Day 5

Day 5

I don’t feel well today, not only do I have a massive headache and a bloated stomach, but I also have to study for chemistry, a few hundred pages need to be absorbed into my brain and I can’t even bear to look at them. This terrible feeling might be a physical manifestation of some of the newest range of psychological issues I’ve been having.

Next year I’m going to study accounting. The end goal that I had in mind was me being in a suit and charging people insane amounts of money to save their miserable companies, however, since I have not been terribly happy lately I have started to worry about something, (counterproductive, I know,) and that something is happiness, I am worried that I will be this miserable forever! Being an accountant is a good career move and until about a week ago university life, studying a difficult yet rewarding course and moving into Boekenhout (a hostel) all seemed immensely exciting. Now, however, my weakened state of mind is trying to convince me that those things won’t make me happy.  

I am actively tuning the instrument of my despair and it’s incredibly frustrating. I have what others would kill for, and here I am with no idea how to smile about it and just be happy. Therefore what I decided to do, is nothing. Bear with me (Yes I know it’s difficult). I believe most of what is happening to me is somewhat normal, since every time I have ever had an emotional issue and, like most people, I eventually ended up Googling it, a million similar cases revealed themselves. I therefore know I will be fine and dandy eventually, like all things I have struggled with in my life, a little time just needs to pass.

After all, It’s all in my head.

As for this chemistry, you are going down you little f**k, just let me drink some rooibos tea first. As for my future, you’re next.

Author's Note

please review critically