Chapter 24- Caius Ashfall

Chapter 24- Caius Ashfall

A Chapter by Cynical_Art

Chapter 24


Caius Ashfall



The audience erupted into cheers and claps, shouting Ismailia Loucelles’s name in celebration. Her voice was heavenly, Caius had to admit. And the words of the song, which Caius had heard in church numerous times before, were divine. But coming from a True Believer it was the most ungodly thing he had ever heard. They pervert the Church with their illusory devotion.

Allen Durandal didn’t seem to share Caius’s distaste. “Hard to believe how that fat f**k fathered such an angel.”

Allen was a wealthy Judician who found his way into the Shadow due to family tradition. His grandfather had been a Mentor, and his father was currently a Mentor in a Judimia branch. Like good loyal Judicians, Allen didn’t question why who was where in the hierarchy, he simply obeyed whoever was above him.

Before Caius had ascended to Mentor, they had both been equals under Charles. As the line of succession in the Shadow would have it though, when a Mentor was replaced, all his Nights would transfer over to maintain the same level of familiarity and communication. Generally this worked since the Night that ascended to Mentor was usually the longest serving Night and most respected amongst his fellow Nights, but for Caius that had never been the case.

Caius had not only served the least amount of time in his Shadow branch, but he was also the youngest, and youngest Mentor in history. He had always received envious spite for being Charles’s Star Night, but none questioned Charles as they did him, so it had never raised an issue before. Upon his ascension, many thought him unfit, claiming that skill aside, he didn’t have what it took to lead. Fortunately, Allen Durandal was not one of those. Which was why he now stood as Caius’s Star Night.

Caius warned him, “Keep in mind, that’s the daughter of Alistair Loucelles. I could list a million reasons why you shouldn’t get any ideas.”

Allen laughed. “I know, I know. Besides, I know enough to know that beautiful women are the most dangerous.” A fact I know too well.

Caius stopped looking at the stage and its infuriating audience. He couldn’t fathom how the Azure Palace could be a den of True Believers. The Azure Kingdom was filled with the type of scum that no world order would want roaming about. To claim to serve and worship God while investing in this business was the biggest hypocrisy Caius had ever laid eyes upon.

The cryst drug trade was hideous. Like all drugs, it depended on the addiction of the consumer to keep the market running. But cryst became your life. Once the body got used to crystallite flowing through its veins, there was no turning back. Deprive it, and the person became insane. Give too much, and the person literally became a crystal. Some of the ones who became crystals sometimes contained shards of living crystallite. These victims, the dealers would find, kill, rip the shards from their body, turn it back into cryst, and sell it to the next victim.

Allen leaned over their table and whispered, “How do you think Felicia is doing? She wasn’t too happy about her role in all this. Think I should go check up on her and make sure she’s holding out?”

“No,” answered Caius, coldly. “We don’t want to raise any suspicion. We have a scheduled meeting at the inn today. She can voice her situation then.”

Allen sighed and leaned back, “I think I’m going to head to the pub in second floor then. As beautiful as Ismailia is, and as much as I love God, I can’t bear another religious song. It’s like a cult in here.”

The fourth floor in the Azure Palace was known as the theater. Its structure was very different from the first three floors, which all generally had the interior appearance of a tavern, a very large tavern. The theater room had a flat elevation upon the entrance, descending forwardly with line after line of chairs, all staring towards a fancy stage with big red curtains. From the back, Caius gazed at the audience sitting in lines, brainwashed. “That’s because it is…”

Allen stood up from his seat. “Do I have your leave, Simon?”

            Caius waved him off. “Just stay out of trouble, Roderick.”

            One of the servant girls walked by and placed a glass of wine in front of Caius. Caius gladly took it, despite having put an end to his drinking days. One glass of wine never made anyone do anything stupid. Since Liana’s betrayal he had vowed to never allow himself to become weak enough for his carnal urges to take control of him again. Despite being sober at the time, it had been a foolish mistake, and one he would never make again.

            It seemed almost an eternity ago that he had tried to sleep with his father’s wife. Back then he had underestimated Liana on all accounts. Even after suspecting her of numerous indecencies, crimes, and thoughts of escape, he thought it beyond her to get the best of him., causing him to selfishly and consciously commit a sin. A sin he paid for adequately. A sin he would see one day redeemed.

            “Sitting alone? How odd. Where’s your bodyguard?”

