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Innocent Girl

Innocent Girl

A Chapter by Luna

This one just kinda came to me. Thank classical music,

Innocent girl
With stars as eyes
Tries to dive.
She misses the mark
And the innocent girls
Hopes go up in flames.
As time flies by
She tries and she tries,
She wonders why
And begins to cry.
Over the years,
Her innocence dies
And her hopes return.
The stars in her eyes
Burn brighter for sure.
She dives again
And meets her mark,
Making her eyes glow
With a happier spark.

© 2010 Luna

Author's Note

This one is a bit odd. Tell me what you think!

My Review

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I am very sorry. I found this RQ now.. But I am here and review it. thanks goodness this wonderful poem found an happy end. I feel sort of sad when there is no happy end. It had a smooth rhyme scheme..On the beginning there is this interior turmoil between subjects and impact on the girl after this as contrasting perceived course the unloading, peaceful exterior world on the end. I liked it.

Posted 9 Years Ago

it's not that odd at all..well, at least for me.. i like it. the rhythm is good. nice job.. :)

Posted 9 Years Ago

I have a weird taste, and I thought the rythem was like, boom boom boom, awsome! A second chance, a second life, you know! YEAH!

Posted 9 Years Ago

It is awsome i love it!

Posted 9 Years Ago

Very nice! it flows well, and I think a lot of us girls can relate :-)

Posted 9 Years Ago

I like it . The way it flows and tells a story good job

Posted 9 Years Ago

It is beautiful. brief and to the point. Not a word wasted. I love the hope that you end the poem with. Little lost girls need hope more than anything else in the world. I haven't read rhyming poem in a long time and you just restored my interest in the rhythm and rhyme. Keep writing about her...

Posted 9 Years Ago

Dear Luna, you may like to rhyme but this poem is rhyming just fine. Maybe it is something you are good at, because like the poem says you are hitting your mark each and every time. I think the poem is very good :)

Posted 9 Years Ago

I like this I think it's wonderful.

Posted 9 Years Ago

That was very interesting but I understood it. Great job.

Posted 9 Years Ago

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11 Reviews
Added on December 28, 2009
Last Updated on February 1, 2010



Civil War Capital, VA

I am a helpless romantic who also loves to attempt to write romance adventure (my novel Maiden Voyage for example) but I tend to try to stick more to poetry. I am southern (yes, I do have an accent) a.. more..

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