Day 1

Day 1

Of course it didn’t go as planned. I’m sure this laptop will not bring me the unparalleled joy that I imagined, however, I am sure that it will work eventually and that I am making a fuss about nothing, I am just anxious, I always am.

I don’t know when it started and I f*****g hope it will end, but ever since my balls dropped and my IQ shot in the opposite direction I have been plagued by unrelenting anxiety. Why? Well I must have been a killer in a previous life and therefore do not deserve the simple pleasure of stupidity.

Let me give you an example, as I am writing this on a laptop that does not want to f*****g reboot, I am worried about suicide. Don’t misunderstand, I am not suicidal, I am just petrified by the fact that I, if I wanted to, could kill myself. This fear makes me depressed and depression ironically could lead to suicide. This makes me even more anxious! I don’t want to die! I am afraid of ending my life. Hilariously this is but one of the many examples of anxiety throughout my short 17 years and 364 days on this miserable little rock.

Being an over thinker, however, has some advantages. I did well in school with little to no effort, I am hilarious despite what my book thus far might suggest and I have an enormous penis, but that is unrelated. Now in this piece of work you will be taught everything that I know about life, politics, social issues, love, media and any other subject which could possibly give me an opportunity to cunningly show how clever, sweet and romantic I am. The format of my X-amount of pages of rambling will be in the form of page long, diary-type entries, starting today on 3 November.

Tomorrow is my 18’th birthday.

Author's Note

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