            Caius looked up and was surprised to see none other than the Azure Prince’s daughter. Her eyes were crystal blue beneath dark brown locks of hair. She had a young, innocent, and angelic face. The kind of face Caius had learned to take extra caution of. Beneath she was wearing a golden shapely dress with a bizarre scarf of white feathers wrapped around her neck, long translucent gloves with feathery patterns, and glass heels. Like a lot of singers, she seemed to have her own style of fashion.

            “He had a craving for stronger drinks,” answered Caius. “To what do I owe the honor of speaking with Ismailia Loucelles?”

            She took a seat across from him where Allen was sitting before. “Curiosity. You’re unlike the rest of my audience. They cheer and clap while you watch from afar, conspicuously unamused. If you have no interest in hearing me sing, why come watch me perform?”

            Caius shrugged. “Your father invited me to come watch. It would’ve been rude to decline.”

            She glared at him. “You’re an audacious little s**t, to tell me that to my face.”

            He met her glare with fearless eyes. “You asked.”

            She broke eye contact, readjusting herself in her seat, quickly changing the subject. “So you’re neither a Loyalist nor a True Believer. Explain to me how that’s possible? You know, there will come a time where you will have to choose one or the other.”

            “If that time ever comes, I’ll choose the one in my best interest.”

            “That’s the most cowardly thing I’ve ever heard in my life,” she blurted.

            Caius smirked. “Cowards tend to live longer than heroes. I like where I stand. How about you, Princess? Where do you stand?”

            “Do you have to ask? I follow the path of God,” she answered, proudly.

            “And this war, is this what God wants?”

            “Of course it’s what God wants. The Fuhrer has tainted the Church and this world with his order. What more reason could you possibly need?”

            “I don’t know. Before this whole issue with the True Believers, the world seemed at peace and my connection to God never once hindered by it.”

            Ismailia observed him suspiciously. “Sounds like the words of a Loyalist.”

            Caius decided to tread back before arousing further suspicion on the matter. “I only stated how things appeared from a simple man’s point of view. I’m far too insignificant to care about world politics. Men like me can’t change the world, all we do is adapt and survive.”

            Ismailia sighed with frustration. “How can you just pretend like none of what’s going on affects you?”

            “As I said, I’m just a simple man with simple needs. I leave the big choices to the big people of the world.”

            “What if your choice could change the fate of the world?”

            “It’d take a really big person to convince me of that.”

            Her eyes lit up suddenly, almost like she just realized something. “How big a person would it take to convince a simple man like yourself?” 

            Caius decided to feed the fire with the most outrageous and daring answer. “I don’t know. Someone like an Archangel descending from the heavens and bestowing me with the mark of a Messiah.”

             As predicted, that struck a nerve. “You don’t believe in the Archangels, do you? You make a mockery of them.”

            “I believe in the ones inside the Holy Grimoire,” he corrected. “As for the ones whispered of within this city, seems like just another outrageous miracle to me.”

            Ismailia restrained her rage, her cheeks red with fury. “They’re real, Simon Gladius…I assure you.”

            Caius chuckled. “In the last town I was in before I came to Eden, a woman had claimed she saw a man disappear before her very eyes. By the time I had arrived, it was all anyone in the town was talking about. A day later, the man who disappeared was found dead…buried in the woman’s backyard.

            “Two towns before that, a man who sold animals claimed he could bring animals back to life. Apparently one of the dogs he had sold to someone was found dead one morning and the man took it home and returned it back to the owner, alive. Turned out the dog he had sold had an identical twin. All he did was switch the dogs…after killing the first one himself.

            “A year back…”

            “I get it!” Her cheeks were the color of roses. “I’m no stranger to the influx of miracles. But the Son of God and the Archangels are real. Every True Believer knows that and so does the Fuhrer. It’s why he’s quarantined Eden.”

            To think Alistair places faith in such unstable individuals. Families are such anchors. He decided he would continue to provoke her. “I had heard those whispers on the way here, but the official story still stands that a Cruorian Queen is hiding in this city. I was in Lumina during the Week of Lament, so as of right now, rebellious Queen sounds more convincing then the Son of God and Archangels reincarnated.”

            “They are-!” She seized her tongue and suddenly cooled down, an eerie smile soon following. “They are real,” she said, calmly. “I’ve seen them, the Archangels. In fact,” she leaned over and whispered, “I’m meeting one three days from now. Inside Gabriel’s Temple.” She leaned back, with a look of satisfaction. If she turns out to be an Archangel, then I am God himself. This is a pathetic, Alistair Loucelles.

