Advertise Here
Want to advertise here? Get started for as little as $5
chapter 4

chapter 4

A Chapter by minnie:)

                                 "Haven't I seen you before?"
                                 I froze stiff at the sound of his voice. I slowly turned around to face him. Jake was leaning against a tree, breathing heavily from running. I didn't answer, I took off running again. Jake was right on my tail until I made a turn on a dock, not bothering to remove my skirt I dove into the water. I heard Jake dive in behind me, I started swimming faster but stopped when I saw him swimming next to me. I was completely under water and swimming with my eyes open. I swam to the surface, letting in a deep breath when I was above water.
                                  Jake appeared next to me and I let out a yelp. He started laughing. "Wow, you can run. And aren't you that girl from the ice cream shoppe?"
                                  "Um, huh?"
                                   "Aren't you that girl from the ice cream shoppe? I think I gave you another scoop for free."
                                   "Uh, I think so."
                                   "Figured, so why are you stalking me?" He asked jokingly.
                                   "Stalking you? All I was doing was walking around but I stopped when I heard you playing your guitar."
                                    "Then why were you hiding behind a tree."
                                    I felt my face getting warm and my cheeks started to turn red.
                                    That, uh, I can't explain."
                                    "Uh huh. Well that says a lot."
                                    "Okay fine. My dad used to sing that song to me when I was a kid whenever I couldn't sleep or when I had a nightmare. Happy?"
                                     "Really? What's the name of the song?"
                                     "I can't remember, it's been like ten years since I've heard it."
                                     "It's called More Beautiful You by Johnny Diaz."
                                     "Finally! I remember the name of the song! That has been grating my nerves!"
                                     Jake started to laugh. "What?" I asked.
                                     "Nothing. So do you have a guitar?"
                                     "Yeah, I've got one. Bought it just the other day." Great now I have to go buy a guitar. I thought to myself.
                                     "Thing is I don't know how to play."
                                     "Really? Well maybe I could teach you."
                                     "Are you sure? I'm hard to teach." I joked.
                                     "I'm sure I can handle it. By the way, I never got your name."
                                     " It's Lizzy."
                                     "Lizzy huh? Pretty name."
                                     I felt my cheeks getting warm and I started to blush.
                                    "You OK?" Jake asked.
                                    "Yeah, why do you ask?"
                                    "Your face is blood red. Are you blushing?"
                                    "Um, no?"
                                    Jake started to laugh. I dove under water started to swim away. I finally stopped and let myself float on my back. Jake appeared next to me, swaying his arms like he was flying so he could move.
                                    "So, what made you want to play the guitar?"
                                    I blurted out my answer before I could stop it. "You."
                                    I automatically felt my face turn red. I looked at Jake and noticed his face his face was literally purple. I turned on my stomach and swam away as fast as I could, I heard Jake catching up and I swam faster.
                                    I reached land and ran to my bike, jumping on I started to ride away. I guess he snagged Kristy's bike because I heard him behind me trying to catch up.
                                    I made a turn into the woods and without skipping a beat I jumped off of my bike and climbed the nearest tree. I saw Jake park Kristy's bike next to mine, he started to look around.
                                   I climbed a little higher but my hiding spot was blown when some bark scraped off of the tree and landed in Jake's hair. Looking down I noticed Jake was climbing up.
                                   I climbed another two branches and stopped to take a breath. I looked down and noticed Jake was sitting on the branch I just left. He looked up towards me and I looked away.
                                   "Man, how can you climb this thing?" Jake asked breathless.
                                   "Great reflexes, my dad and I've been climbing trees since three years old."
                                   "Your dad taught you how to climb trees at three?"
                                   "Yes, he also taught me how to get around the branches that are hard to climb and how to spot the weak ones."
                                   "Okay, and how are you able to run so fast?"
                                   "Me and my dad raced around the neighborhood when I was four, I've been running ever since."
                                   "The whole neighborhood?"
                                   "Yeah, I beat him once but that was because he fell and twisted his ankle." I smiled at the memory and decided to play one of us together in my mind.
                                    My dad walked out the front door in a white tee and his favorite navy blue jean shorts. His hair the usual black but his skin made him look like he was from Florida. I was playing in the sandbox, I looked up as he walked towards me.
