Chapter 8: Among Friends

Chapter 8: Among Friends

Issak halted the carriage approximately a half-day's ride from Shenok Duhl. His mind fogged from lack of sleep he looked up into the deep blue sky. There was no moon, but the stars shined brightly. Creating a comforting light for the surrounding foliage. He sighed deeply, comforted by the stillness of the night that hung thickly in the air.

“Why have we stopped?” Issak turned his head slowly around. Merade sat behind him with a curious look on her face, her brown eyes staring directly into his own.

“It's nothing,” Issak replied hastily. “Just...”

“Just what?” Merade asked. “It's alright to talk about it. You're among friends.”

Issak sighed slowly. “Had things occurred differently we would be bitter enemies.”

“But they didn't,” Merade said soothingly. “You saved our lives you have no reason to be hated for such a deed.”

Issak shrugged. “How long have you been sitting behind me?” He asked, changing the subject.

“Awhile,” answered Merade. “You really don't pay attention much, do you?” She chuckled softly.

“I understand why you would take such a precaution,” Issak said sadly.

“I was out here to protect you, not Elenor thank you very much.” Merade said cooly.

Issak turned his head back around and snapped the reigns, calling the horses to action.

“However you are surly quite a dark character.” Merade commented. “You kill with such brutal efficiency for a man so young, you barely smile and only talk when someone talks to you. But you are young! Your life should be full of life, not death!

“And yet,” Issak interrupted. “Here I am, exactly what I shouldn't be.”

“She did not say that,” Tao said her rough figure climbing along the side of the carriage. “She merely wants to know how one such as yourself became what you are today. What is this terrible thing that haunts your mind? Do not say it is nothing we can see it in your eyes and actions.”

But what they did not see were the tears silently forming in the the corner of the very eyes Tao was talking about.

“I don't want to talk about it.” Issak choked.

“Are you alright?” Tao asked urgently. “Please tell us, we owe you our lives. We can help...”

“I don't think you can.” Issak interrupted. Awkward silence filled the still air only interupted by the slight squeak of the carriage wheels.

“I'll drive,” Tao said in a motherly tone. “You get some sleep alright?”

Issak stopped and traded places with Tao. He lay down on the hard wood on the top of the carriage and, with the night sky softly pressing in upon him, fell finally into a deep sleep.

***

Elenor's eyes were full of silent tears. The carriage was not soundproof and she had heard every work of what was spoken. The tears that fell from her eyes, brought forth by Issak's pain, strengthened her resolve to help him.

She did not yet know what her feelings for Issak were. But the tears that were softly running down her face gave her a hint. She would talk to her father in the morning to see how he felt.

“Until then,” she thought to herself as her eyes drifted shut. “Sleep well Issak.”

Author's Note

Another short chapter. The last section bothers me though it seems a little corny and unfocused. What do you think?

Reviews

[The dark story]

the title is very apt......it seems he has finally found some friends over here.who could read those depressing emotions in his eyes-...and there seems that the princess is coming on to him....anyway.but i really lked it......it really feels a bit disgusting to see him like this.being ignored well.not actually ignored but being hated for being a monster..nice work!!!!!.hope these friends will trust him too!!

[ewest1220]

I think you'll like where this ends up :) Thanks for reading once again I'm thrilled you're enjoying my work!

[Brandon Mathis]

i wouuld have to agree with icYLuVa

[ewest1220]

lol sounds good to me! Nice to hear from you Brandon!

[Brandon Mathis]

finally getting to my read requests

[ewest1220]

lol you and me both my friend

[Brandon Mathis]

im sure i sent you a bunch, lol

[gombeggar]

maybe explain mor to your audience...wut is Shenok Duhl...who are the characters? give them more inner thoughts...you have so much here that you are NOT sharing to your audience...a lot more to tell your readers

[ewest1220]

More inner thoughts... Actually that's a really good point and once again scenery is a weakness of mine. I'll read up on some Tolkien to refresh my memory on how it's done correctly. Thank you again for all your help I really appreciate it!

[gombeggar]

i see a lot of talent in your words...just gotta hone yer work...kinda like tuning a guitar...stick with it cuz u have a good foundation there already

[IcYLuVa]

This had my entire focus through all the chapters. Very nicely done. I loved how you introduced the characters. I'll admit, i was a bit confused a times, but it all came together very nicely. And I think the last section isn't corny, but too sudden.

[ewest1220]

Wow I'm really glad you enjoyed it. And the suddenness is a tough one to overcome. I'll have to brainstorm a bit to figure it out :) Thanks for reading!

[F.P. Chat]

I have not read any other part relating to this chapter so I cannot judge the plot but i find it well written. i don't agry with you about the last part being corny but i would change the repetition of the word tears 3 times in 3 lines. in general i like the way you describe scenes with poetic details.

[ewest1220]

Well I'll be lol didn't even realize I did that to tell you the truth. I'll figure out a fix for it. Either way thank you so much for reading I'm glad you enjoyed my work!

[FantasyLover24601]

I'm not so sure if "corny" is the right word to apply to the last section. But I do agree with "unfocused". It does seem like Elenor is falling in love with Issak pretty fast. Now, sometimes a sudden romance being added to a story can be done very well outside of fairy tales and romantic comedies. Like with Titanic. Sure, Jack and Rose being in love after only knowing each other for a couple of days isn't very realistic, but Kate and Leo had such amazing on screen chemistry that they made it work. And that is a very key part of a good romance plot or subplot. I'm not seeing any chemistry yet between Issak and Elenor, if you are planning on having them end up together. If you are going to build up their romance during the course of the story, then more power to you because the best romances I have read were focused on the characters becoming more mature and seeing the best in each other over time.

Going to get off my romantic plots soapbox and let you know what I think about the rest of the chapter. I actually enjoyed how you allowed Issak to show some vulnerability and that allowed some more depth to be added to the characters of Tao and Merade. I'm starting to see that certain characters are becoming more three-dimensional which will make me want to root for them!

[ewest1220]

Very true very true, I think I understand what you're saying there. And I really try to "humanize," Issak in the next few chapters so I'm glad that it seems to have been effective! Once again thank you so much for the very informative and helpful review!

[∠( ᐛ 」..]

I think this chapter is excellent and amazing.
Keep writing!
100/100

[ewest1220]

Thanks!

[Beck Louise]

I really like this chapter, and the last section is actually the best, in my opinion. This whole thing is coming along nicely, well done!:-)

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm really glad you enjoyed it!

[ewest1220]

Thanks! I'm really glad you liked it!

[Poison Ivy]

there's a great deal of thought and emotion put into this chapter i can tell. :)

[ewest1220]

Hopefully that's a good thing ;) lol thanks for reading I'm glad you liked it!

[Poison Ivy]

its always a good thing, no one likes dull emotionless writing

[ewest1220]

very true :)

[Yheela]

I'd change the "ok" in "It's ok to talk about it." to alright, or some other similar word. Too colloquial with just the "ok".
Here I go again - though you've said you'll go back later - some more descriptions, sights/smells etc. It fills the reader with even clearer images.
Brilliant, keep it coming! ^_^

[ewest1220]

I shall! And you have a great point actually I'll get right on it ^_^

[Yheela]

Yay! (^_^)/