Chapter 2

I shook the memory off, shut the year book and looked at Sarah. “You wanna go get something to eat?”

She looked at me knowing I didn’t want to talk about it and nodded.

“We can unpack when we get back.” I smiled.

“Okay, but I’m a vegetarian so I’m taking you this place called ‘Soy.’ She beamed. I gave her a funny look and chuckled slightly.

What the f**k is soy?

It’s vegetarian for suck.

You’re funny.

“I’m just gonna change it was a long flight.” I said looking at my suit case on the bed. She stood up and smiled.

“Okay, I’m gonna go back to my music.” She put the head phones back on and starting blasting One more night by Maroon 5.

She walked out of my room singing and dancing again.

It must be nice to be that happy.

You were too once.

Yeah for like a week.

Week, month, year, you were still happy.

I pulled my phone out and looked through my texts.

Nothing from Phoebe, I think she had my number blocked.

About 2 years ago Phoebe started seeing this new guy from the army. His name was Liam and he’s the definition of a d********g.

He’s cocky. He’s arrogant. He’s judgmental. He absolutely f*****g hated me.

When everything blew up with Josh I started drinking and making bad choices. I got so bad that I almost flunked out of my classes. Phoebe quit college and moved in with me. She wouldn’t let me drink alone so she always drank with me. We had a blast partying and just having fun, but when she started seeing Liam she stopped because he didn’t approve of underage drinking, even though he did it.

More like didn’t approve of fun.

Sh. I’m telling a story.

Anyways, he always talked bad about me and after a while she stopped sticking up for me.

I started drinking even more. My parents got a letter from my school showing concern that I’ve been ducking out of my classes. I mostly just spent time in my room hung-over. Phoebe avoided me for the last 3 months before she left.

She was moving to North Dakota to be with Liam on base.

I conned her cousin into meeting me the morning before she left. I showed up at her cousins which was right down the street from me and blindsided her. I didn’t yell I just looked at her like I didn’t even know who she was.

“I’m just here to say goodbye.” I choked. I had been up all night freaking out clutching my flask of whiskey looking through old pictures of us. My face was still a little red and my eyes were puffy.

She gave me a sad look and started crying. “I want to explain to you why I’m doing this.”

“I probably won’t understand, but okay.” I wiped my eyes and waved to her cousin. We walked outside in the summer air and down my side walk. We didn’t at look each other we just walked side by side.

“I want you to understand that this isn’t against you..” She started. “When I look at you I see the past. I see the bad decisions I made and how I was holding myself back.” I shot my head at her.

“I didn’t make you do a damn thing Phoebe you wanted to do all those things.” I snapped. I could tell she didn’t care about this as much as I did.

“But you didn’t really give me much of a choice, Layla.” She snapped back. “What was I gonna do sit there and watch you drink yourself stupid.” I clutched my arms and dug my nails in my skin knowing she’s right.

“You let him say all that s**t about me and I only met the guy twice!” I yelled. She stopped and got in front of me.

“Why though? Why are you doing this to yourself? You used to be this amazing person without needing a drink. You and I were like sisters, but as soon as Josh came a long you turned into this mopey sad person.” She threw her hands in the air. “Why can’t you just let go of him?” I gave her a dirty look.

“That was why I used to drink. I drink now because my best friend of nine f*****g years totally turned her back on me and is moving across the god damn country!” I wailed. We both just stood there steaming.

This isn’t how I wanted this to go.

Just smack that b***h.

“Phoebe I didn’t wanna do this.” I sighed and a tear fell down my cheek. “You’re telling me that I’m the reason you’re leaving.” She looked up at me.

“No, I’m leaving because I need to be closer to Liam. I love him and if I don’t go now I might not get to be with him for 2 years and I can’t do that.” She suddenly wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a hug.

I started bawling. “Am I ever going to see you again?”

“Of course you will.” She said.

It was a lie.

I guess in a way I should thank her. I stopped drinking all the time and only had a drink when it was appropriate.

I started to undress and threw on a white sundress. I tossed my hair in a clip and picked up my purse.

Sarah was rummaging through the fridge when I walked out.

“After we eat we should get some groceries cause’ we have no food.” She laughed shutting the door. I imagined all the fruit and green foods that were about to be in there.

“Okay but were getting separate milks.” I chuckled.

She walked over to me and gave me a stern look.

“Do you know what cows go through to even produce milk?” She asked. I moved my head back slightly and shook it. “Well, it’s terrible.” She turned on her heel and walked toward the door.

Okay, I think I miss my sneezing roommate.

I followed her out to the hall and down the stairs.

My phone started vibrating. I stopped on the bottom step and picked it out of my purse.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Layla!” My little sister Cameron squeaked. A smile curled on my face and I started walking again.

“Hey kid what’s shakin’?” I chuckled. Sarah gave me a funny look as she walked toward the exit of our building. I just shrugged

.

“When’s your next chapter of Stella Moon going on your blog?” She whined.

I looked at Sarah. “Do you want to take my car?” She shook her head.

“We can walk from here it’s not that far.” She smiled.

I nodded and went back to Cameron

.

“I still have a little left to write but I’ll send what I have to mom and you can ask her to print it out for you."

She squeaked a little and starting calling for my mom.

The sun hit my face as we walked down the side walk.

“Okay! She said she would do that.” She said happily. I adjusted the strap on my heels and stood still for a minute.