            Caius finished his glass of wine. “I am truly flattered that you trust in me in what I assume is very delicate matter. But as I’ve mentioned before, I am but a simple man. Unless the day comes when an Archangel comes to me, I shall refrain from involving myself in the affairs of the big people.”

            Ismailia grimaced. “Is there any redeeming quality to you? You’re going to live a sad and lonely life, Simon Gladius.”

            Caius smirked. “Sorry to disappoint you but I’m already married.”

            “Then I pity whoever she may be.”

            “May I burrow him for a second, Ismailia?”

            Amur Esquiar was standing in front of them. A short Illumian man with a face that looked like it was in constant pain. Whatever life he lived before finding fortune was a tough one. His face was scared, burned, and twisted in ways incapable of emotion. He was easily the most hideous person Caius had ever laid eyes upon.

            Ismailia stood up from her chair. “You may, Amur. I was just done here.”

            After she left, Caius turned his head to face the short man. “To what do I owe your presence?”

            “The Azure Prince wants to see you.” Caius stood up and took his frock coat from the back of his chair. As they were going up stairs, alone, Amur allowed Caius to stand beside him. “It seems the Prince has finally been tempted to use your accessibility for his own ambitions. This could be the chance you’ve been waiting for.”

            It took him long enough. “Any idea what he wants to take out or bring into the city?”

            “He doesn’t trust me any more than he does you. I’m but a mere seeker of talents and information, working solely for myself. He knows that for that right price I’d sell my own mother’s corpse.”

            “A fact I know as well. Keep in mind that the Azure Prince can only pay you with what he has. Remain loyal to us and you shall have all his fortune and then some.”

            Amur did a poor attempt at smiling. “Like I’d forget. I normally stay away from conflicts like these, but the price you offer is one that can tempt even God himself.”

            When they reached the Azure Prince’s throne room, Amur left. The two guards in front of Caius opened the blue gates allowing him through. Inside stood only Alistair, his personal bodyguard and ex-White Coat, Diaxos Allard, and the Prince’s right hand man, Gravur Ilianos.

            Caius bowed. “I was called upon, your Grace?” I can never get used to saying that.

            The Azure Prince raised himself up against his throne. “You have impressed me with your…connections, Simon Gladius. I’ve never held so much white magic in my life before. How you manage to come in and out of this city is still a wonder to me.” The Azure Prince gave a nod to Gravur and the bald man brought forth a chest and opened it. Inside were thousands of coins, all suns from the looks of it. For the love of God, if he’s offering this for just my services, the man must be richer than any of us could’ve ever imagined.

            Alistair rubbed his six chins. “As you can see, it’s a substantial amount of coin.”

            Caius opened his eyes wide in awe, feigning excitement. “You need but tell me the task and see it done.”

            Alistair smiled. “I thought you might see eye to eye with me. The task is simple. I want whatever connections you have to safely get in and out of the city.”

            Caius frowned. “I’m afraid that’s beyond my power. My friends risk enough by smuggling my bodyguard and me alone. Without years of established trust they wouldn’t even help me. However, if you need something aside from my white magic to enter the city, or perhaps see that something comes outside, I could personally see to that. For the right price of course.”

            Gravur shut the chest. “What you offer only deserves a small fraction of the price. What we need is consistency not dependent on the word of an outsider. Give us what you have and we can offer up to twice this sum.”

            Twice this sum! They are significantly richer than we predicted. Assuming they don’t intend on killing me as soon as I give them what they want. “As tempting and mouthwatering as you offer is, those are the only terms I can offer.”

            Gravur turned to the Azure Prince aggravated. “We’ve wasted our time. This is no businessman!”

            The Prince raised a fat chubby hand. “Quiet, Gravure,” he commanded. “I understand your situation, Simon. I myself have been in your said predicament in the past upon my rise to royalty. So let us be reasonable and blunt. I need to see five people inside my city. Are you capable of that?”

            Five people. Archangels? No. He knows he can’t scare me outside these city walls. A risk like that could undo them. Either way, this is my chance to either get closer to him or capture potential high value targets. “That could be possible, yes.”

            “Good. Then if you can smuggle four strangers in, it shouldn’t be a problem to do it whilst beside another stranger.”

“My friends will not do well with someone but me seeing their faces.”

“Can you do it or not?”

            This could all be a trap. If I choose to betray him, I will lose the best lead we have on Caelum Infinitum. If I choose to aid him, I may gain his trust, but at what price. Either way, if I refuse to aid him in this, he’ll soon lose interest in me and all will be lost. “It’ll take a large sum to see my friends to reason, as well as myself.”

