When The Devil smiles

Chapter Fifteen

15

 

Journal. # 458.

 

It has been three days now into our intensive search. Many fear the worse, and I know what has come. We went out again early today, and searched the vast waters. I have not slept in nearly 36 hours. I am weak, but certain we will find them. It feels as though God has forsaken me, I gather those words, more like summoned. I try to forget, but they never let me.

Tony… Where are you? Why must I talk to a book, it is one who will never abandoned me. I trust you my friend, please don’t leave me. I must be losing it; I am talking to a damn book and waiting for a response. I am my own conscience, my own friend. I am my own worst enemy. Why must I torture myself?

Poor Riana, she has more to weep for than I. Why is it this way? And why didn’t he take a radio? Why Tony? You stupid fool, why didn’t you take the radio? Questions race through my mind, tears are in my eyes. I plead for forgiveness, for justice on my own soul, yet I feel forgotten. And the devil smiles at me in my daydreams. I see him sitting there, on the stern of the boat.

            Taunting me he does, that little laugh. Sounds like the joker himself, or is it me all this while. I don’t know if I am awake or sleeping. I haven’t touched food in days. I hunger not. I sometimes wonder if I am dead, I feel lifeless. A walking zombie, and I are doomed to walk the earth this way. I’m tired and weak, but I have to find them. It’s my only priority. I must not show weakness, not show I have given up. I’m not giving up. I can’t sleep. My soul won’t let me. Not until I find them, not until I find them.

Reviews

[Lily Mae]

xo

[Norma M Sutton]

Sadly no amount of denial or remorse can change the facts. You do a good job in capturing that.