Chapter 2

Governance

 

"Can you feel it child?" I heard him ask me in his gentle, soothing voice.  It was getting harder and harder to focus on his words, though I knew if I didn't things would only get worse for me.  I dug my hands, currently tied to the headboard, into the paneling on the wall.  I hardly had any nails left at all on the hand, but once I opened up a stub a shot of pain flew up my arm and cleared my mind.

I felt the side of my head go from a sharp tingle, to searing pain.  I screamed out, unable to contain it any longer.  I felt a gloved hand cover my mouth, stifling my cries before they could hit the open air.  My eyes were wide, nostrils flaring, as my body desperately tried to intake as much oxygen as possible.

"Fight it Brienne, you must fight it," he shouted to me, this time in French.  I was starting to get dizzy, knowing that soon I would be unconscious. 

Distantly I heard the door to the trailer open, and in the next moment two men and a woman, armed with crossbows, were pointing them towards Remy.  They looked from his form, to my own, and sputtered curses to each other.  They talked a bit more, not in English or French, so I couldn't understand them but their tone was clear.  The burning in my head was spreading to my face and I let out another garbled scream, the pain getting so intense that it came out more like a low moan.

"I can't keep it off," I managed to call out, getting scared.

"Remy, step away from her and you might be able to get out of this room alive," I heard the woman say in perfect French, she was staring at me and I at her.

"Father, please." I pleaded with him, smelling the flesh start to burn.  He was glancing wildly around the room like a cornered mouse.  He swung his gaze back to me, reaching out with his hand right over my heart, and I screamed out when I saw a bolt go through his chest.

I woke up sweating, legs so tangled in the sheets I could scarcely get myself untangled in time to rush to the bathroom.  I threw myself in front of the toilet and vomited up my late night snack.

"Brienne?" I heard JP call out from the doorjamb.

"I'm okay," I told him holding up a hand when he tried to approach.

"You should try those pills again," he suggested playing with his long brown hair that was sticking up in odd directions.  Even first thing in the morning it looked great.  Figures.

"I can never wake up when I take them, and I can't be tardy my first day," I said with a nervous laugh.  It was another reminder of the day I had to face.

"You want a ride to school?" he asked helping me up as I rose to stand.  My head swam and I had to brace myself on the sink ledge.  I turned on the faucet and washed my hands and face with ice cold water in an attempt to clear the haze.

"No, can you imagine what everyone would say about me if you dropped me off on the back of your bike?" I said teasingly, but fully knowing it was true.  I didn't know how I was going to explain JP as it was, and it wouldn’t make it any better riding in on the back of his motorcycle.

"I still think you should do the online thing, you were doing pretty well."  He seemed very nervous in the moment, he always fidgeting with his hair when he was feeling anxious about something.  I was surprised he brought it up, though the idea was not without merit.  I had been doing well, more like off the charts well, considering my unconventional schooling as a child.  My caseworker even made me take some of the tests over, convinced I had cheated the first time.

"Yes, but if I want to get into a good college it will look better if go to St. Michael's.  I have no history in traditional classes, I have no school record at all."  I saw a muscle jump in JP's jaw.  He felt protective of me, and not being there to stop what happened to my face still haunted him. I wasn't the only one who woke up with nightmares.

"So take the GED and go to college now, you can do the community college stuff for a while," he said, sounding a bit desperate.  I shook my head, wishing it could be that easy.

"This was your idea in the first place JP.  You were the one that called me in on this opportunity.  Plus, you want me to go from never having been to school, to enrolling in college?  Do you know how hard it is just to enroll in high school without so much as a birth certificate?  Without this step, I'm going to have hard time moving on to anything else."  I had begun to think it was impossible, without the help of the one social worker who gave a damn about me, I would have never been able to do this.

"I can't hustle my whole life J, I have to do better."  He gave me a slight nod, the worried expression still stuck in his eyes.

"I know, but that place is going to be tough for you."  He seemed like it was hard for him to say that to me, and I didn't take offense to it.  I knew it was going to be hard.

“I’ve had worse JP.”  After I said it I looked up and faced the mirror, taking the time I did every morning to inspect my new face.  Even after three years I still had a hard time recognizing myself, so much had changed.

  The left side, from just behind my ear, up around my temple, and across the half of my eye socket, was one giant burned scar.  My left eye, unlike my right, was a light blue rather than my natural brown.  I looked like one of those husky dogs with different colored eyes.  I ran my finger over my now uneven hairline, tracing the large square of affected area.  If I splayed out my hand, it would be just about the size of it.  I shook my curly blonde hair out of its bun and then dipped to replace it once again.  

