TNP 06 "The Diaper Incident"

TNP 06 "The Diaper Incident"

A Chapter by dw817

My time and life in working for the government during the Savings & Loan Crisis of 1990 with a beautiful woman who took care of absolutely everything for me in my employ. And I mean EVERYTHING.




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My time in working for the government during the Savings & Loan Crisis of 1990 with a beautiful
woman who took care of absolutely everything for me in my employ. And I mean EVERYTHING.

© July 2013 Written by David Wicker
Please do not reprint without permission


* * *

This chapter is Rated: TEEN

Returning to my cubicle I saw a pile of papers that needed typing. As I pulled one out to set in my copy-holder, I thought about the events. Would I have to testify in court for something about what happened in the lunchroom earlier ? I certainly didn't want to get anyone in trouble and Barbara seemed friendly enough.

You know how your brain skips a groove. Suddenly my memory shot back for a moment. I saw Barbara on the way back from Nancy's office ! I thought about it for a moment and then I turned my head slowly to the left and sure enough, about 5 aisles down, there she was, also typing.

She saw my gaze and looked to me and gave me a cheerful grin. I returned a weak smile back to her. Then she went back to her typing and I did mine. I had finished about 3 pages when I heard a soft chime behind me. Trudy picked up a phone and talked into it. I looked on my own desk and didn't see a phone. Maybe I would talk to Nancy about getting my own ?

Then Trudy got up from her desk to mine and said, "David, Nancy needs to talk to you for a moment."

I was nervous and hoped I hadn't done anything wrong. "Did she say what it was regarding ?"

She smiled, "David ! You're not in trouble ! Go on." and held her hand out invitingly.

I got up and walked down the hall to see her. I raised to knock my hand again but Nancy was already on top of things again and said, "Come in, David."

I did. And as I was walking in I said, "Nancy, why does Trudy have a telephone and I don't ?"

Nancy looked cross and said, "David - what did I tell you about not speaking unless spoken to ?"

I put down my head dejectedly, wow I was going to learn this. She quickly added, "In any case, if you have a question about something. We now have a place for you to put them. Come with me please." and she got up from her desk and walked past me. I followed her.

We went to where the restrooms were and I saw a little wooden box outside the women's restroom that clearly had, "David" written on it with a little black marker.

"David," she said, "With the pen and index cards I gave you earlier, you are to put ALL your questions in here. The following morning, I will go over them with you. Do you have any questions right now ?"

"Yes please, miss Nancy."

"Go on." she said with a bit of humor in her voice.

I didn't like this at all, "Why is my suggestion box outside the women's restroom ? Can't I just give you the cards ?"

Nancy was once again quick to reply and looked up thoughtfully, "David, as a new employee, your questions and suggestions for us are very important to the company and we wanted to put them where everyone can read them, and near the restroom here is where there it was designated to have the most amount of traffic."

"This was decided by an earlier voting so this is where they go and that is not going to change."

As we were talking I saw someone leave the restroom and she brushed down her skirt as it was a bit ruffled near the bottom. She saw me looking and smiled widely, apparently not aware there were any guys on this floor at all. Oboy, this was uncomfortable.

Every time I made a suggestion I would likely run into mounds of women using this particular restroom, and likely they were here just to socialize with each other. Women still made me nervous, especially with their gossip. Continuous gossip !

"Anything else ?" Nancy added as I pulled my gaze away painfully from the woman exiting the restroom.

Despite how bad this was, I was still curious about the incident with Barbera, "Ma'am, do I need to sign anything for that - stuff - in the cafeteria ?"

Nancy sniffed and got crisp again as two girls stepped out of the restroom to watch us talking now. Nancy had a little magazine in her hands and was rolling it up tightly, "You let me worry about that. That is none of your concern now. I will see to it. Okay, that's all for now. Can you find your way back to your cubicle ?"

I nodded, "Yes ma'am." and turned my gaze away from her to look at the suggestion box once again. I was definitely not happy where it was placed.

