Touch of the Beast

Celestine longs for the feel of Djinn and seeks to find him through using whatever power she can find.

"17 Davenport Road, Vredeshoek - huh, the 'peaceful corner' in Africaans. I think I know that place. She seems to really want me. Not bad looking, not bad at all.....what did she say her name was now? Kaaren? Christie? No, it wasn't, Celestine....Duncan - yes, that's the one."

Mark Smit drove through the streets of Cape Town loosely following a map but being pretty sure of his destination. He recalled the beautiful mountainous backdrop that surrounded the Vredeshoek area. The Devils Peak climbed high into the darkened sky usually covered in swirling mists but still always seemed to be keeping an eye on what was happening in the houses below. As Mark's mind wandered he missed the turning into the road, cursed and span the car around.

The day was still hot, despite turning to dusk and he had taken the opportunity to wear as little as possible so he would be ready for 'action'. Mark Smit thought himself a ladies man, had befriended many although had never actually managed to find one who wanted his body. Always he spent his money on meals and flowers before finding he was just not the right type for the girl he so desired. Celestine had been different. She had spotted him and made a move that had given him little option. Even when she had whispered hot messages in his ear and he had to tell her of his virginity, this didn't provoke a bad reaction. He even got the feeling that she was a touch turned on by this.

He parked his car as she had told him a few metres away from the buildings. Moving towards the small secure complex of townhouses he was spotted almost immediately by a security guard who was sweating in his heavy clothing. This guard thought he had seen everything having been in the business for a number of years, working nights when the worst of humanity were in the streets. Mark's t-shirt and light pants seemed to induce a feeling of jealousy in the guard who took a dislike to him as soon as he spoke.

"I'm here to see Celestine Duncan she's at number 17, can you let her know I'm here?"

With a look of contempt the guard went to his little security hut and phoned through to her. Within the next few seconds the gates into the townhouse block were opened and the guard waved an arm to tell him to go through. As he looked at the numbers of the buildings he felt as though he was being watched although he wasn't sure if that was by the residents or from the Devils Peak. He relaxed or at least tried to as he spotted her number.

The door was open and he moved inside. He was sure he heard a child crying then a door slam before being conscious of steps down a staircase and the appearence of Celestine. She looked more beautiful than he remembered and he thought that she too was dressed for one reason - to remove her clothing quickly and be ready for him. At least that was what he hoped.

"Hi hun," she said to him before placing a kiss on cheek, moving slowly away from his face as though to encourage him to pull her back onto his lips. Mark felt nervous and Celestine instead ushered him into the lounge and asked if he would like a drink. She had some red wine that always had a touch of seduction and brought in two glasses from the kitchen setting them down on a coffee table.

"Take a seat, er, Mark isn't it?" Celestine questioned

Mark was looking at the room. The oak wood colouring gave a feel of morbidness and the dark carpet seemed to pull him into it. The darkened curtains were almost pulled shut probably to keep out the heat and he did feel a chill, almost a cool feeling in the air. Turning towards Celestine he wanted to say something but nothing would come. Instead he sat down on a chair picking the wine up as he went.


Celestine waited until Mark began to drink the wine then let herself indulge in a glass. At first as he sipped the liquid he coughed and spluttered. The taste was blood. Mark's head began to spin, feeling himself look around and around, the room was closing in on him faster than he could breathe. During this time the one constant in front of his face was the woman who seemed to be dripping the wine over herself, covering her breasts in red. Hands helped him up the stairs, his feet gripping air and the next moment he was in a room, on a bed, she was naked on top of him. He passed out realising the dripping wine had been his blood.

"I have my a virgin to satisfy the cravings of darkness and spirits within me. Let me see my master again......" she spoke into the room.

The child had begun to cry as he heard his mother crash and bang in the room adjacent to his. Demons arrived before the his eyes ripping him through the walls of the room taking him on a journey into his mothers mind, leaving him feeling her hatred of the world as she abused her victim lying below her. Hearing her shout 'WHY?' he broke free of the dark ones and hid under the bed in tears covered in bruises. He also wondered the same question as his mother and why he was being subjected to this.