“See it done, and you and your friends will never have a need for coin again.”




            “It’s about time you came back,” complained Sia. “I can’t bear another second with this useless servant of yours.”

            Oswald Lightheart stumbled his way to Caius, red with shame. “M-Mentor! I-I promise, I didn’t do anything! Your wife…she just…she wanted…I swear I didn’t do anything.”

            Caius took a deep breath to calm himself as he stepped inside the room. Each time he saw his wife he dreaded the day they were married before the Church. The day holy matrimony sealed the biggest shame of his life until death do him part. “You’ve done good, Oswald. Wait for me with the others.”

            The tall lanky Night sighed with relief. “Thank you, Mentor.” He scurried away in a rush. Caius pitied him for having to deal with Sia for the majority of the day, but he had no one else, and Oswald was still too fresh of a Night to allow in the field.

            Caius closed the door behind him, leaving just him and Sia in the room. He looked at her annoyed. “Did you try to rape him again?”

            Sia glared at Caius with her garnet eyes. Her hair was as fancy and flowery as it ever was, but Caius had made her dye it dark brown to attract less attention. After they got married he also made her dress like a Judician. He was surprised how much she could mimic a proper lady in a real dress. “If my own husband won’t f**k me, I expect someone to.”

            “This isn’t Cruor. Married women don’t sleep with other men.” Caius walked towards the bureau and stood in front of the mirror, wondering how he found himself here.

            “This is bullshit,” she complained. “I married you, I sacrificed my people, so I could live a happy normal life in peace. Not so I could be locked away in some room in an inn with some inept coward of a man, hiding from the world!”

            Caius turned to face her, his face absent of emotion. “I understand that, but these are the circumstances. We’re still fighting a war, and both sides would rather see you dead. Or did you forget that we spend almost an entire year fighting for this to work.”

            Judicium had not taken their marriage lightly. The Week of Lament had revived any hate that might’ve dwindled towards the Cruorians after the Crimson War. Even with the glory attained by Caius in putting an end to Paradise Lost, globally branding him as the Shadow in the Light, his matrimony to a Cruorian transformed his praise into scorn. By marrying Sia he had elevated the bottommost race in the world to a high standing citizen in a Judician society.

            The uproar had spread across every newspaper in every village, town, or city. Many argued that Sia should’ve been shipped to the concentration camps for the rebuilding Cruor in Judicium’s image, as all the other Cruorians were forced to shortly after Paradise Lost fell, but Caius fought for her rights. Despite holding no true love or affection towards her, Caius was still a man of the Church, and thus bound to protect his wife by holy matrimony. But Caius alone could not have saved Sia. Sia was cunning and knew how to shield her life.

            Much like when she forced Caius to spare her life, she did the same to the others who would see her dead. Charles, who would have had her branded a traitor and rebel for once aiding Paradise Lost, was forced to stay his hand along with Judicium’s Sun, who gladly wanted to carry out the justice, because Sia was their best lead on Caelum Infinitum. So for almost an entire year, Sia had Judicium’s officials fight for her rights and public image until she was equal in all but race with her husband. Only after, did she expose Alistair Loucelles as Raphael the Archangel of Greed.

            “I haven’t forgotten,” she said. “But I have less room to breath than when I was in Elysium. I do nothing but sit and read all day and wait for you to return. And we don’t even f**k!”

            “It’s not my fault,” said Caius. “You know I have a resistance to any sexual urges. I’m never in the mood.”

            “It’s not always about you though…”

            That’s where you’re wrong. It’s always about me, it will always be about me. “When we capture the heretic and his godforsaken Archangels, I'll f**k you as many times as you want.”

            His words caused hurt rather than please. “It doesn’t matter…I don’t care anymore. Just do your job and I’ll continue staying out of your way.”

            Caius knew what she really wanted was affection. Even on their wedding night, he only slept with her as part of his duty. But he knew the price of love, and it was something he could never give. He belonged to Judicium and always would, the same as his father. He would not torture Sia with the false hope of what could never be. He would not follow down his father’s footsteps. And yet here I am, placing my wife in a cage for her own safety. Like father like son, I guess, he thought bitterly to himself.

            Caius felt suddenly felt a rush of guilt. “As soon as I get the report from my Nights, I’ll spend the rest of the night with you.”