"I think that last graft worked well, the scarring looks lighter," JP said as he came up behind me.  I nodded, knowing it really did look better than it had been before.  He looked for a second like he was going to reach out and touch me, but he stopped himself and his hand dropped to the side.

"I'll be okay, you have to be there too, and don’t the teachers usually have to be there before the students?" I reminded him.  He dropped his head and fluffed his hair out, letting it fall naturally around his face.  He was hiding his eyes from me, and it was unnerving to find him so secretive.

"JP!" I heard Veronica call out from the kitchen.  She interrupted the question I was about to throw at JP in an attempt to figure out what was going on with him.

 I could smell the coffee, and it was a reminder to myself that at least she was good for one thing.  I felt him stiffen as she called out his name, but he relented as he usually did, and left me alone in the bathroom.

Grabbing my makeup out and starting on my usual routine had me feeling more settled, it truly didn't consist of much more than some mascara and a little liner on my good eye.  I couldn't do much with the other so I never bothered with an excessive amount of makeup.  My skin was still recovering from the last surgery and I couldn't put anything on it while it healed.

Finding my sad looking duffel bag in the living room near the couch, which was where I had been calling home for the last two weeks, I searched for my clothes.  JP was the one that got me the application for St. Michael's, offering me a place here until I could figure out things and get settled at the school.  It made me worried that he was suddenly anxious about me going there now, his not so great pep talk this morning left me confused.

 Perhaps he was concerned about me living here.  I knew my shelf life squatting on the couch was coming to an end, Veronica and JP looked like they were serious about each other.  Serious enough not to want an eighteen year old kid sharing their apartment, and I knew from firsthand knowledge Veronica hadn’t been amiable to idea before I agreed to come.  Things didn’t get much better once I actually got here. I think at this point it was safe to say she disliked me very much, and she took it out on JP at every opportunity.  I didn't get why she was so mad about it, but he didn't ask me to leave yet so I was content to hold on.

I searched through my clothes and found my uniform, shaking it out to make sure it looked decent.  Glancing at the clock I realized I needed to hurry if I was going to make it on time.  I ran into the bathroom and changed, throwing a change of clothes into my bag for later.

"I got a game later tonight, won't be home until late.  Don't wait up," I called out to him as I grabbed the coffee mug off the island.

"You shouldn't be doing that kind of thing anymore Brienne, it's too dangerous," she said to me, a look of fake concern in her eyes.

"Leave it alone V, she's old enough to know what she's doing," he told her back, pouring me a refill into the coffee travel mug while pulling her into his side.

"She's only eighteen JP, you seem to forget that about her."  At this she roamed her eyes over my private school skirt, like JP needed the reminder I was a kid.  It was an old accusation that she never quite gave up on, JP told me once she was convinced we were sleeping together.  There was nothing between us, that he had made clear, but she couldn't let it go.

"I still have to pay off the hospital bill from the last graft, then I can move out.  I'll be fine, besides I'm good at it."  They didn't know how well I did either.  When I said I was planning on moving out, she smiled, suddenly undisturbed by my current career choice.

"You sure about tonight, I got a bad feeling," JP said to me.

"I've had to sit in on a hell of a lot of games to get invited tonight, the payout is worth the risk," I told him, shrugging off his concerns.

"Call me," he told me with a warning look.  I wouldn't need the help, but I gave him a reassuring nod anyway.

"See you there?  At…at school I mean," I asked, knowing that he was the one thing that was going to get me through today.

"Yeah," he said as he left Veronica's side to come over and hug me.  It was a long hug, longer than he normally did and it made me wary.

"I've only wanted what was best for you, ever since that day I first saw you," he said looking down on me with a thoughtful expression.

“I know, it’s why I’m taking you up on this offer.  So school better not blow.”  I laughed and turned to walk out, trying not to dwell on the fact that JP’s face drained of color as I said it.

 

***

 

I reached the principal’s office, glancing at the gilded plaque on the wall, I knew I was in the right place.  Though she was called a headmistress, and looked like she could be running a fortune 500 company, versus a private school.  I guess fancy schools have fancy leaders.  The good feelings I had been trying to conjure up on the walk here evaporated with each glance, with each step.  I approached the front desk, and to the secretary's credit she didn't so much as bat an eye at my face.

"I'm Brienne Moreau," I told her aiming for polite but knowing I came across a bit cold.  I didn't have too much practice at talking to strangers, and I found myself cringing at how I was going to get through today.