"Then scoot." she said and popped me on my butt with the magazine she had in her hand, clearly interrupting me from my thoughts of the horrid location of the suggestion box.

Another girl had just stepped out of the bathroom and watched with me wide eyes as Nancy swatted me.

Then she turned her head to look at the suggestion box right by the entrance, looked at me, giggled, then touched her nose with her three front fingers in amusement and walked quickly away. My face turned beet red so I left in a hurry before it got any worse.

I returned to my cubicle and finished my typing. I then collated the hardcopies and brought them to Nancy.

As I approached her office, this time she wasn't aware it was me apparently so I knocked.

"Come." she said in that familiar crisp tone.

I entered. "Oh, David. Come on in. You have some printouts for me ? That's fine. Sit down a moment. Don't say anything."

I sat down and several minutes passed uncomfortably as she looked through them. Then she set them aside and started working on some other things. Long minutes passed. Was I completely forgotten ?

I coughed to get her attention. She looked up irritatedly at me and put her straight index finger up over her lips for me to be quiet. I repeated the motion back to her. She then gave me a thumbs up like that was the right thing to do.

Finally I shifted my feet uncomfortably after several more minutes of silence. She set down her pen noisily and looked at me with an odd expression.

She spoke in a tone that indicated I was a child again, "Oh ? do you need to go the little boy's room again ?"

"No ma'am." I said.

She humphed and returned her voice to one of displeasure and said, "Then go on back to your cubicle. I'll call you if I need you, and don't forget to check in with me before you clock out for the day." and she went back to her paperwork.

But - she called me ? I shook my head in frustration. Stepping outside I was nearly run down by, of all people, Barbara, the woman who touched my knee during lunchtime ! She looked at me with a tight smile but hurriedly stepped past me quickly closing the door behind her into Nancy's office.

I heard muffled talking and realized I could get in serious trouble if I eavesdropped what they were discussing.

I went back to my desk and saw a few more papers to type up. As I lifted one, I saw someone come to my cubicle and acting like I wasn't even there, set their page directly on top of my copy holder as if their page were more important than all my others.

I smirked as she left and picked it up and rotated it so it was on the bottom of my stack, I didn't want things to get out of order. Then I typed a bit more.

There was the odd horn sound again from the ceiling and I looked at the clock on the computer and it said that it was 5pm. I got up and started to leave but realized I was supposed to see Nancy before I left.

So I one-eightied and headed to Nancy's office as everyone else headed in the opposite direction to take the elevator and stairs back to the surface. I entered Nancy's office and sat down. She was still working on some kind of paperwork and then addressed me.

She had her fingers steepled again when she faced me, "David, as a new employee. I want to see fresh new ideas from you. At least once a day. Twice or more if possible."

"You take that pen and index cards I gave you and you write them up with anything you think that will help productivity here, or if you see there's a safety problem with something. You let us know. We always welcome a new - perspective." and she smiled kindly at me.

"Yes ma'am." I said.

She set her fingers down on the desk, "So have you written up one yet ?"

I shook my head, "No ma'am."

She lifted a pen to point it's tip at me, "Then go back to your cubicle and you think up at least one and put it in your suggestion box. Then you can leave for the day. Oh, and one other thing." and she clackled the pen back on the table noisly. Then she got up from her desk to stand directly in front of me as I was still sitting low in my chair.

I had to crane my neck up to look at her. She spoke in a tone that demanded authority, "The training methods we use here are top-secret. Hush-hush. Priority."

Her eyes bored into mine, "You are NOT to reveal anything you do or see here except that you are a data-entry specialist. If we see you have, you may well find yourself not only in violation of the papers you signed earlier but may have to appear in court for breach of contract."

She tucked a whisp of her hair back behind her right ear and looked at me with a deadly serious expression, "Do I make myself clear, mister ?"

"Yes ma'am." I said fearfully and nodded to affirm that position and then looked down to my feet because I thought that was what I was supposed to do under her intense stare.