            Sia chuckled bitterly. “You don’t need to pretend to give a f**k for my sake. I’ll manage. Just don’t end up getting killed by the Archangels. The day you die, my days are numbered.” The couple left it at that.

            Caius went downstairs to meet with his Nights. A trusted wealthy Owner, who dealt who was well acquainted with Charles, owned the inn they stayed at. The inn was four stories high, the top two floors reserved only for exclusive clients. Caius used the top floor for Oswald, Sia, and himself, saving the floor below for his other three other Nights and locale for meetings.

At the central room in the third floor, all four Nights were patiently waiting. The central room had three sofas surrounding a table, in which they were all sitting around. The inn was made of brick and wood, much to the traditional look of Eden as opposed to the tiled floors and smooth walls one would expect from Lumina or Judimia.

Upon their Mentor’s arrival, Oswald Lightheart and Lucia Starfall were the only ones who crossed their arms and saluted. Allen Durandal stood up with his usual casual air while Felicia Mandeville remained seated, only turning her head. Of the four, Allen and Felicia had once stood his equal under Charles. Oswald he’d met as a White Coat two years ago, the night he found Liana in his room. Though paling in comparison in skill to the others, Oswald had a good heart and an admiration and respect for Caius that resulted in the type of good loyalty Caius needed to watch his back. As for Lucia Starfall, she was Charles’s creature. A premature fifth generation Youth, placed under his branch by none other than Charles himself. A constant eye for him to watch over me.

The young sixteen year-old was the first to approach him with a letter in hand. Her hair was light blonde up to her shoulders, her eyes a lifeless grey-green surrounded by dark eyeliner, and her skin a warm yet pale complexion. She was dressed in a black corset-dress with a loose skirt just passed her knees, a tight black female frock coat, and thigh high boots.

            Caius grabbed the letter; it was from Charles of course. He opened it and read it to himself. “It seems the Moon has new information on our enemies,” he announced. He informed them of the similarities between Judicium’s Shadow and Caelum Infinitum.

            “So basically, not all we’ve heard of angels is in reference to the Archangels,” said Allen. “And the only way we’ll track down the Son of God or the other Archangels is by capturing an Archangel.”

            “Not necessarily,” said Caius. “If an Angel serving an Archangel other than Alistair Loucelles is captured, it could possibly lead the location and identity of another Archangel. But as of now, are mission remains to infiltrate and investigate the Azure Kingdom.”

            Felicia grinned and took the stage. “Why stop at Raphael when we can have two Archangels,” she announced, proudly.

            “I take it you have discovered something useful.”

            Caius had tasked Felicia with infiltrating the Azure Palace as a prostitute. Needless to say she was less than happy with her role, but given her rank below him, she could not refuse her Mentor’s orders. As a Shadow, seduction was a weapon expected of every female member, so the act of finding her way into a man’s bed to gather information was neither new to her nor against her moral code. What truly burned her was the fact that the man that once stood her equal now had the power to make her do whatever he pleased with a mere word.

            “Yesterday I had a client who would swallow his own c**k if he could. You know him as Dumas Erequix,” she said with a proud smirk. Dumas Erequix was a famous painter in Eden who was within the Azure Prince’s circle of trust. “If I were to give him a rank within Caelum Infinitum, he’d definitely have to be an Angel. But I predict he may just be more involved than your average Angel. According to him he meets with Archangels, which would imply he knows another besides Raphael. But that’s not all. According to him, he’s going to be meeting one tomorrow by Mary’s Fountain.”

            Caius shook his head to the disappointing news. “It’s a trap.”

            “I don’t think so. This guy…”

            “It’s a trap,” reassured Allen. “While I was drinking at the pub in the second floor earlier today, I was approached by Gravure Ilianos, the Azure Prince’s second in command. We talked about a lot of things, mostly drug trade, during which he managed to drop enough obvious hints to imply he’d be meeting an angel six days from now in Uriel’s Cathedral. I too thought it was a huge lead, but it was too good to be true. Not to mention handed on a silver platter.”

            “I was approached by the Azure Prince’s daughter, Ismailia Loucelles,” added Caius. “She wasn’t half as convincing as the people who approached the two of you, but she did inform me of a meeting between her and an Archangel three days from now in Gabriel’s Temple.”

            Felicia was red with shame, sitting back down embarrassed. “So it’s a trap,” she said, disappointed. She looked up at Caius with a look of concern. “If they approached all of us than that must mean our cover is blown. We should capture the Azure Prince now before we all end up getting killed.”