                                   "Daddy!" I stood up and ran towards him. I outstretched my arms so he could pick me up. I was in the air and my dad was spinning in circles.                          
                                  "Lizzy! How's my baby girl?"
                                  "I'm good Daddy." He hugged me and put me down. "Where's Kristy? I thought you two had a play date?"
                                  "She's sick, her mom had to take her to the doctor." I sat back down in the sandbox and started  to build my own sandcastle. Dad sat next to me and flattened the sand. He picked up a stick and started to draw my name. I grabbed a stick that sat next to my foot and drew a very sloppy "daddy" in the sand.
                                  "Hm, it's missing something." Dad said as he studied my drawing.
                                   "What's missing?"
                                    He drew a smiley face next to my picture.
                                   "There. Now it's finished."
                                    I looked at him and gave him a smile, then it disappeared.
                                    "What's wrong."
                                    "I'm bored. There's nothing to do."
                                    "Tell you what, how about we do our own little thing."
                                    "Like what?"
                                    "Lets take a walk around the neighborhood, just me and you. Kind of like father, daughter time." He looked at what I was wearing. I had on a pink and white dress with flowers on it and a pair of white flats.
                                    "Why don't you go change into a shirt and jeans and put on some sneakers."
                                   "Okay." I ran inside and headed towards my room where my mom met me in the hallway.
                                   "Now what do you think you're doing?" She asked playfully
                                   "I'm going to my room to change into a shirt, jeans and sneakers."
                                   "Oh?" She bent towards me and whispered in my ear. "If you tell me what Daddy's got planned I'll give you a dollar."
                                   "Me and Daddy are going to take a walk around the neighborhood."
                                   "That's it?"
                                   "Yup." I said with a giant smile on my face.
                                   "Alright go change." I held out my hand to remind her of her promise. She looked at my hand to remind me of her promise. She looked at my hand and rolled her eyes playfully. She reached in her pocket and pulled out a dollar. She handed it to me.
                                    "Thanks Mommy!" I ran to my room and changed.
                                    A few minutes later I ran out the front door expecting to see my dad sitting on the porch waiting for me, when I made it outside he was nowhere in sight.
                                    "Daddy?" I walked to the side of the house. The next thing I knew I was being scooped up. I let out a yelp and laughed when i saw my dad's face. He put me down and started to tickle me, I laughed so hard my face turned blood red.
                                     "Daddy stop!" I said laughing. We stood up and Dad picked me up. "Lets get going on that walk." He put me down and we left the house.
                                 I felt a tear slide down my cheek and I quickly wiped it away. Jake was sitting on the branch about five inches in front of me.
                    "You OK?"
                    "Yeah, I'm fine."
                   I climbed down the tree, when I reached the bottom branch I jumped off, Jake followed. I got on my bike and was about to take off when Jake stopped me.
                   "Hey Lizzy."
                   I turned to face him. "Yeah?"
                   "How about you come over to the ice cream shoppe tomorrow at around three, that's my break, maybe I could teach you how to play guitar."
                  I gave him a smile. "Sure, sounds good."
                  "Oh and uh, sorry for stealing your friends bike."
                  "It's fine, she'll forget about it eventually. I just hope she's still at the river."
                  "What happens if she's not there?"
                  "I'll have a lot of explaining to do."
                   The sun started to set as we rode back to the river. When we made it there Kristy was still laying on the ground. She's fallen asleep and now she was sunburned on her stomach, legs, and arms.
                    Jake and I said our goodbyes and went our separate ways, well, until tomorrow anyway.
                    I woke Kristy up by splashing water on her face. After her telling me not to fall asleep tonight we headed home.
                    We made it home about ten minutes later. We walked in the house to the smell of freshly made popcorn and sodas on the table and a bunch of candy.
                   "Hey guys." Alley said.
                   "Hey." I replied "Getting ready for the movies?"
                   "Yeah, you guys go wash up and I'll start the movie when everyone is ready."
                  "Alright. I have to help Kristy put aloe on anyway. She got sunburned."
                  "It's not that bad and I wouldn't have gotten sunburned if you would have woken me up."
                  We went back to my room. I changed in my closet, Kristy changed in the open. When I finished getting dressed I waited for a few minutes before coming out in case Kristy wasn't finished.
                 A few minutes later I came out of the closet when Kristy walked in with a bottle of aloe. She sat on my bed and squirt some lotion on the palm of her hand and started to rub it on her skin. "You don't need help?" I asked.
                  "Nah, I'm fine."
                  "Okay."
                  "Change of topic. Kristy said. "I wanna ask you something. But first come sit down." I went over and sat next to Kristy.
                  "What's up?"
