Heal

Conflicted over whether to let someone in or shut them out for fear of getting hurt even further.

My screams echo,

Deep inside.

Conflicts are still waging,

So the tears continue falling.

As more cuts and bruises are inflicted,

I thought no one could see,

I was so confident that it was well hidden.

But I was wrong,

Oh so wrong.

Someone I barely know,

Was able to see right through me,

Through all of my lies.

Should I let them in?

And let them see my slow destruction,

Will they accelerate it?

Or help me to heal?

Are they just like the rest?

And force me back into the dark?

I don’t know what to say,

The time is drawing closer.

For me to decide,

Should I lie?

‘Cause I am afraid to be so exposed,

I’m so confused,

And I don’t know what to do.

Somebody please save me,

I want to be healed,

But I’m so scared of being broken even further.

Please help me,

and tell me what I should do.

Reviews

[StunnedByGrace]

I'm not a big advice giver, but your plea urges me to write based on my experiences in life. There is Somebody ... a Savior for you. He is really REAL -- His name is Jesus, His Hebrew mother called Him Yeshua. He understands everything about you...He formed you in the womb...He forgives you and loves you and wants you to know Him. He took your punishment, death, on the cross. He will never leave you. Talk to Him --- ask him to save you and guide you... He stands at the door waiting for you.

[Wonderful Letdown]

I appreciate your concern and love for a complete stranger. I know my Saviour, it hasn't been an easy road to get to where I am now and there's still some major issues that He's working on in me. In all honesty, if it wasn't for Him I wouldn't be here today. He has kept me as safe as He could while I was so far away from Him.

He has SAVED me from the "snare of the trapper" that I had been caught in. That is why I'm able to share the pieces I wrote from that time. Most of my writing from back then doesn't hurt me anymore. There's still much He still needs to heal me of, this I know solely based off of all the "horrific events" (as my Pastor has put it) I've been through in my life. I'm enjoying the ride He is taking me on down to that inner healing. The changes He's made in me and my life are absolutely remarkable, even more so because of the small time frame he's done it all.

It's been almost three years since He freed me and in that time, He's held me through some very difficult times and healing me from many of my deep wounds. The person I am now, is almost completely different from the person who wrote this poem.

I'll try to add some of my more recent stuff. But right now my priority is to post all the stuff from BEFORE so that I can get rid of the hard copies and as a sort of "good-bye" to that chapter in my life.

My writing is not mine to keep, especially of my worst moments. Those I feel are most important to be shared. Because when people are hurting, they tend to feel all alone. With my writing, it's a way for me to outstretch my hand and say "No, you aren't alone. I've been there, it's okay." People need that, need to know that they aren't the only ones going through what ever suffering that is afflicting them. I'm fortunate enough to be able to give a voice to those emotions, to purge them onto the paper where as many people can't. I hope those that can't are able to read it and think "Aa, this is how I feel. Someone out there DOES understand." There isn't much I haven't been through, so I have much to share. And I'm not afraid nor am I ashamed. I am only human, but Jesus is using that. He's filling the holes in my life and blessing me with gifts.

Thank-you for caring.

[StunnedByGrace]

What an awesome testimony! Thank you so much. Arise, shine His Light has come. I had a practice in Christian psychotherapy/counseling for many years before retirement and have witnessed the transforming power of the Lord. I agree with you about the witnessing power of sharing the BEFORE and the after. May many happen upon your writing! Blessings! I'm so glad that you are disciple and not ashamed to reveal Him.