2. Innocent Bystanders

Our favorite little family gets caught up in the adventure.

Jonathon was leaning against his car with his arms crossed. Becka stood next to him as they waited for Stefanie to come out of the golf cart rental office. “Where've you been?” he asked with just a touch of annoyance, “We've been waiting for you.”

“I was side-tracked by something interesting on the way back,” she answered.

He furrowed his brow. “What was it?”

“Well,” she began, “I came across a minor accident scene. There was a young woman on the ground - sitting up - with an older man tending to her injured leg. There was a little girl with them and a couple of other people standing around watching. I almost drove right by until I heard the woman complaining about being run down by another woman on a bike. She was fit to be tied, believe me! So I stopped and feigned concern. I asked what the woman on the bike looked like and they described her. She was none other than the one that gave us the slip. They said she just got back on her bike and took off. I asked which way she went and they both pointed. I took off in that direction, but I didn't find any trace of her.”

Jonathon looked thoughtful. “Hmm... sounds like she's on the run. Something spooked her.”

“I told you she's on to us,” said Stefanie with an air of satisfaction.

“Impossible!” retorted Becka, “Unless you were careless. She certainly didn't detect me.”

“Knock it off, you two!” said Jonathon impatiently, “Actually, I think you're both right. She knows someone's after her, but it's not us. There are others who want that memory card that she's carrying. Somebody else probably spooked her. I sure would like to know who else is after her.”

Just then, something drew Stefanie's attention and she turned her head. “Heads up, you guys,” she muttered under her breath, “Here comes the woman she ran into.” She nodded toward a woman approaching them. She was accompanied by a man and a little girl.

The first one that Jonathon noticed as the three of them walked by was the woman. She was hard to miss. She was in her late twenties, dressed in a black tank top and shorts with short, black uncombed hair and rings in her nose and lower lip and several more in each ear. He admired her lean, athletic body but it was her tattoos that caught his attention. Among the several that decorated her body was a large, copper colored snake that entwined itself down her right arm from shoulder to wrist. Green hornets swarmed down her left arm from a nest on her other shoulder. Her face was heavily made up for a day at the beach.

The man with her was around Jonathon's age. He was dressed in blue shorts and a red t-shirt. He, too, was lean and fit and Jonathon assumed that the couple probably worked-out together (he quickly deduced that they were a couple and not father and daughter by the way they interacted and by their matching wedding bands).

Along with the man and woman was a little girl of approximately ten or eleven years of age. She had pretty, long blonde hair and thick eyeglasses.

The woman was ranting angrily as the little family walked by on their way to their car. “This is why I don't like to come to places like this! Some jerk always ruins it for me!” She was walking with a slight limp.

“C'mon, Bittersweet,” the man replied, “It was an accident. She said she was sorry.”

“Accident my a*s! She ran into me on purpose!!” Jonathon furrowed his brow as he listened. He reached into his car, pulled out a camera and began to surreptitiously take pictures of them. The woman continued her rant, “And then she didn't even wait to see if I was okay! She took off like Marley's ghost was after her!”

The man nodded as they reached their car. “She did seem to be in a bit of a hurry. Almost like someone was chasing her.”

“C'mon, Emily,” said the woman impatiently as she held the door open for the little girl, “Get in. We have a three hour drive ahead of us!” As the little girl climbed into the back seat, Jonathon noticed the woman take something small out of her pocket and examine it carefully. He continued snapping pictures. Then she shrugged and put the object back into her pocket. She got into the car and it drove away.

“Why all the interest in those people?” asked Becka, “Do you think they're involved?”

Jonathon shook his head thoughtfully. “No... at least not directly. I just had a hunch. Just covering all bases. It's probably nothing.” He watched the car until it was no longer in sight. “Come on,” he said, Let's get back to the hotel and call it a day. We'll figure out our next move in the morning.”

Author's Note

I feel like there are some clumsy sentences here and there in this chapter. Let me know if you agree.

As always, suggestions and constructive criticisms are welcome.

Reviews

[SpeedyHobbit Armstrong]

The plot thickens... more is learned to indicate that the woman being chased (Chrissy?) is aware of someone onto her and pursuing her. By the way, you're quite good at discussing what characters look like so I can conjure up an image of them in my mind. I'd like to see more thoughts from the protagonists, though.

[Craig2591]

Chrissy is not the one being chased. Chrissy is the one with the tattoos that they observed walking by (and she's the mother of the little girl). The one being chased ran into Chrissy with her bicicle.

Thanks for the review.

[SpeedyHobbit Armstrong]

Ahhh sorry, will reread to keep them straight (=

[Craig2591]

I think you picked up Chrissy's name in the comments. I have written about her and her husband and daughter before and some of the other reader comments mentioned that. I think that's what caused your confusion.

[C. Rose]

I felt like Stefanie gave too much detail about her side errand. If she is reporting to her teammates (imo) skip the parts about the child and the injured man and get to the point sooner. Same thing goes for her saying 'they both pointed". No need to show so much within dialogue - unless that is Stephanie's personality. I wouldn't know yet.

I like the manageable size of your chapters. Not awkwardly short, and not discouragingly long.

On the one hand it makes sense for the strangers involved to be so accurately described, but it also made the minimal descriptions of the main characters stand out.

I can't tell who the main character is. From the last chapter I assumed it was Stephanie, but now Jonathan has chunks of POV.

[C. Rose]

Oh, and I like "Bittersweet" as a nickname.

[Craig2591]

Thank you. I admit that this chapter is a bit awkward. I've never felt really satisfied with it. As you may have seen in my notes, the first chapter is from a dream I had. I finally decided to continue the story. The tattooed woman and her husband and daughter are characters from some other stories that I have written. I decided to bring them into this story, but I think I could have done it in a better way.

[John Lauterbach]

I like the cameo - though I felt more action coming from Chrissy than I have from the agents so far. Even without me having read your work with them, she popped more than these new characters have. I feel like these new characters need more development in order to compete with Chrissy and Ian, if they're going to be a part of the story.

[Craig2591]

Thanks for the comments and suggestions.

[Tina Kline]

Good chapter. I also like how you slipped Ian, Chrissy and Emily into the story. Maybe they'll have a bigger part. I'm glad you decided to continue this story.

[Craig2591]

Yes, they will definitely have a bigger part in this story. The next chapter hints at just how big.

[Nienor Niniel]

You are continuing this, great! The inclusion of Ian, Chrissy, and Emily is brilliant. Is this merely a cameo appearance, or are they in this story for the long haul?

[Craig2591]

They will play a very major role in this story. Thanks for reviewing.