"Go on back dear, she's waiting for you," she told me, quickly answering another phone call as she pointed to the door.

Headmistress Marion Pernault was about as different from the mental image of a private school matron as I could imagine.  She was young, possibly early forties, with short dark hair and light golden eyes.  There was almost a familiarity to her, but it wasn't enough for me to put a finger on it.  She had a bright and genuine looking smile, training it on me the second I popped out from behind the door.

"Hello Brienne, it's a pleasure to meet with you in person.  JP has told me so much about you," she said and I was curious about what he had told her about me.  I flitted my eyes around, looking for just what I was supposed to do after that.  Thankfully Marion pointed in the direction of the chair in front of the desk in invitation.

"I'm sure you are anxious to get out to your classes, but I just wanted to welcome you here.  I also want to encourage you to come to me if you have any issues you may need help with."  She was looking to me, I took it as my cue for a response and I nodded like a mute idiot, feeling for the first time a bit intimidated.

"Thanks," I said clearing my throat.  I looked down at what was occupying her hands and found a manila folder that she was holding, its precarious spine stretched to its maximum.  Wonderful, she had my social services file.  She realized that I noticed it, and she held it up.

"I must say it's quite the file, took me a good amount of time to review it all," she said finally allowing her eyes to follow the path of my scar.  I didn't take offense to it, she did it plainly and not with regretful eyes like many did.  There was something working behind her eyes, but I didn’t know her well enough to decipher it.

"Its healing, the last graft really helped," I said, absently touching the skin above my eye.  It was the worst spot and the wrinkled healing skin still hurt to touch.

"It looks good, considering," she said with a tilt of the head.  I could feel my eyebrows pinch in confusion.

“Considering what?” I asked, gooseflesh appearing on my arms at her expression.

  "Well, the power level Remy used on you should have burned you alive in an instant.  It's amazing you had the strength to shield him.  Especially considering what happened the night before."  I leaned down in my seat, taking a few deep breaths, and hoping against hope I wouldn't pass out.  I couldn't believe it had come to this.  I had been dodging the governance ever since I got free, and now here I was.  JP said he had a bad feeling about today, was he trying to warn me in the bathroom this morning?

"You're her sister," I said finally recognizing her face.  I couldn't believe I didn't notice it sooner, Penny was one of the faces from then that would forever be seared into my memories.

"Was," she said coreected me tightly, letting her friendly mask slip a bit.

"I apologize," I said, not meaning to make such a mistake about it.  I'm sure she didn't like talking about it anymore than I did.

"It was, what almost three years ago now, and still I get angry," she said honestly to me as she hung her head.  I nodded, being the one person who could really understand.

"She was brave," I said to her, meeting her gaze and trying not to tear up when I thought about what Penny did for me.

"She was."  She trailed off, eyes locked on a picture in front of her that must contain her sister.

"How did you find me?" I asked in a resigned breath, knowing that I might as well talk to her, now that I was here. 

"You led us on quite a chase after that group home, and it wasn’t without its troubles.  When it became clear you would never willingly come to us, we convinced JP to reach out and take you in after the incident in New York.  I never thought you would go back to him, after everything.  Regardless here you are."  I could feel my hands shaking in anger, I had done everything in my power to stay away from them and yet here I was, enrolled in a governance school.  Life was a cruel b***h to me.

"He's the only person I had ever trusted, where the hell else was I going to go?" I asked caustically, referring to her comment about JP.

"We have always made it clear you are welcome in this school system when you came of age, you only needed to ask," Marion said, opening her arms up to indicate where I was.  They did offer me a place here, to their credit they had made it apparent when I turned eighteen I could attend any governance school I wanted, which is the one reason I didn't trust them.  No one in their right mind would take a chance on me. 

"Why?" I asked plainly, giving up on the pretenses and cutting down to what I wanted to know.

"You are not them," she said, like it answered everything.  I let that comment float around in my head, willing it to sink in enough to fix that part of me that knew it was a lie.

"If I'm not them, then who am I?" I asked, summing up my existence.  No matter what happened, no matter where I was, I always returned to that question.

"You are not your father Brienne, you are a very powerful, but a very good witch. I could sense it and so did JP."  She looked confident, but I knew from gossip that they were in the minority.  Most thought I was just as crazy as my father, and I probably was.

"I look just like him, I was raised by him.  I was raised by the lot of them.  Hell, half of the prisoners you hold I know or have known at some point.  Maybe that's the reason he left me behind,” I said, more to myself than to Marion. I almost shivered as the memories came flooding back to me, both the good and the bad.