                  "You're hiding something, and you have been for a while now."
                   "What are you talking about?"
                   "Oh don't play that bull. I know where it is."
                   "You know where what is?"
                 I started to feel nervous, I had a feeling Kristy was talking about my safe. I knew I was right when she got up from the bed and walked to my cena poster, she lifted it up and revealed my safe.
                 She looked at the back of the poster where I wrote my password in case I forgot it. She punched in the code and opened the door, revealing a giant wad of cash and my diary. She grabbed my diary, closed the safe and sat back on my bed.
                  Kristy flipped my diary open to the first page and began to read to herself.
                  After sitting in silence for two or three minutes she finally looked up from reading. My face was red with embarrassment because I already knew what she read.
                  "Well....." She paused. "Three years huh?"
                  "Um." I scratched the back of my neck.
                   Kristy flipped to the last page I had filled out. I recorded what happened today in my diary which meant she knows I have a crush on Jake.
                  I finally brought up the courage to speak and this is what I said, "How, for one, did you find my safe and two, why did you read my diary.?"
                 "Well, the answer to your first question is, when we were getting ready to go when I walked in and saw you looking like you saw a ghost, I saw behind you that your poster stuck out a little. So when you left the room I looked behind the poster and saw the safe. It wasn't closed all the way so I looked in it and nearly passed out when I saw a giant bundle of cash, then I saw your diary. The answer to your second question is, well, you know me. I see a diary, I read it."
                 I gave her a straight face. She got back to her point. "But that's not important. What's important is what's in here." She said waving my diary in my face. "Why didn't you tell me?"
                  "I don't know." My face started to turn red. Kristy started to laugh.
                  "What?" I asked.
                  "To be honest I wouldn't have been able to hold that in for three years. Nonetheless three minutes."
                   "What are you thinking right now?" I asked, my face getting warmer.
                                                        "To be honest I think it's pretty cool?"
                                                        "Really?" I asked confused. Kristy shrugged.
                                                        "What? Do you think it's weird?" She asked giggling.
                                                        " Well, no, um, actually I really don't know."
                                                        Without any warning at all she leaned over and kissed me. I was to shocked to do anything other than let her finish. When she pulled back my eyes were wide and my face was as red as it has ever been.
                                                      "Um." That was the only thing I could say, I was still embarrassed from Kristy kissing me. Kristy started laughing but her attitude changed almost instantly. I looked at her concerned.
                                                      "What?"
                                                      " I want you to be completely honest with me, okay?" I nodded.
                                                       " Do you or do you not have a crush on ice cream boy?"
                                                      "Jake." I corrected. "His name is Jake."
                                                      "Whatever. That's not what I was talking about. Do you or do you not have a crush on Jake?"
                 I felt my face get warm and blood rising to my cheeks.
                 "I knew it!' Kristy yelled. "I knew you had a crush on him!"
                 I looked at Kristy and I could have sworn I saw jealousy in her eyes.
                "What's wrong with me having a crush on him?" I studied her face for a second. "Wait, are you jealous?"
                Now it was my turn to laugh and Kristy's turn to blush.
                "Why would you think that?" Kristy asked. Her face was as red as blood.
                 "Oh I don't know, just the fact that your face is the color of a cherry." I started laughing again.
                 A couple of seconds later we heard Alley calling for us.
                 "Hey guys! Come on, I'm about to start the movie."
                Kristy grabbed my diary and put it back in the safe.
                "Alright! We're coming! Just a second!" I yelled.
I looked over at Kristy, she was staring at me, her face still red. We stood in silence for no more than two minutes before I spoke.
               "So..." I said scratching the back of my neck. "How about we finish this up tomorrow." I suggested.
               "Yeah." Kristy agreed. "Lets go watch the movie."
               We walked out of my room and headed to the living room. Alley was sitting three cokes, the giant bowls of popcorn and the three giant bowls of mixed candy on the coffee table in the living room.
               Kristy was staring at the food on the table, drool literally dripping out of her mouth.
               "I don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight." Kristy said.
                "You two come sit on the couch, I'll play the movie." Alley said.
                "I'm gonna go grab a blanket." I said. I walked to the hall closet and grabbed a giant blanket. I walked back to the living room and plopped down next to Kristy, she had already started eating her candy and popcorn. I saw the title of the movie on the TV screen, it said "The Grudge."
                "Well so much for me getting any sleep tonight." I said. "Just the title of this movie sends chills down my spine." Kristy and Alley laughed.
                  
