Stuck part 2 (chapter 8 of The Guardian Angel)

"Wow! That's tough. Which one do you like better?" Yuli asked shocked.

 

"Well, I like Alex because of his looks and the way he treats me. It's the same for Jesus too." Alex was hispanic. He was taller than Jesus, but they were both the same age.

 

"I'd go with Jesus because he said nicer stuff to you, you actually know him better, he lives where you live, and he cares about you more."

 

"I think I should go with Jesus. How do I tell Alex?"

 

"Well, I'll tell him for you."

 

"Thanks for having my back."

 

"Your welcome. I gotta go."

 

"Ok." The phone hung up.

 

She decided to call Jamilett and tell her. Rhonda quickly dialed her number.

 

As the phone rang, Jamilett answered.

 

Rhonda told Jamilett everything. She said the same things that Yuli did.

 

Rhonda finally said bye.

 

It was already 10:00 p.m.

 

Rhonda turned on the TV and watched 2 episodes of George Lopez. Dakota was really jealous of Jesus and wish he was him. That's all he could think about.

 

It was 11:00 p.m. when a different show came on. It was called The Nanny. She finally turned the TV off at 11:30 and went to bed.

 

"My shift's over." Dakota said to himself.

 

He returned to the sky.

 

"Have a good time?" God asked.

 

"Yeah actually. It was a busy day. So much stuff happened."

 

"Good. Now go to bed."

 

"Ok."

 

Dakota sauntered to his bed. As he got in his bed, he was still thinking about Rhonda.

 

He couldn't sleep at all that night. Rhonda was stuck in his head like a song on the radio.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Rainbow Rider]

You have really come a long way in such a short time. This is a lovely piece of writting. I'll give you the one and only thing I see wrong first.

"He was taller than Jesus, but they both were the same age." This would read better if you switched the words 'Both and Were' around. "He was taller than Jesus, but they were both the same age."

Now the good news: "He couldn't sleep at all that night. Rhonda was stuck in his head like a song on the radio." This is a perfect closing line for the chapter. It's a perfect line for anywhere. It's just wonderful.

I'll be looking forward to reading more. Getting curious as to what will ahppen next, especially with Dakota.

On a side note: In your messages, try not to write in computer/text lingo. Writting normal long hand all the time will help you when it comes to writting your stories and poems. Okay. Bye for now.