Part One

Part One

A Chapter by Flame DM

He had seen many unbelievable things in the world, things that would place people straight to the happy farm tied up in straight jackets for the rest of their lives. He had seen things that would, and had, destroy a person physically and mentally. More, you could argue, than twenty people would see in a lifetime.

          But what he saw before him now might just win the prize of the oddest sight indeed. He stayed calm; the thing didn’t scare him or threaten his well being.

          It was just something that he thought didn’t exist.

          He’d expect to see Barney the dinosaur rocking it out loud on the stage with Insane Clown Posse more than what he saw right in front of him.

          What he saw was nothing but a girl who looked sixteen. She sat down looking quite placid even if she was shackled to an armchair. She had long silver hair. It wasn’t brittle hair, the type you see on old ladies when it turns silver. No, and it looked quite voluminous and healthy. It was just that it was silver and carried the appearance that she wore the stars on her skull. She was pale, her skin whiter than chalk or the teeth a dentist will hang up on the wall to lure unsuspecting victims to their office.

          The girl was a vampire, but that wasn’t the odd thing about her. If it had just been that, the vampire hunter wouldn’t be picturing Barney whamming hard core jams on a guitar up on an ICP stage to try and find a comparison to what he was looking at now.

          It was her eyes, those oddly different color eyes.

          It was the cross that dangled around her neck and didn’t burn her.

          It was the fact that she smiled at him even though garlic, holy water, and crosses lay all around her. She seemed to be basking in the glow of the stage lights he set up in the room that were pointed directly at her.

          He leaned back in his chair, his index finger and thumb massaging his chin as he began to ponder why the girl wasn’t recoiling, screaming, or showing any signs of pain. She was beginning to sizzle. It was a light little cloud, barely visible, that escaped her pores. But that was just about it.

          “You mind if we turn off the lights, Mr. Briggs?” She finally asked. It had been three hours. Three hours with those damn lights and she just started to sizzle, and her voice was too calm, almost like a child asking for a favor.

          No urgency.

          It brought goose bumps across his spine.

          “They didn’t seem to bother you before,” He said. “Why turn them off now?”

          “Well, I like them,” she smiled, her fangs poking out of her mouth. He noticed they weren’t huge and assumed she didn’t know they were visible. “But I can only stand them for awhile. I would have been bothered earlier but I had something to drink before I came here.”

          “Human?”

          She laughed. “I already told you I don’t drink that. Thought you’d get it when you saw this,” her hand caressed the golden cross.

          “Forgive me if I find it hard to believe there are such things as Catholic vampires,” his voice adding more sarcasm than he intended. He got up from his seat, his eyes never leaving the creature, and turned off the lights.

          He expected a sigh of relief, some sign of her showing she was hiding discomfort, but there was none. What he saw instead was one of her eyes producing a glowing affect which brought more shivers down his spine.

          He killed many of these hell creatures. They feared his name! Yet, he never saw anything like her. She was immune to usual vampire slaying techniques, which made her a bigger threat even if she came here on her own free will to prove otherwise.

          All it did was create bigger suspicions.

          “So have you decided what you’re going to do yet?” She asked as if she was asking what the weather was. Did she even realize she was tied up like some animal!?

          He took his seat sitting across from her again. If he could see Barney now instead of this vampire he would gladly take the opportunity. “I’ve heard the story about three times, but I’d like to hear your side before I make any decisions.

          “Why?” She frowned, “What Louie said pretty much sums it up, and I’m not a very good story teller, you’ll probably get bored and end up saying no.”

          He smiled. “I only know what the three saw, all this happened because you-”

          “Luna.”

          “Whoever!” he snapped agitated. “They all are from your race, came to our little town. Plus, it’d be interesting to hear it from a vampire’s perspective.”

          She sighed, that glowing gold eye of hers still keeping its horrid gaze on him. “Alright Mr. Briggs. You are the greatest hunter of all time. It makes sense for you to… well,” she lifted up her arms, “to go this far. I’d probably do the same if I was in your shoes; I’m just a monster, right? I guess I’ll start off with my usual routine when Luna decided to take the clan and move to another spot for feeding.”

          “Routine?” he raised a brow looking at her doubtfully.

          She nodded. “Well, you see, I would go around town entering any house that didn’t lock their doors right when our clan relocated to its new place. Luna would hold them off for a week to get everything settled and organized and I took that week to sneak out and scare people to lock their doors.”