“Is that all you wanted sweets?” I asked.

“Yep, I love you!” She yelled. I started walking again and Sarah looked a little annoyed with me.

“I love you too.” I smiled and threw my phone back in my purse.

“Who was that?” Sarah asked curiously bumping my elbow. I started looking around for a big tea pot that said SOY.

It’s was I imagine it would be like.

“My little sister, she just wanted to know when I was putting my story up on my blog.” I said simply. She pointed her attention at a rundown building on the other side of the street.

“It’s right over there.” She said pointing. “You write stories?”

I looked at the place a little worried. “Um, yeah it’s what I’m going to Yale for. Is that place even open?” We walked across the street and stopped in front of it.

‘Soy’ was written on a drawn leaf on the door.

She pushed the door open and smiled. “It’s got really good reviews.”

We stepped in and sat in the corner.

There was a big hookah sitting in the middle of us.

A woman walked over with dread locks and put white tabs on the table.

Sarah picked one up and put it at the end of the mouth piece. “Do you smoke?”

“Yeah like a chimney.” I laughed. She gave me a big smile. “Do I have to smoke this though can’t I just smoke my cigarettes?”

“Yeah that’s allowed I think.” She said and put the mouth piece in her mouth. She took a big drag and let out the smoke.

I pulled my Marlbro Menthols out of my purse and lit one up.

One of the bad choices I started but can’t quit. Along with saying the word f**k profusely.

I took a drag and looked over at Sarah. “So do you have a job?”

“Not yet.” She said simple taking another puff. “But hopefully I will soon. There’s this great Animal Rights magazine that is interning for an on the spot protester.” I rose my eyebrows at her.

“You’re gonna protest for animal rights?” I asked confused. She looked taken a back.

“Animals have rights too you know.” She rolled her eyes at me. “But I don’t discourage people who eat meat.” She smiled at me and the woman before walked over to the table.

“Are you guys ready to order?” She asked taking out a note pad and pen.

“Oh I’m sorry I didn’t even see the menu.” I said looking around the booth for one.

“No sweetie you order from up there.” She pointed at the wall beside us. I looked up and saw a small selection on salads and sandwiches.

I stared up at him concerned. “Okay, I guess I’ll have ..the moon berry salad.. With a sweet iced tea?” The woman jotted it down and looked at Sarah.

“I’ll have the tofu burger with soy fries and a green cia latte.” She said without a breeze. I took one last drag of my cigarette and put it out.

“Okay I’ll bring those out for you.” She smiled.

Okay so this place is alright.

Ditch this place and let’s go get a drink.

It’s not even 2 o’clock.

Never stopped you before.

I started to examine the hookah and got lost in my thoughts again.

“Hi, is this Josh?” I slurred flicking my cigarette on my floor. “If this is Josh I just want you to know that you’re a dick-“

Phoebe snatched the phone out of my hand laughing. “No what are you doing?” She just walked back into my room after making herself another drink. “You are not supposed to call him.”

“I didn’t call him he called me.” I snatched the phone back. “Don’t ever call me again!” I ended the call and took another shot of Zombie. “What’s the matter with me?” I started to get upset but my phone started buzzing. I stared at the screen trying to read my called id. “Hello?”

“Layla put the phone down.” Phoebe demanded reaching for my phone.

I dodged her and stumbled to my feet.

“Layla? It’s Josh.” He said concerned. I stood in front of my window.

“Hi Josh what’s new?” I beamed. Phoebe put her drink down and stumbled over to me. I put my arm out and held her back.

“Uh nothing just calling you back. Are you drunk?” He sounded a little annoyed.

“No why would I be drunk? It’s Sunday.”

“It’s Thursday.” He sighed.

F**K.

“Oh.” I chuckled. Phoebe started to get frustrated and swung at me. “This was a mistake I shouldn’t have called. I’m sorry.” I went to end the call.

“Well no wait it’s not a mistake. I’m happy to hear from you. I haven’t seen you since Christmas.” He said. I could tell he was smiling which made me smile.

“I miss you.” I said and then immediately wanted to take it back. “F**k, uh I mean how are you?”

He laughed. “I’m doing good. Just finished my finals for the year and I start an internship at the UN building in the fall.”

“That’s really great Josh.” I frowned. “I gotta go.”

Before he could say anything Phoebe snatched my phone and threw it across the room. “Layla what the f**k. I told you no.”

“He’s happy.” I said and slumped back down on the bed. I picked up the bottle and took a very big gulp.

“Layla, you have got to stop thinking about him. There are tons of guys out there!” She whined taking a sip of her drink. I stared at the loose thread on my comforter.

“There was this one time Josh and I were laying on his bed.” Tears started to form in my eyes. “I asked him when he knew he loved me..” I wiped a tear away. “He leaned over top of me and said ‘when you and I were wailing at each other during that hurricane I saw this fire in your eyes. You had so much passion towards hating me. I wanted that passion to turn into loving me. I suddenly just wanted to pick you up in my arms and kiss you and when I knew I couldn’t I knew I’d have to go through hell and back to get you in my arms.. I don’t ever wanna let go.” I took another gulp of Zombie and lit up a cigarette. “He let go.”

Phoebe rubbed my arm. “I know.” I started to cry and she held me while I ran what he said over and over again in my head.

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