She then kneeled down on her knees to meet my eyes and raised my chin up with one finger, "Good. Now go and write up that suggestion and I will see you 8:45am in the morning, back in my office before you begin for the day. You will do this every day you work here, David. Understand ? Don't EVER be late."

I nodded and left. I went back to my cubicle and picked up the fuzzy pom-pom pen and one of the hot-pink index cards. I was supposed to make a suggestion ? But what. Then I thought about it. I had seen the girls with their soda cans and while they were the pull-back kind that left the tab intact, you could still cut yourself on it.

Maybe you could remove the tabs and save yourself the danger from those ?

I took the card and wrote on it in all caps as I had very legible handwriting:


Then I took the index card and headed to my suggestion box. Fortunately there was no traffic from the girl's restroom, which was good, so I put it in the slot at the top of the box there. Then I headed home.

What a curious and busy day ! Naturally when I got home, there was a message on my answering machine and it was from Dad, "Hey Andrew ! So how did your first day of work go ? Give me a call !"

I called up Dad and talked to him, making certain not to mention anything except that I was now a data-entry specialist and I couldn't mention anything about what they were doing or using to train me as I worked there.

Oddly enough, Dad laughed, and said he understood perfectly. When he worked for General Dynamics, it was all very secretive on what he was working on, although I remember later he mentioned they were working on an invisible laser which I thought was pretty cool, but he couldn't give me any more details than just that.

I had Twister Tail, my cat then. He was called that cause Rose found him and the tip of his tail was twisted, apparently from getting run over by a car. He was a great cat though. I fed him, watched a few cartoons on cable TV which back then didn't have commercials, the only reason I would keep it.

I worked on the computer a bit, checked the messages on my BBS (this existed prior to the Internet), and then finally crashed in bed for the night.

The next morning I realized I only had one suit of clothes so I called up Dad early to say that we need to get more business clothes and he agreed, that we did, and after this day of work we'd go and buy some more since I needed to be in a suit each day.

I put on my regular dress pants and dug around in my clothes until I found a good business shirt that I wore for my sister's wedding. Hopefully no-one would say anything. Then I headed for work, fighting traffic on the way.

Also, another thing. Since it required that special round key with the teeth in it to go to my floor, I could only go there by traveling with someone else that was going the same way.

So fortunately I learned the routine of one girl that arrived about the same time I did and never told her that I didn't have a key and always let her do it for me.

After that, I knew how to get to my floor and cubicle now, and saw there really weren't too many people that wanted to come into work this soon. It was still pretty early, a bit before a quarter to 9am, and I saw a yellow stickie on my computer screen. "Come see me, Nancy."

I got up and entered her office. She asked me to sit down and I did, then she began, "David, thank you for your suggestion. A safety one to be sure, and I think it's an excellent idea ! I will announce this later. Keep them coming !" and she gave me a thumbs up.

I smiled back at her. I sat there and looked at for a moment. OK, I got confused again. Where was I supposed to be ?

Fortunately she gave me a soft smile and said, "Scoot," so I left. About 9am there was the horn again and then I heard on the loudspeakers:

"Attention: David W, in 47A has made an excellent safety suggestion. It is now 'company policy' when you purchase your soda to remove the tab on it so you will not cut yourself. Dispose of the tab in the proper receptacle. That is all."

And then it was weird because there was cheering and applause from the women around me who stood up as if I had done something incredible and monumental. Trudy came from around her desk and coaxed me to stand up, "Take a bow, David. You deserve it !" she encouraged me in her quirky cute voice.

I shakily nodded and there was more applause. Someone approached and pinned something on my shirt above my pocket, a little medal maybe ? I couldn't see it with the people crowding around so I pulled back in my chair to look at it.

It was one of those name tags you could write in, and in in bold print were the words, 'Diaper.' on it.

"What the heck ?" I said and started to remove it but the woman who pinned it on me stopped me and said, "David ! What are you doing ! That is a gift for making a good safety suggestion. Don't you get it ?"

