Chapter 13

Zach and I were sitting on his couch. I was starting to fall asleep and Zach just let me. I haven’t been sleeping much lately because every time that I start to sleep I start dreaming about the man that I almost killed and I keep dreaming that I actually killed him. It keeps me up most of the night, so without Zach knowing, I go out and I start hunting. I have to get control somehow. I don’t know how long I was out before I heard the doorbell ring. Zach carefully, thinking that I was still asleep, went up to answer the door. “What do you want?” I heard him say.

 

“Listen, your girlfriend is already a vampire. There’s no need to walk on egg shells around me anymore.” It was Jenna. I got up and slowly walked over to them.

 

“Katie, I didn’t know you were up.” Zach said.

 

I shook my head. “It’s fine. I heard the doorbell ring.” I continued to walk over to them until I got by Zach and I could feel his comforting hand on my back. I knew that if he was there, nothing would go wrong.

 

“Katie, tell me, how is the vegetarian diet working out for you?” I shook my head. I wasn’t going to let her get into my head. I saw her car and Matilta came out of it. Then I smelled it. The blood. I couldn’t breathe.

 

I ran over to the other side of the room and I could still smell the blood. “Jenna, why are you doing this to her? You know new vampires can’t control themselves.” Zach said. He didn’t try to come over to me. After the last time that I lost control, he knew that trying to keep me away from the blood was pointless and that I had to keep myself away from it.

 

“Maybe I’m doing this to show her that she can do whatever she wants because she is a vampire Zach. You and your family have an insanely weird way of life but that doesn’t mean that all vampires should have to live the same way you do.”

 

“We aren’t making her live like we do. If she hurts anyone, the guilt will eat her alive. It may even cause her to-“

 

“To turn off her humanity! What vampire hasn’t shut off their humanity at least once in their immortal life Zach? I mean you’ve done it what, ten times now?”

 

I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t think straight. “Would both of you just shut the hell up!” I yelled. I have never yelled at Zach like that. But I needed some peace and quiet to think about what I was going to do. I could give into the blood lust and kill the man that is probably already dead in the car. I could listen to Zach and just shove the door into Jenna’s face. Or, something that neither of them have said, I could go off and try to get myself under control. It’s clear to me right now that I don’t have anything under control.

 

I took a deep breath. This was going to be the hardest thing that I have ever done. I walked over to Zach and gave him the longest kiss that I’ve ever given him. “Katie, what are you doing?”

 

“I have to go try and learn on my own how to control myself. You can’t come with me and you can’t come find me. I have to do this on my own.”

 

He shook his head. “Please, Katie, I can help.”

 

“I know you think that the animal blood is working, but it’s not. I have to find another way to feed without hurting anyone and I need to do that on my own. I will come back when I’m ready.” I just stopped talking and kissed him again. Afterwards, I just ran. I didn’t know where I was running to but I just continued to run. I knew that if I stopped running that I wouldn’t be able to go through with it.

 

I was waiting in the park outside my old neighborhood. I know I didn’t run far but I had to get ahold of Sarah. She would know what I should do. I was waiting behind a tree. It was extremely late at night. I knew that it was the best time of night to make sure that no one was around. I was so hungry that I didn’t want to risk anyone seeing me or me seeing anyone. I knew that if I saw anyone other than Sarah, I would probably hurt them.

 

I heard someone coming from the far entrance. I hid behind the tree. “Katie. It’s me!” I came out from behind the tree and saw Sarah standing there.

 

I started to run up to hug her but then I thought better of it and stopped and stepped back so I would distance myself from her. I was hungry. Even though I could control myself around Sarah, I knew that I might slip up and accidently kill her.  “Here! I thought that you might be hungry.” She said.

 

She tossed me a bag filled with liquid. It was too dark to see at first what it was. Then I grabbed it and smelled it. “Sarah, you are literally the best friend any vampire could ask for right now.” I opened the bag that was filled with delicious blood and started to eat.

 

“So, you left Zach?” She asked when I was finished.

 

I went to clean off the blood that was on my chin. “Temporarily, I need to figure out how to control myself without Jenna or Zach’s family getting into my head. Zach’s right. I wouldn’t be able to handle it if I killed someone.”

 

“Where are you going to go?”

 

“I don’t know yet.  I’ll probably just run until I get tired. Clear my head. But remember. If Zach asks you where I am-“

 

“I haven’t heard from you and don’t know where you would go.”  I came up to hug her. Now that I was less hungry I could trust myself not to hurt her. “Just let me know that you’re safe whenever you get settled.”

 

“I will. I promise.” I let go of her and started running. I didn’t look back and I didn’t want to. The moment I went to look back, is the moment that I would change my mind.