My Story!!!

Just things which i feel important

I give value to the family. I being first in my family, my path was little rough to focus on studies and get job, so that i can help my siblings for them to get settled. I am from indian middle class where dowry is rampant still in those metropolitan cities too. We are three daughters to my parents, hardly my dad has any savings for our marriages to give as dowry, so they made us to focus on studies so that we settle in job so that atleast they dont ask money if we have job. 

So we worked hard, though we are average intelligent some how managed to get job and got married with little money and they didnt asked dowry. 

My married life ended up with divorce it was hardly 4 years, and it has been 7 years after divorce, living alone with my son. My X husband got married, he was also from middle class family worked hard to settle in job. I feel i didnt had married life, cant i dream of my married life, if i keep the reason for my divorce aside, why should i be alone, i think married life is a happy life if you have right partner. Do you think i didnt even enjoy my married life? my parents think you got married, have kid, and thats it and just take care of us now, why do you want to think of second wedding. For me personally i feel there should be life partner to lead life, how long you will be alone, family gives both happy and sorrow sometimes too, but it depends on you how well you manage. 

I had a heart break which i thought just be alone. Now i feel i should give one more chance to lead a better life if you good person in life. 

My parents feel they cant find a nice guy, but if i find right person, shouldnt i get married, I have not enjoyed being in family, i want to have a family. I know I am in 40s, but that is not tpo old age for me, people can still lead love life if you meet a lovable person. People just cant say now you are done so no marriage thats it. 

My grand mother, she is in 80s still worries about me, and she says to me get married and live happily. My siblings do care me and wants me to get married. 

But finding  that guy who knows all about me and can stretch his heart to love for life time, is that one guy who I am looking for. There are persons who are willing to marry me, but they dont have that much big heart to take care of me and can support my social responsibility. I just need that person who knows all about me and loves me unconditionally, hope he will come for me soon. I can just make my parents convinced to make our wedding. I have social responsibility which i feel this person would be right to fulfill that responsibility too, so I am just waiting for him. 

I just feel these are the thoughts which are making me to think now to decide on that person. Hope he founds me soon. 

Reviews

[M. J. Smith]

Never give up. He is out there, waiting. Your heart must guide you. Don't become so bound up in responsibilities that you forget the needs of your own heart.

[JessyJacob]

Ok, i will not. Feeling so, that he is waiting for me. May be you could guide me. Sure, thank you for the reply and it is deeply appreciated. i trust him.