Silly Youth

Happy birthday.

 

I could stop time

with this blade;

 

twenty years,

three hundred

and sixty four days,

twenty three hours

and thirty three minutes

would come gushing out,

 

glide up history’s half-pipe

and spatter on the

universal clock.

 

Its relentless hands, halted,

would jitter

in congealed matter,

like the nervous

tapping of pen

upon table

 

[an electrified tar-baby],

 

never to complete a lap again.

 

But...I would probably be found out.

 

They would stitch me back together,

lace my mind with sanity,

 

and wipe the clock face clean.

 

Author's Note

Is there enough of a pause between "lap again" and "But"?
Let me know what you think of this poem. Thanks.

Reviews

[Jennifer Welker]

stunning.
stop writing such perfection!
my blood turned icy upon reading this and i was immediately propelled into relating personally. i'd never thought of suicide with such definitive end. your use of years/weeks/days/hours/minutes
offers a perspective people (beyond just the silly youth) take for granted with tossing around such grave intentions.
i loved it and i think this write should be distributed globally; it will save lives.

[Whisperer]

This poem is complete in itself. I have nothing to add (or to subtract either :-) )
The "Universal Clock" is a brilliant element in the poem. And you've maintainted it till then end with great elan.

"They would stitch me together,
lace my mind with sanity"

- This is the part I am somewhat doubtful about. Who are "They?" Are "they" people who you love or are you talking about some element of sanity inside you?

All in all, a very well written poem...

[Wulfstan Crumble]

Live fast, die young...take your own life? I'm watching a film called Stay. Apparently its about a man who plans to kill himself on his 21st birthday. This is simply a wonderful poem my friend. A real classic. I like the ending where you know you couldnt keep a secret or do it properly and people would treat you. "A Masterpiece."

[lostintheworld]

as though its easy to just wipe off someones life...


lace my mind with sanity- i love this line.

I really like this whole poem, although i'm hesitant to like it becuase of how it makes me feel about how you feel.... if that makes sense.
but brilliantly put togehter.

another great poem.

[Bubo]

Such powerful opening lines
that life could be so abruptly ended...........and all that time inside come out...........
I really feel you are a deep, classic writer, your style never fails to amaze me.
The need for escape, stop time and re start afresh............fab write.

[Chantal-lise Mirman]

An interesting assessment of your mortality...
On the one hand, a precise accounting of the time,
and your seeming power to stop the entire process, gum up the works, as it were...
stop Time itself, not just your own existence, but all existence:
A strangely positive slant on potential suicide.
On the other hand,
your complete powerlessness, your personal insecurity,
entwined with an optimistic reliance and confidence in others to make you whole,
to put things right and ensure a clear future:
An oddly negative slant on survival.
It is always interesting to juxtapose ideas we "know" to be opposite.
That is one of the best ways to invoke new insights!
I enjoyed your provocative poem and the unusual imagery.
This is going in my favorites!