A Chapter by Evil_Angel

This is just about David coming over after Hallie fainted and Christian already left. She still can't help but think about Christian even though David is right there. Anyway its just a really sort of crappy rough draft right now but please enjoy :)


       " Well look at you," David eyed Hallie up and down.  He nearly forgot that the whole reason he came over was because he heard that she fainted.  Hallie stood on her tippy toes to give her boyfriend a kiss, smearing Sugar & Spice Sephora brand lip gloss all over his cheek.  He twirled her around checking her out from the back.  David was what she called an "a*s man."  Obsessed with girl's asses even more so than other body parts.  Hallie always called him out on it and he never denied it.


     " Nice I like," David quoted from the movie Borat for the twelve hundred and tenth time since he'd seen it.  " Hey so what was Abby talking about?  Did you really faint?"


" Yeah I's kind of embarrassing," Hallie said with her cheeks rapidly matching the color of her Little Red Riding Hood costume.


" Are you alright now? Did this happen at the carnival?" David asked concerned.


" Yep, I guess I was just on my feet too long.I felt dizzy, and just went splat..." Hallie said feeling stupid.  She knew why she fainted, but there was no way in hell she was going to tell David.  What could she have said?  I saw my ex Christian after five years and I was so overwhelmed by seeing him and how good he looked that I fainted.  No not a good idea.


" I was just on my feet too long," Hallie repeated robotically.


" Well we can get you off your feet if you'd like..." David wrapped his long arms around Hallie's waist tackling her to the bed.  Hallie let out a slight yelp as he inched his ridiculously large hands up her white laced thighs and gave her a*s an uninhibited squeeze.


Hallie felt like she was half there, and could barely feel David touching her.  She looked outside at the dark waves rolling to shore.  She felt like she was tumbling with them, stuck in a riptide of Christian's presence which still lingered with his scent and the harsh words that had been spoken.


Why did Christian care if she dated David?  He should have been happy that she could date again after what he did to her.  Granted Christian and David were always rivals since high school, but those times had long since passed.  Both guys used to compete in every activity possible;  football, basketball, student counsel, anything where they could prove one was better than the other.  Especially when it came to winning Hallie.  Hallie hadnt known David as long as she knew Christian, but once the Harris's met the Carrington's at the same local Beverely Hills country club, each family was intent on setting their offspring up with one another. 


Ignoring David's groping Hallie looked into David's brown eyes trying to remember the first time she met him.  Their parents had introduced them, or better yet set them up on a date when they were only fourteen.  She remembered how unnatural it all felt, especially since her parents were desperately trying to veer her away from the defiant Christian. After much talk of setting the two up, the Carrington's invited Hallie Harris and her family to their man-made lake in Palm Springs for the summer.  David was exactly what Hallie expected.  Preppy, handsome, polite, and completely ordinary.  He wasn't good or bad, just ordinary.  She had seen it several times before with the young men of her economical status. 


David and Hallies family were on the top floor of the family's luxury yacht having drinks letting the two kids to get to know eachother.  Hallie felt like killing her parents for leaving her alone with a strange guy she never met.    The sun was just setting and with one look at Hallie, David was happy to have her to himself.  Hallie only turned fourteen a few months before and was a beauty even then.  Men twice her age constantly hit on her, but she was nowhere near being experienced.  She'd kissed Christian, her childhood sweetheart a few times, but that was about it.  So when David tried to put his arm around her she scooted away uncomfortably as they sailed across the water.


In the sinking sunlight Hallie decided that David was a good looking guy but she wondered why he would do that before hardly even speaking to her.


Hallie's mother Rita once explained to her that the Harris family was different from "regular people", they were special.  She also explained the fact that special people don't asscociate with regular people, and while regular, hardworking people are all well and good, they simply don't belong in the same world as the special ones.


Mrs. Harris had been drumming this into Hallie's head since she was five.  Hallie understood even before that age that she was privileged over most others.  What she didn't understand was later on, when she started taking an interest in boys, and her mother warned her to stick to guys with the same "upbringing" as her.  She scared Hallie into thinking that anyone less than their well-to-do status would either take advantage of her, or never understand her.