Mark could no longer feel his groin area when he regained his full strength. The woman, and he didn't even want to speak her name, began chanting around an array of knives in the centre of the room. Slowly his hands felt around himself and the centre of this body. This was wet with something, a combination of his fluids mixed with 'hers'? He wasn't sure and brought his fingers up to his nose finding the most nauseating smell of the beast's sex mixed with his own semen.

As Celestine became engaged in another world, Mark found a chance to break free. His clothes were thrown around the floor thankfully within range of the bed. Quietly and slowly he dressed, finally sneaking on his shoes. He felt unclean and sick. Building up strength he moved towards the door. Mark heard her insane voice wrapped around others in chants of destruction, disorder and chaos. He wondered where all these sounds were coming from, then noticed the room next to hers. Although the night had entered the house now Mark was still able to see his way around. A key was inserted in the lock. Mark could hear a whimpering noise that he thought could be a small child but he was too scared to turn that key. What would he find?

Before he had chance to think further he heard a low growling noise coming from where he had escaped. Now there appeared to be lights flashing. Mark had to escape before she saw him or something else did. He was too late as a bolt of pure evil hit him entering through his skull with lightning speed.

"I must get away. I must get away", Mark kept repeating this thoughts as he plummeted down the staircase throwing open the front door that slammed back behind him. Looking back at the house he thought he saw a thousand eyes stare back. Almost breaking into a run and falling onto the gates he managed to sweat out a 'I must get away from here' to the security guard. The guard laughed at him thinking he had just had too much of a good thing. As Mark ran down the road thought, the guard began to wonder what had gone on and penciled in his diary about house number 17.

No-one had been all that familiar with the woman who had moved in. She seemed alone with a job or wanting one. Money seemed to pour from somewhere or someone to keep her living in such an exclusive property. The guard had never questioned about this. He was nearing the end of his night-time shift and concluded that he was employed to look after the comings and goings of the residents, not about their life and lifestyles. There was something bothering him though. Maybe he would discuss this with Joan Liebenberg. She was a kindly old soul that lived at number 19 and kept a dossier on the residents although not official, just for gossip.

Mark's car sped away leaving tyre marks on the roadway. The noise broke the evenings silence and brought a smell of exhaust fumes into the warm night air. The car sped as far away as possible from that so-called 'peaceful corner' as it could, eventually stopping at the waterfront. There he got out and felt his stomach start to retch. Zombie-like he fell unsteadily along the sands through old ashes of fires, not caring where he was going. There seemed to be something following him as he moved. Eventually he fell to the sand and the sickness started. As his body spewed out all it's contents through tear stained eyes he saw creatures move forward eating his gut wrenching puke. He waved a hand to try to clear them, suddenly a vision came upon him. An angel appeared looking down.

"You have engaged in adultplay with the woman of the beast? Your soul is no-more. Would you like redemption?"

Mark looked closely at the angel who offered to save him. The beauty of the creature was so out of keeping with the evening he had suffered.

"Please, help me", he said.

The angel lost its wings and the brightness of white, laughed, turning into a one horned firey beast. Falling from the skies upon Mark he banished him from the earth. The body lay for a few more hours being ripped apart by the hungry demons leaving only clothes and a few chewed bones as Mark's legacy to his existence. Now he too burnt in hell and waited for Celestines next victim.

"There are no angels here," Djinn casually reflected on what he was unleashing upon the earth.

Reviews

[Raef C. Boylan]

The passage where you talk about what's happening to Jonathon stands out a bit because the rest of the chapter is told from Mark's perspective. He doesn't know what's going on in Celestine's head so neither do we, so why do we know what's going on for "the child"? I suggest that you either tell us only the things that Mark can tell, e.g. that Jonathon starts crying, or use the scope of being an outside narrator to give us a more 3-D look at the whole scene.

The end is very effective: a glimpse of salvation, whisked brutally away from him.

I couldn't get into it very much. The descriptions were a bit stilted or brief in places, so I wasn't visualising things very well.
It could just be me though.

