Thirteenth letter; Broken Promises

Mark feels the urge to write Brandy again even though he promised not to write her again

Dear Brandy, 

I hope this letter finds you at well, I can only imagine you being surprised opening this letter, I know you were not expecting any letters from me, specially that you didn't call or send any letters although I sent you our cafe's address, but here I am sending you another letter, breaking a promise I took long time ago.

I don't know why I'm writing you, but I had this strong urge to write and I couldn't find better person to write except for Brandy, and to be honest I've been breaking many promises lately, I couldn't keep my promise not to drink, here I am now with bottomless bottles of whiskey endless cigarettes and a piece of paper, moving from a dark room to a bad lit office, even after Leo and I made our dream come true, here I am working as a news editor again, yes, I got back to counting dead and analyzing political schemes, I have left our business to Leo, it is going well but I had to leave it for a while, for more money and more time, I needed both, I thought they would make me happy, specially that I had someone in my life.

I have met this amazing young woman called Amy, we got together so fast I felt that she would be the one, she almost had everything I wanted, except for one thing that killed our relation; trust, she couldn't trust me, so we broke up after not many weeks then moved to another town, I don't blame her; after all I didn't have much time nor money to spend on her, and that was stressful to me, so I decided to let go before we both get attached, I'm fine now, don't worry about me, I'm not drinking to forget her, we're still friends, her and I, we write each others every now and then, I'm only drinking to wash down my lonesome, my wilderness and my regret, it helps me to forget the blood I see in photos reporting some people dead in a massacre, it helps me to forget that I've left the outdoors to be stuck in places I don't even like, and it helps me to forget the broken promise I gave Amy; A smile a day, I couldn't keep that promise among many others.

Brandy I broke many promises; I stopped writing songs, I stopped playing guitar and I stopped praying for you every night at 3:33 since I met her, although good things happened to me many times at exactly 3:33, and your name rushed into my head every time something happened, but I couldn't allow myself to pray for you, just to be loyal, but sadly that wasn't enough, and now I'm lost for some reason, although I'm in control of my life, I have a good job, a nice house and I get extra money from the cafe, although I don't see Leo and Sharon often, I don't even see anyone lately, it's been over a month since I called home, although I promise my mother to get back once everything goes well, but I can't stop this chain of broken promises.

I wonder how are you doing now, what has life done of you, it's been a while Brandy, and for a while I did forget you, but I couldn't forget the comfort I feel writing you these letters and the ease I felt every night at 3:33am, and the times I say "I have to go now" and what comes after that, except for this time; I have nothing more to say as I'm opening another bottle of whiskey so I could sleep tonight, it's not 3:33am yet, but I will wake up at that time to the sound of that music box, I will pray for you then, I don't know when will I write you again and I don't know if I'll write you again, but until you read my next letter, even if I didn't send any, be sane and be well.

Yours truly,

 Mark.

Reviews

[B. Maaitah]

I love Letters to Brandy... they are my favorite work of yours ... and I had forgotten about the 3:33 am thingie :( it was so nostalgic to read about it.. aaaand as always Kilani, epic emotions and great piece .. keep it up :D ... it was a pleasant surprise

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good letter. I like letters. Always a personal touch to a letter. I like the use of time and memory in the poem. The strong description gave life to the letter. Thank you for the excellent letter.
Coyote

[olla]

I enjoyed reading this.. there are a few gramatical errors but perhaps you intended them.. if did help form a mental image of the writer..

[M.Kilani]

glad you did, and yeah those grammatical errors are intended, but thanks for pointing that out... feel free to read the other 12 letters you'd enjoy them as well.