          “So you would pretend to bite them…then just leave them alone?” He asked raising his brow again at her.

          The vampire nodded. “I’d give them a warning and leave. If they didn’t lock their doors after that I couldn’t do much for them afterwards. But I guess this whole thing started when Luna decided to move to your hometown, she figured she could stop the greatest hunter. You were gone too, doing whatever you were doing in the west-”

          “Which will remain a secret,” he cut her off, his body tensing for just a moment.

          “I snuck out,” she continued ignoring him, “and started doing what I knew best…

 

 

To be continued…




© 2008 Flame DM


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Featured Review

Wow I love Stella, one of the most amazing main characters in a story off Writers Cafe I've ever seen. She's strong, diligent and has a wonderful attitude about her situation.
Then there is Briggs. He's amazing too. I love how you made him sarcastic as hell, so far anyway. It really brought out what he stood for. He's got the personality a great vampire hunter should, a bad a*s. Doesn't give a s**t it seems for other vampires, yet Stella... well I'm sure you get what I mean... he seems fascinated by her. Which he should be! Another superb chapter... on to the next now, or maybe later!

Love,
Chloe

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Wow I love Stella, one of the most amazing main characters in a story off Writers Cafe I've ever seen. She's strong, diligent and has a wonderful attitude about her situation.
Then there is Briggs. He's amazing too. I love how you made him sarcastic as hell, so far anyway. It really brought out what he stood for. He's got the personality a great vampire hunter should, a bad a*s. Doesn't give a s**t it seems for other vampires, yet Stella... well I'm sure you get what I mean... he seems fascinated by her. Which he should be! Another superb chapter... on to the next now, or maybe later!

Love,
Chloe

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is a very well written piece, in that it kept me enticed and eager to find out more. It captures the imagination. I thoroughly enjoyed it. There is such a beautifully artistry to the piece. I intend to read more of your work in the near future.

Take Care,

Joanna Maharis

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Very unique and truly interesting. I'll read more. A few issues with syntax but overall nicely done...!

S

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

whoa totally cool

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is really excellent. The concept is pretty clever. An anomaly vampire. I have read more than a few vampire stories in this forum, but I have to say that this has potential. I haven't read past this first installment, but I will. I will tell you that I was confused when you brought in the name "Louie" and then it appears that the girl was correcting the name to Luna. I'm not sure if that's what is was meant to be. I had to read it twice. Possibly a sentence mixed in with the dialogue would would clear it up. I will keep reading as time permits. Also, I agree with Maximus. Write out ICP. They haven't had a good song in over a decade. They aren't exactly on peoples minds. Kidding, but I think it would play better than way. Nice work, Flame.


Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is really excellent. The concept is pretty clever. An anomaly vampire. I have read more than a few vampire stories in this forum, but I have to say that this has potential. I haven't read past this first installment, but I will. I will tell you that I was confused when you brought in the name "Louie" and then it appears that the girl was correcting the name to Luna. I'm not sure if that's what is was meant to be. I had to read it twice. Possibly a sentence mixed in with the dialogue would would clear it up. I will keep reading as time permits. Also, I agree with Maximus. Write out ICP. They haven't had a good song in over a decade. They aren't exactly on peoples minds. Kidding, but I think it would play better than way. Nice work, Flame.


Posted 11 Years Ago


wow that's a suspensful page turning intro great.

Posted 11 Years Ago


The girl was a vampire, but that wasn't the odd thing about her. If it had just been that, the vampire hunter wouldn't be picturing Barney whamming hard core jams on a guitar up on an ICP stage to try and find a comparison to what he was looking at now.

Most people don't know who ICP is so instead of the initials I would just spell it out. Even though you mentioned Insane Clown Posse before but think about the ones that are not Familiar with the initials.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

usaly storys loose my intrest every fast and that is why i dont read them.. but yours has keept mine and i will continue to read the whole thing.. awsome job..

Posted 11 Years Ago


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ATG
Interesting. I like the story so far. There were a few grammar errors, but nothing too major. Overall, it was well written. It was a great read. I can't wait to read more.

Posted 11 Years Ago



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Added on June 20, 2008
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Author

Flame DM
Flame DM

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About
Hey! Not sure what to really put in my about me, but I'm just gonna wing it, so everyone just bare with me. I don't really give out my real name, sorry, buuut that's just the way it is. You can know m.. more..

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Day One 12/15/09 Day One 12/15/09

A Chapter by Flame DM



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