"You do like him, very much so, but that doesn't mean you have to turn out like him.  You don’t have to be like those people.”  Marion was sitting calmly talking about it, but it had to be hard to look at me without feeling resentment, I was a spitting image of him.  He destroyed so many lives.  “We can help you be better,” she finished, eyes looking energized and alert at the prospect.

"Is that what this is about? Get me to go to school here so that you can keep an eye on me?  You can't teach me anything I don't already know, in fact I think I could teach you some things," I said bitterly.  I saw her eyes round with concern and I tried to remember threatening the governance, wasn't the way to go.

"We can help with your control, we can teach you things your father refused, we can give you a future," she said with a hopeful expression.

"You mean you can use me, you want to control me and then use what I know to your benefit."  I scoffed and rolled my eyes, of course that’s what they wanted to do.

"Is that Remy talking, or is that your own opinion?" she asked.  My mind reeled as I realized she was right, and wrong.  I had practically spoken verbatim what he always used to tell me about the governance, about why they wanted to take me.  I shook my head, feeling dirty just having those words come out of my mouth but I couldn't shake the feeling that in this case they were probably true.

"I'm sorry Brienne, I should never have said that," Marion said, looking somewhat ashamed.

"Turns out fifteen years of brainwashing doesn't go away overnight.  Outside of that though, I don't trust anyone besides myself.  I have no incentive to trade what he did to me, for what you might."  I didn't want it to offend her, and by the look on her face she didn’t take it as an insult

"That fair, but maybe we can make a deal," she said looking interested.  "You give this year a good try, I'll pay off your medical bills, and get you set up for college if you so choose."  I'm sure my jaw had hit the floor at the comment.  I couldn't believe what she was offering, what it could mean for me.

"Can I think about it?" I asked, needing more time to consider.  It was a great offer, with strings I wasn’t sure I wanted attached to me.

"Of course, how about you give it until the winter break, if you really hate what we are doing here you can leave.  If you decide to stay the offer stands,” she said calmly, jotting down a few notes in my file as I sat silent.  I eyed her, sensing I was by far getting the good end of this deal.

"Why?" I asked again, knowing something wasn't adding up.

"So that my baby sister didn't die without cause.  JP didn't risk his life without a damn good reason, and it's important that I follow through.  This community let you down before and I won't stand by and let it happen again.  On top of all that," she said with a heavy sigh, "your father is still alive, and he's going to come for you at some point.  It's inevitable, don't you think the best thing you can do for yourself is to grow your power?  If not to help us find him and kill him, but so that when he comes to take you, you can stop him."  I dropped my head and closed my eyes, knowing there was no way I could turn her down when she offered me that.

Reviews

[Scott Mou]

The dialogue was good and attention to detail excellent. The character dynamics are interesting. However, I did cringe just a little when I saw "witch". I has hoping (and kind of expecting) that this would be a slice of life type story. I was entertained... but didn't exactly see that coming.

[lmkeck3510]

Totally understand! I am a lover of paranormal/ urban fantasy, but I also love the more traditional type of stories as well, so I find myself melding the two. I understand the cringe, but hopefully if you read on you will be surprised that it's not the typical fantasy story.

[Amanda Dawn Sanderson-G..]

I got a bit confused at times about who was who and the characters themselves in general, however I really liked the flow of dialogue, monologue, and description of who the characters were this chapter. I'd really like more back story though because it's really hard to enjoy a story when I feel lost and confused by who is who and what exactly is going on.

[lmkeck3510]

Got it, it makes sense to me (though I'm writing it) so I need to go back and give a little more. Thanks!

[Amanda Dawn Sanderson-Greer]

Sometimes we get so used to the characters and ideas ourselves that when we write, we forget that the audience doesn't know them as well as we do. It's alright, I don't doubt that you are an incredible writer with a wild imagination-I just struggled a little with the understanding. I'll continue to read and see if it works itself out. You can always edit as you please and I'll continue to read and hopefully enjoy. :)

[lmkeck3510]

Yes and yes! It's great feedback, I think I need to clear up the background more and leave less of the flashbacks to save for later, when they make more sense.

[Amanda Dawn Sanderson-Greer]

Just know you've got a good thing going here and don't give up! Sometimes it takes revising time and time again to get it right, but it's always worth it in the end. I think one day you'll have a really great story going here but enough thoughts on the subject... I must read before I say much more!