            

                             


© 2013 minnie:)


Author's Note

minnie:)
Tell me what you think so far of the story! :)

My Review

Would you like to review this Chapter?
Login | Register




Reviews

Always entertaining,
Minnie you are a most gifted writer in pulling the reader right into the moment of your stories beginning in this chapter. You have such a way with making a reader feel apart of the on going situation for Lizzy. Your conversation structures may be a bit off, I'm not sure grammar is not my strong suit. I did a couple of critiques and I hope they help in anyway. Here it is...

"Great reflexes, my dad and I've been climbing trees since (I was) three years old."

I was might fit in here well.

"Alright go change." I held out my hand to remind her of her promise. She looked at my hand to remind me of her promise. She looked at my hand and rolled her eyes playfully. She reached in her pocket and pulled out a dollar. She handed it to me.

Way to many looking at hands going on?

"The next thing I knew I was being scooped up. I let out a yelp and laughed when (i) saw my dad's face."

The i needs to be capitalized.

"Kristy flipped to the last page I had filled out. I recorded what happened today in my diary which meant she knows I have a crush on Jake."

The story has been pretty back to back in it's events, when did she have the time to write in the journal? This is what came to mind for me.

"Now it was my turn to laugh and Kristy's turn to blush"

Perhaps Kristy's face to begin to blush or something of that nature might read out better.

If any, problems aside I still find this a very enjoyable read. i think that might not be okay for a man approaching his thirties or it is a testament to your skill in evolving a very captivating story. Either way I love it and look forward to more. I also apologize for my delay, I do get caught up with this and that from time to time.
Keep the good writing coming.
Sincerely
Christopher

Posted 10 Years Ago


minnie:)

10 Years Ago

Thanks for the review, and when I have time I'll try and go back and fix the story :)
~Minnie
The flash back was beautiful, I love jake's commitment and curiosity :D and Lizzy's nature it's innocent and refreshing. A very cool write and it feels so real like I could be friends with these people. :D awesome sauce.

Posted 11 Years Ago


minnie:)

11 Years Ago

lol, thanks :)

Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

143 Views
2 Reviews
Rating
Added on April 13, 2013
Last Updated on April 18, 2013


Author

minnie:)
minnie:)

griffin, Georgia



About
My name is Minnie, I'm 15 years old, I've been writing since 4th grade and I have loved every second of it. I write about anything, mostly what pops into my head. I hope to get some of my stories publ.. more..

Writing
Chapter 1 Chapter 1

A Chapter by minnie:)


Chapter 2 Chapter 2

A Chapter by minnie:)


Chapter 3 Chapter 3

A Chapter by minnie:)



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Chapter 5 Chapter 5

A Chapter by minnie:)