Poem 13. Rain

A simple Tanka

Rain touching my skin
Seems making me neat and clean
It's washing my tears
Hiding all sorrows and fears
Like a disguise they can't read.

Author's Note

A Tanka

Reviews

[Leslie Philibert]

Like this a lot, very vivid language. As John rightly points out, A Tanka is a haiku with two extra lines ( I think it developed that way ). But for me it is important simply to enjoy this,a fine poem that deserves loads of good reviews

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Oh, thank you, Sir. I am flattered by what you said. I am glad you enjoyed this simple piece from me. Glad to view your writings, too.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

I am glad I found this lovely piece as I have also found another lovely addidtion to the senyru through this traditional marriage of Kami-no-ku and shimo-no-ku.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thanks. But who are Kami-no-ku and shimo-no-ku? Pardon my innocence in Japanese literature, if that's all about. Am I too literal? I really don't understand...

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Sorry I assumed you knew and I have just learned by being inspired by your poem. The Tanka is split into two halves. The first or upper phrase 5-7-5 is the Kami-no-ku and the second or lower phrase 7-7 is the shimo-no-ku.

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

I just don't know the Japanese terms. Actually, this is my first attempt for Tanka after having a research on the other kinds of poems. But, yes, I only knew it was in 5-7-5-7-7 format but never had an idea of the terms. Thanks for giving the information.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

You're welcome.

[ms. barrie]

Your use of enriched imagery you conveyed here is brilliant...
of how rain is nature's way of renewing one's
spirit, and thoughts.

"Hiding all sorrows and fears
Like a disguise they can't read."

personally are my favorite lines. this is a very enlightening poem!
thanks for sharing and Pen On! :)

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!
Thanks for the kind words...those that encourage me to continue my journey as a writer. :)

[ms. barrie]

You're verily, verily welcome! This was quite a pleasure to read, and my you have a way with words. I believe that, that is what we should be here for, encourage one another for always trying to improve our craft of our love for writing, especially to purge feelings we otherwise hold back. Yes, always write,
and please continue on your journey as a writer, chase down your dreams and hold your pen high, always. :)

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

:)

[ms. barrie]

:))

[Carnation]

Has nice meaning

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thanks for sparing your time :)

[Carnation]

No problem.