            Caius shook his head. “The Azure Prince is a cautious man. This blatant trap is just a test. It’s why we all have different times and locations, so he can determine who talked. I’m sure he tests every person who enters his palace some way or another. I’m also sure there’s probably going to be false meetings every day for the next couple days. Which is why we’ll ignore all the leads we hear and continue with the original plan. Gain their trust, and become one of them. If one of us can become an Angel, we’ll be standing right beside one of their leaders.”

            “I don’t think w****s make it into Caelum Infinitum,” said Felicia, extremely displeased once more with her role in this mission.

            “Perhaps not, but w****s can make even Angels fall in love. Continue to seduce Dumas Erequix and make him fall so hard that even his love for God will pale in comparison.”

            She burst into a sarcastic laugh. “Clearly you’ve never met the man. Like I said earlier, he’ll sooner swallow his own c**k. He has eyes only for himself and stroking his ego will only make me the same as all the other w****s in the Azure Palace.”

            “Regardless, that shall continue to be your path.”

            “This meeting is a waste of time.” She stood up and stormed down the hall to her room.

            “So what’s the plan, Mentor?” asked Allen. “Are you going to smuggle in whoever it is the Azure Prince wants inside?”

            “We don’t have much of a choice,” answered Caius. “If I ever plan on getting Raphael’s trust, I have to start somewhere. I can’t risk capturing them in case it’s a trap. Alistair is the only real lead we have.”

            “Let us hope we’re not making a huge mistake then.”

            “At least now we know that Gravur, Dumas, and Ismailia are all Angels,” announced Oswald, happily oblivious.

            Allen covered his face, embarrassed for the lanky idiot. “Even before we knew the term ‘Angels,’ it didn’t take a f*****g genius to assume that those three were directly linked to the Archangels.”

            “Let him be,” ordered Caius. “We’ve managed to evade one of the Archangel’s plots. That alone is a victory for us. Allen, I want you to contact Judicium’s Sun and inform him of the exchange that will happen soon.”

            “I’ll get to it immediately.”

            After Allen left, Caius turned his attention to Lucia who hadn’t said a word. As she gazed blankly into his eyes awaiting order, he saw the clear difference between her and his former self. This girl didn’t have a mind of her own. Her will was only that of Judicium’s, the only existing moral code inside her head. She didn’t comprehend God nor did she seek to. She wasn’t broken like he and Raziel had been, she had been erased and reconstructed. Irreparable. There wasn’t an ounce of humanity left inside her. Is this what you wanted me to be like, Father?

            “Do you have anything to report from the lower parts of the city, Lucia?” he asked.

            “Nothing out of the ordinary, Mentor.”

            You raised her well Charles. “Very well. You may leave.”

© 2013 Cynical_Art

Author's Note

What are your thoughts on Caius as a Mentor? What are your thoughts on Caelum Infinitum (The True Believers)? Any predictions towards the coming events?

My Review

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This was a great chapter! So far, Caius is doing a good job as being a mentor, and he was thinking the same thing as I was about how weird it was for a bunch of True Believers to be staying in a place like the Azure Palace. But I still can't shake the feeling that he is going to die. And he has changed a lot during that time skip in between chapters. I sort of think it will help him a little now. And I need to know what happened to Venir!!! I can't wait for the next chapter! :)

Posted 8 Years Ago


8 Years Ago

Lol XD well the next two chapters will be up soon. I already revised ch26 so as soon as I go through.. read more
Dark Rider

8 Years Ago

Right now, I'm mostly disliking the Azure Prince and his daughter. And I have mixed feelings about D.. read more
Only happened to read this one chapter but a few notes -
Your writing is technically correct, so just keep in mind the message you want to send with the piece, as just from reading this it was a little difficult to tell what that was exactly. I'd also take care not to get too bogged down in the terminology of your setting. A little of that goes a long way, but too much can slow down the read. Other than that, well done.

Posted 8 Years Ago


8 Years Ago

Thank you. In terms of the message, I do keep it in mind, for this chapter in particular, it's hard .. read more

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2 Reviews
Added on March 12, 2013
Last Updated on March 12, 2013
Tags: fantasy, Religion, science-fiction, family, death, betrayal, sex, war, conspiracies, characters, love, psychological, development, God, hierarchy, order, cynical, victorian

God's Requiem



New York, NY

I am 21 years old, I got my Bachelors in Science Degree when I was 19. My career profession is computer animation (I am an Environment Modeler, for those that follow the profession) but I love to writ.. more..