30

Number 30

 

Let’s all fly a kite. Okay, does that need more explaining? I guess so (muttering to oneself, insolent sane minds, you are not insane enough). That will be fixed soon enough. What you’ll need is a windy day and a kite. If you don’t have a kite make one. Below you shall find quick (or not) and easy (most likely not) instructions to makes a kite that may (no chance) or may not (definitely) work.

1.       Get a garbage bag and six wooden poles (or just find some sticks in the garden).

2.       Using some string (or hair if you feel so inclined) Tie the poles (or sticks) in a cross shape. Two for the cross, then the other four around them so it’s a diamond shape. A diamond shape, we all know what that is don’t we.

3.       Cut the garbage bag into the typical diamond kite shape, but make it bigger than the cross.

4.       Sticky tape time. Now I know it will be hard, but try not to get yourself stuck to something. Refrain people! Stick the garbage bag diamond onto the cross by folding over the edges around the frame. To the

5.       Get some string, tie it onto the middle of the kites frame and make it long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long and long. Okay, long enough. Tie the end onto something and wind it up.

6.       Make a tail if you so wish. Just get another piece of string and stick some paper onto it, yeah, you know how.

So now you have a beautiful kite (don’t forget the glitter to decorate it). All you have to do is fly it now.

Let’s go fly a kite, up… (humming to oneself as I trail off to fly my kite).