Then why was David Carrington making moves on her when they had barely spoken?  He was what her mother obviously considered "special" and he certainly didn't understand her, not like her best friend Christian did.  Nor was she sure if he would try and take advantage of her or not, but she knew Christian would never do that to her, even if he had started messing around with girls as young as age twelve.  Hallie had only kissed Christian and he never tried anything more with her even though she knew he was much more experienced.  He was simply a different person around her, they were both different people around eachother.


Hallie felt the large yacht suddenly come to a stop and was pulled out of her daydream by the sight of David's head directly besides hers.  He wasn't looking at her but she could see his arm making its way for her shoulders. 


Hallie quickly sprung up from the deck of the boat and hastily walked towards the bow not looking back at David.  As she leaned against the railing she looked up to see both obnoxious mothers spying on them from the porthole above.  Hallie rolled her eyes and looked upon the ugly brownish-colored man made lake.  She had no clue where David was nor did she care.


She wanted to come back to Christian who was probably stuck with his abusive alcoholic uncle for the remainder of the summer.  Each summer Hallie would always sneak him out and they'd stay at the beach till it turned dark and it was freezing.  She wanted to return back to her Malibu beachouse her family used to stay at every summer before they got invited to god damn sweltering Palm Springs.  At least the beach at her house had a real body of water, not some fake crappy man made lake in the middle of the desert.  She wanted to look into the blue-green of Christian's eyes.  That was what was real to her.  That is what made sense, the only thing that made sense in her already confusing life.    


"Are your girls still here?"  Hallie was quickly brought back to reality as David murmured the words into her ear. 


"They are still downstairs," Hallie whispered back.  "I'm still a little dizzy David," she said meaning she wasn't in the mood to fool around.


" Oh I'm sorry babe," he replied turning into the concerned boyfriend. " Are you sure you still want to go out?"


" Oh yeah," Hallie nodded.  The fact was she really didn't want to go out, but after what happened earlier with Christian she had an unrelenting urge to get completely drunk out of her mind so she could quit scrutinizing the situation.


" Ready then?" David said grabbing hold of her petite hand.


" Ready," Hallie nodded


They joined Hallie's friends downstairs who had forgotten about Hallie's fainting episode and were excited to get to L.A.X.  The nightclub not the airport. 


They all piled in the back of Kristin's Escalade and sped off into the night.  They chattered over the loud subwoofer rap blasting throughout the car, about who would be there and how wasted they were about to get.  Hallie sat silently in the back seat with her head leaned against the cars tinted window.


" Hey so when you fainted did someone help carry you back to the car?" David said trying to talk over the noise.


" Just some guy," Hallie replied vaguely.  " I have no idea who he was and hopefully I don't see him again," She kept her head pressed against the glass and closed her eyes until they arrived.



















© 2008 Evil_Angel

Author's Note

I'm not very good at putting the dialogue in proper order...I hope it isn't too unclear just tell me if it is.

My Review

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This piece is much better written than the previous ones. It's smoother, better punctuated and the sentences are catchier.
I also prefer the font & font-color you use here.
Well done!

Posted 14 Years Ago

Naw, you wrote the dialogues just fine. I'll admit that some of them may need some adjustment, but no worries

On the other hand, it's an interesting reading and I enjoyed the ending well, so it's all good...

Posted 16 Years Ago

Write to "Sugar & Spice Sephora brand lip gloss" tell them you are advertising their product in your novel. You may get a free sample... Of course, if you were a big name novelist with millions of readers...

I didn't think there were any problems with dialogue, couple of spelling errors, but all-in-all I enjoyed reading it....

Posted 16 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

no its not unclear... i understand everything.... this kind of reminds of that sweet alabama movie that some chick made me watch back in the day... where she has to choose between the rich guy from NY or the charming guy from Alabama..... but i enjoyed this chapter nice work.... send me the next one when your ready

Posted 16 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Added on March 17, 2008



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