Chapter Sixteen: Realization

Chapter Sixteen of Hold Your Peace

    I continued seeing Ryan. We couldn't resist each other. He was like a magnet, and I was a piece of metal. One Saturday, I decided we needed to spend some time with our other friends. I'd barely spoken with Kimmy or Laurel in a while, so we decided to take a day to go shopping.

   "I need earrings." Kimmy was counting all the money that resided in her Coach purse. "Erin, when's your next date with Ryan? We can get you something nice."

    "Honestly, I don't know." I lied. We were meeting at the movies this weekend. "I'm sure it will be soon, though."

    "Do you feel sorry for Rachel?" Laurel laughed, already anticipating the cruel answer.

    "Not one bit." I shook my head. "She totally deserves whatever happens to her. Besides, Ryan and I are in love. No one can change that, not even Rachel Pole."

    "We're passing a bridal shop," Kimmy pointed ahead. "Erin, scan the place and choose your future wedding dress."

    "Very funny." I giggled.

    As we passed, I saw someone trying on a dress in the window.

    Rachel.

    The dress was ugly, and clashed with her.

    "Speak of the devil," I motioned to the store.

    "Let's go in!" Laurel dragged us inside.

    We stood behind coat racks, glaring at Rachel in her dress. Okay, the dress was beautiful. She just didn't look good in it.

    "Mom, I'm so excited." she let a tear fall. "I've been waiting for my wedding my whole entire life. I can't believe I'm actually marrying Ryan!"

    "I'm so happy for you," her mother hugged her.

    I recognized Rachel's sister, Lisa, sitting in a chair across from her. Lisa had been at all of our choir concerts, and our graduation.

    "As long as Erin doesn't do anything drastic." Lisa's nasily voice added. She rolled her far-apart eyes and crossed her legs.

    "I'm sure she won't. She's not evil, we just have never gotten along." Rachel defended.

    Since when did Rachel defend me?

    "Well, she was with Ryan, for like five years wasn't she?" Lisa reminded her.

    It was six. Get your facts straight.

    "Six." Rachel corrected. "Anyways, she's not all bad. We've come to an understand, but I just had to be assertive."

    I never agreed to anything?

    "Anyways," Rachel changed the subject. "No one can take this away from me. The only thing I've ever dreamt about is getting married. I couldn't be happier."

    I saw a tear tumble down her cheek.

    Damn it.

   "I have to go." I immediately left the building rushing straight for my car. Kimmy and Laurel could shop without me.

    I had been right about one thing. Ryan was my soul mate. I loved him so much. This wasn't about competition. What I failed to realize was that Rachel was a real person, with real feelings. I didn't take that into consideration. Really, I was just being unfair, and selfish. I wasn't this girl.

   When I reached Ryan's house, I worked hard at keeping the tears back. I knocked solemnly on the door.

    "Hey," he beamed at the sight of me, inviting me in. "What's wrong?"

    "We need to talk." I took a seat on his couch.

    This was the hardest thing I'd ever had to do.

    "What's up?" he took a seat next to me and placed a hand on my back.

    He melted my heart. I loved him too much for my own good.

    "I saw Rachel today. She was trying on wedding dresses." I began and took a deep breath. "I realized what we're doing is very wrong."

    "Why?" he questioned.

    There was no way I could look Ryan in the face.

    "It's not fair, Ryan." I felt the tears welling. I gulped to keep them away. "We're being selfish. Rachel has feelings, and we haven't considered them. I can't keep seeing you. As much as I hate her, it's just not right."

    "Erin," he began to argue.

    "Ryan." I stopped him. "I know you love me. I love you, too. It's not fair to keep messing around, and I don't want anything else to do with it. I think from now on, we should just keep our distance."

    It took him a moment before he spoke again.

    "Erin," he sighed and placed a hand on my knee. "I love you enough to let you go, if it's for the best. It's hurtful, but I know it's the right thing. We've just been in denial."

    "I'm glad you understand." I smiled weakly, looking into his eyes. I'd never loved anyone this much. "Goodbye."

    He kissed my cheek and lead me out the door.

   

Author's Note

This is the end of the book.





Just kidding:) Feedback is appreciated:)

Reviews

[Kelly M.]

It is true-- Rachel does have her own feelings, but he's not the right guy for her! Oh, if only she could find another guy.... then Erin could get married to Ryan and everything would be perfect. :)

[hannajade]

omg, this is getting intense~! great job!

[L.A.]

Whoa, lol. At first I thought you were serious when you said this was the end. I was like, "Nooooooo :(". :P

This is really good!