I shook my head, baffled as to why anyone would pin the word, 'Diaper' on me. The others crowded around eager to hear the reason.

She smiled wide and everyone got quiet to listen to her explanation, "It's really quite simple. You made a safety suggestion. What goes on a diaper ?"

I shook my head again, "I don't - I - I don't have any kids so I wouldn't -" I started to reply back.

Someone in the back finished for me tartly, "Kids can't have kids."

Another person spoke, "Shush. I want to hear Marjorie's answer on this."

It got quiet and Marjorie, apparently the one who put it on me explained in a nice tone, "David, a safety pin goes on a diaper. Get it ? You are wearing a 'safety pin' because you made a good safety suggestion !"

This had to be the weirdest logic I had ever heard. I shook my head because it actually hurt right now trying to understand that. I might be naive about some things but I wasn't going to do this. "No, that's fine." I said and took it off and set it on my desk. There was a sound of disappointment from the other girls crowding around as I did this.

Marjorie then grabbed the pin to hold it up in my face as if she was going to stick my nose with it and got serious and anxious, "No David !" She looked around fearfully. "You're going to get us all in trouble ! After all it's - " and she paused and then smiled, "'Company Policy' and if you don't like it, you will have to see Nancy about it to get the ruling changed."

Then she took the pin and pinned it back on my shirt patting it down as if it truly belonged there. She added, "Anytime someone sees this, they will know this is a Safety Pin, commemorative of the fact you created a new 'Company Policy' of your own, and a safety one at that !" and she smiled sweetly at me.

Everyone clapped and cheered with her clever logic. I still wasn't liking it and looked down miserably at the 'Diaper' pin. Several girls crowded around and then congratulated me and patted me on my back for my safety suggestion.

Someone even added, "Way to go, diaper boy !" which definitely made me hate the pin even more then.

There was another announcement from Nancy on the loudspeakers who apparently heard the ruckus outside her office, "Okay, that's fine. Now everyone get back to work. We still need to get through all of these forms today, girls !"

Trudy patted me on my back before going back to her cubicle. There was already a fat stack of papers for me to work on but I would get to those LATER ! Right now I needed to see Nancy about this offensive pin I was wearing.

I got up and started to walk down the hall to Nancy's noticing that the girls were all whispering like mad as I did so. I'm not a diaper, I thought gloomily to myself. What do diapers do ? Well, they're full of ... I felt tears come to my eyes. Surely I don't have to wear this stupid thing any longer !

I knocked and Nancy's voice sounded surprised as if she wasn't expecting anyone, "What ? Oh, come in." she said.

I came in and didn't sit down but got right up to her desk and gave her an angry look.

Nancy looked more than cross at me for interrupting her than anything else, "Yes, what is it now David !?"

I pointed to the pin. She looked at it herself and then looked positively furious rising from her seat in rage, "Oh they've going too far now ! Who was it that pinned this on you, David ?"

I tried to remember her name, Marge - Margie something, but I couldn't at the moment. Nancy persisted in my moment of silence, "Do you know WHY they did it ?"

And then I related the story of how it was a safety pin and that it was somehow commemorative of my safety suggestion because diapers are held together by - a safety pin.

Nancy's face screwed up into a kind of smile and it was obvious she was trying hard to suppress laughter. She gave a weird hiccup, but then got serious and crisp again, "Then this is absolutely correct, David. And it is 'Company Policy' as she said it was for awarding it to you."

"Do I have to wear it, ma'am ?" I said eager to be rid of the stupid thing.

Nancy answered carefully, "No, you don't HAVE to wear it, but it IS an honor. I tell you what ? If you wear it all today and come to my office before you clock out today, I'll have something special for you."

In the past she had gotten me little quarter prizes and stuff. I know the things weren't very useful but my ego was so low right now that anything like that would cheer me up. "Yes ma'am !" I said eagerly.

