Of Baja Bugs , a Birthday Cake and a Cat

of turning thirty

I used to have a Baja bug , a Volkswagen modified for Off-road use  . I bought it dirt cheap and resurrected it into my daily driver , saving my Camaro for more 'formal' occasions  . It got great mileage and I could actually take it off road , down those narrow dirt paths that slithered off into the Sierras .  

 

April 1986 , my Mum calls to say she made me cake for my birthday and I arrange to come by that night after work .   I end up working late and make it to Mum's after dark .  I gather my cake , exchange pleasantries and begin to head back home . I place my cake on the seat , fasten my four point seat belt and fired up that bad boy - and the Cat , who crawled through my sunroof and was ( key word - was ) sleeping in my back seat .

 

Time is strange . I can still see that cat ( large and male )  seemingly defy gravity as it was circling at must have been near light speed , bending light and space  in a manner worthy of Schrodingers own Kitty on the loose .

 

And panic , panic is horrible thing , really it is , Cat and I have two similar goals - to get the hell out of that Car !   I am trapped in my harness , while Cat is constantly reminded of the nature of glass .  I manage to finally escape , rolling out of seat onto grass , as Cat explodes from vehicle over me . I lay there - my Bug lumping away at idle - my heart beating through my chest , staring into a wonderful star-filled sky , my mind filled with the ageless question - What the f**k  ?!

 

As I stand , I begin to feel the pain - kitty done shredded me.  I am bleeding - badly  , my shoulder and forearms taking the brunt of his flailing claws .  I then look over to the passenger seat , and see a Birthday cake that now resembles one as if they used firecrackers for candles ...

 

I take the plate back into the house , Mum wearing the age old question now on her face . I have only One word - Cat , followed by silence while I cleaned my wounds . 

 

It was tough turning 30  ...

Reviews

[arbitrary jane]

the ageless question, indeed... i'm 100% sure it's the one aristotle woke up with every freaking day. not to mention Pliny, and Julius Caesar. For dear Albert, it was the same thing, dressed in German breeches.
i was grinning through the entire narrative.
and i was going to ask what became of the cat, but that was when i realized i couldn't care less. :)

[Leslie S]

wonderful vignette. I have a cat who sucumbs to gravity-defying fits of madness with far less justification than this one had. Tying it to the general strangeness of turning thirty works for me.

[Brad]

bahahahahahahaha! oh, shyte, brothah...never look at birthdays the same

[Jūdan FyreHeart]

This was brilliant! The humour in it was spot on, great job =D

[Ariel B.]

"Kitty done shredded me" - so familiar! You're rather a good storyteller - the pacing on this piece is very nicely timed. I imagine it would be rather excellent read out loud. And you're so right - "What the f**k" is totally the ageless question!

[Lilly Negoi]

poor bug...

[paul]

great story telling. some excellent lines