Typos/queries:
"The angel lost it's wings" [its]

"Mark's t-shirt and light pants seemed to enduce a feeling of jealousy" [induce]

"entering through his skull with lightening speed." [lightning?]

"he managed to sweat out a 'let me out' to the security guard" ['sweat out'? interesting way to describe it - like a slow leak? shame that 'sweat out' and 'me out' are so close together, two outs]

"There he got out and felt his stomach start to wretch" [retch?]

"His clothes...and slowly he put them finally" [put them on, finally?]

Thanks for sharing this chapter.

[Nick Erickson]

Whether she knows it or not, Celesting desire to fill her "emptiness" with any man she can to once again connect with Djinn is giving him exactly what he wants - souls.

The characters, even the young boy are continually growing and developing, giving us more insight to their being.

Another well written chapter in keeping with the mood and imagery already in place - dark.

Well done!!

[These Haunted Hallways]

I agree with Rain on this one, too. A very good, yet frightening chapter with twisted sexual implications lol. Soul for dinner? lol. And what a way for a guy to lose his virginity, too lol. Well, i shall save mine for an angel instead lol. Good job with this one.

B.A.

[Nicole (Carpe Diem)]

fantastic chapter... cannot wait to read more of this story...

[Fantasyfairy]

The few changes you have made definitely help make a difference here. I'm really glad I was able to help you. I'm going to read the next chapter now, lol. Xx

[Fantasyfairy]

Really great chapter. I like where this is going. The description is really well done, and the character's personality is really beginning to shine through. The way she has changed from beng a sweet person, to this beast, is amazing. This story is moving along nicely. There a few things I noticed and I have lsted them below with some advice. You don't have to take any of it because I am certainly no expert at writing. But it is there if you like it. XX

"The day beginning to turn to dusk now was still hot and he had taken the opportunity.." Maybe it is just me, but this sentence doesn't seem to work very well. Maybe something like, (The day was still hot, despite it turning to dusk and he had taken the opportunity...)

"Always he spent money on meals and flowers before finding he was just not the right type for the girl he so desired" This is another one thaat doesn't quite sit right, maybe a reversal of it may work better? (He always spent his money on meals and flowers...)
" before being conscious of a steps down a staircase and the appearence of " (of a steps?) steps?)

"Celestine waited until Mark began to drink the wine then let herself indulge in a glass. At first as he sipped the liquid he coughed and spluttered. The taste was like blood. Mark's head began to spin, feeling himself look around and around, the room was closing in on him faster than he could breathe." I'm not sure about this, surely it would take a few mnutes for any drug to work on the system, needing to hit the blood first? It just seems a little strange that it worked so quickly. Maybe that is the story, but it just seems to bug me. Perhaps that is just me, I'm a little annoying like that sometimes, sorry.

"He passed out as he realised that the dripping wine had been his blood." Where did the blood come from? Did he have cuts, or something? It doesn't say he is injured, or where.

[George Love]

Some good parts, some not so good. Work on a consisitent tone through the work.

[The Tao of Bri]

YES! I see the character's fleshing out now.. not just in the descripers which are good, but I really like how you do it with the dialogue.. dialgoue is perhaps the hardest in a story and most often overlooked means to describe and make the characters come to life... My point of view anyways...which is why I love Tarentino so much as his movies are filled with such cool, though often elaborate dialogue! GREAT SERIES HERE!

[Raef C. Boylan]

Re: the Jonathon passage; it still seems strange, as this chapter is like Mark's experience [that's how it reads: he is our protagonist, just as Celestine and Jonathon have been our protagonists previously. Mark doesn't know Jonathon's name and he can't see what's going on in Jonathon's room, nor does he have access to Jonathon's thoughts].
Maybe put the old version of it back [I liked how it was written], but in italics or something, so the reader sees that you are jumping from Mark's perspective to Jonathon's and back?

[Dead Angel]

i have a question, was celestine beating on the Mark or Johnathon? that part kind of confused me. other than that i loved this continuation. Celestine was so pure and sweet and know she's a soul stealing, crazy person. i really like how you guys are writing this story, i can't wait to see how it ends. great job and bring on the next part!!!!! :)