about it with you. The only thing I will talk to you about is me and you and how I can get the only thing that really mattered to me, back in my life. Enjoying every second of it," he said. I could tell there was tears forming in his eyes, because his voice was starting to become scratchy in a way.

"I want to hear that you care. That you want to come and hold me. To come and kiss me."

" I do. I really do, Renee'."

"But you can't!" I wailed through the phone.

"Well, no duh. That's impossible at the moment."

" I know that. Darrius I miss you. You know, I've been trying so hard to not think about you and what we had. I won't lie, I never really thought about you for a bit, but as me and Caleb began to get closer with our relationship, I don't know, I just kept comparing it with what we had. I want you back, babe." 

"I know, goodnight Renee'."

"Goodnight, Darrius," I hung up the phone and went to bed.

As I was laying in bed, laying on my side, I saw my my phone lite up, while hooked on the charger. It was a message from Darrius:

Darrius: All I want for Christmas is to have you with me.

Renee': Awww...babe goodnight

Darrius: Goodnight.

The message was so sweet and I couldn't even quite thinking about what he texted me. I was smiling, until I closed my eyes shut.