"Well, then it's settled. You wear the pin and I'll have a nice treat for you at the end of the day. Okay, I know you've got some data-entry to do so why don't you get to it and I'll see you later, hun."

I started to leave but she stopped me with a hand wave. I looked over my shoulder imploringly ?

"One more thing." she said and then got up to where I was standing and stepped around me looking down at my waist, finally taking me totally by surprise by grabbing both sides of my belt to tug up on them as looked at my front and back.

She explained, "You need to buy some tighter pants. These are really unacceptable for the workplace. I don't want to see any creases in them the next time I see you tomorrow." and her voice got louder, "Understand, David ? NO CREASES !"

I nodded and left her office and noticed all the whispering had stopped, apparently everyone was quite satisfied I was going to wear the 'Diaper' pin and that it was indeed 'Company Policy' and there was little I could do about it.

I sighed and started my typing, collating the results. As I did so, I noticed several girls all got up in unison and collected in a small crowd to whisper amongst themselves, then they went to Nancy's office, single-file. Maybe they were going to protest me having to wear the pin ? I could only hope.

Lunch passed uneventfully and the horn signaled the end of the day. Before I got up to leave for the day, though I had a lot of ideas, not safety suggestions, that I thought were good ones.

So I wrote one of them down but left the card on my desk, wanting to make sure the women's restroom would be empty of people when I drop it off after I saw Nancy.

Then I returned back to Nancy's office, as I was supposed to before I left for the day, and noticed several other women from the floor all standing around in there and talking. It was a little uncomfortable and I had no idea what was going on.

Nancy could see I was more than a little nervous but spoke in a bright and cheery voice, "David, we were just talking about your safety suggestion and how good it is."

I nodded numbly. I was not happy that there were so many people in her office right now. It also stank, and yes, that was the right word, of perfume in this tight little area with this many women in here all vying to be prettier and smell sweeter than the last, it was a little hard to breathe actually. I coughed quietly at the fumes.

She continued unabated, "Oh, and David, I have something for you." and I saw there was a little badly wrapped Tootsie-Roll candy on her desk. I reached for it but before I could she quickly snatched it up in her own hands and continued, "Doesn't everyone like Tootsie Rolls ?" and the other girls murmured in approval.

Nancy added, "I remember when I was a little girl - and they were a lot cheaper than today. Now it's pretty hard to buy them unless you get them in a bag as a bunch." as she spoke she unwrapped it and held it in her hand.

She held the treat near my face, "Big mouth David, open wide."

Maybe I was zoning out or something, from the hallucinogenic effect of being smathered by too much perfume, but I realized my chin was about to touch her hand and I wasn't paying attention to what she was saying.

"David !" she said suddenly causing me to jerk, "Are you there ?"

I nodded, "Yes ma'am ?"

She pulled back the treat. "David, you're not at work anymore. Off hours, you can just call me Nancy, okay hun ?"

"Ok - Nancy." I said carefully. There was silence so I added shyly, "Well, I'm sorry that - "

But she interrupted me annoyed, "Big mouth." she said again, "Y'know, like this." and she opened her mouth wide to show me.

Someone giggled but another person shushed her. I actually had no idea why this many women were in here right now. All talking about my safety suggestion ? I had no idea I made that kind of impact in the company.

I shrugged and opened my mouth. She tossed the treat in there and wiped her hands on some towels as I guess it was sort of melted. It really didn't taste good, like it had gone horribly bad.

No telling how long that stupid thing was in her desk and had apparently melted too, not at all sweet. I was feeling a little nervous but I didn't want to make her cross, and it was free candy, so I didn't say anything.

All the girls watched me with big smiles on their faces. I froze up in fear at their intent looks. Finally Nancy said, "David." again in that special tone that meant I had better be paying attention, a uniquely cross and attentive voice that I bristled to.

Someone else giggled but a person nearby her else told her to shush.

I was really feeling nervous now. "Yes ma'am ?" I said, with the treat still in my mouth.

Then she was kinder, "Haven't you ever had candy before David ? come on, chew it up so we can get out of here, aren't you ready to go home, sweetie ?"

I've had tootsie roll candy before. I think it's a kind of toffee really but this one really tasted terrible.
The women in there just stared at me with wide eyes and their mouths slightly open in a leer. God girls are weird.

I had difficulty swallowing it, it was so rank and really didn't taste right, almost like rotten and hardened peanut butter with weird clumps in it.

I finally did, then Nancy stepped around her desk and took off the pin on my shirt and held it up in the air while making a weird announcement, "The diaper has done it's duty !" And there was polite applause and laughter on that.

I was really confused, the pin I was wearing somehow ate the candy is what she was literally saying so I asked her out loud without even thinking about what I was saying, "The diaper ate the tootsie, miss Nancy ?" And I pointed to the pin completely confused at her statement.

She looked me in the eyes angrily like she didn't believe what I just said or thought I was teasing her, but then saw I was being sincere in my question and confusion.

Then she smiled really nicely and said, "Yes, David, and you can go home now, I'll hang on to your amazing pin for you and if you come up with another good safety suggestion, you can wear it again, and you'll get another sweet roll, just like this one, okay ?"

I didn't think it tasted that sweet, and I swallowed hard hoping I wouldn't 'earn' another but I said, "Ok, thanks - Nancy." I said, finally remembering we were off-hours.

"Scoot." she said, and I walked out as the girls continued to talk to Nancy about other important business things and they closed the door behind me so I couldn't hear. I returned to get my suggestion and put it in the suggestion box before driving home.

I think about that now and maybe they were teasing me ? But my problem is at that age I literally believed anything anyone ever told me so maybe that's why I was so likeable in big businesses, because I didn't question anything ? And this one clearly was run apparently and entirely by women.


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what the!! it sounds like you worked i a place where there were just fiends. i don't like typical girls at, gossiping queens and having so high esteem of themselves...i and my friend Vaishnavi despise them. people like them thinks of being superiors to others likes making a fool out of others just for their entertainment. i bet i would have just slapped that girl for putting on that clip. sorry, but sometimes i really cab't control my aggression. i speak up when i see wrong. it's unbearable.

Posted 6 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


6 Years Ago

There were only two people there I think that looked out for me. And even then I think they were a l.. read more


what the!! it sounds like you worked i a place where there were just fiends. i don't like typical girls at, gossiping queens and having so high esteem of themselves...i and my friend Vaishnavi despise them. people like them thinks of being superiors to others likes making a fool out of others just for their entertainment. i bet i would have just slapped that girl for putting on that clip. sorry, but sometimes i really cab't control my aggression. i speak up when i see wrong. it's unbearable.

Posted 6 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


6 Years Ago

There were only two people there I think that looked out for me. And even then I think they were a l.. read more
Ok..Can I say that you worked in a place that could be called simply Army Camp?Nancy is not a Mistress because she takes care of her sub..Nancy is a kind of abuser to David..please..I can0t even think about the diaper a normal place of work, that it's called public humiliation..they keep treating David like he was a toy..

Posted 6 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


6 Years Ago

I guess what I need to remember is back then, I was a lot more trusting and naive than I am today. I.. read more
Haha. I loved it. So sorry about that tootsie roll. Sounds disgusting. :P
Nancy's interesting. One second she's talking business, the next second she's talking like your a 7 year old...
I you hadn't already said so about 5 times, i probably wouldn't believe this is a true story. It sounds to... wow. Haha. A government job, a manager who switched moods constantly, and a diaper pin? Jeez...

ANYWAY... the story is very well written (of course). The description, as usually, is amazing. Everything is so vivid and REAL. The dialogue is so natural I think I would say the exact same things, and the characters... some make me laugh, so make me irritated, some make me surprised... it's all so real, like I'm watching the whole thing with my very own eyes...

Phenomenal job. :)

Posted 6 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


6 Years Ago

I think back on it - maybe they were testing me, to really see if I would quit after all that crazin.. read more

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