frosted coral kisses on the window

inspired by Shimmerbliss/CAF

A worry line

firmly planted

between her brow,

(character, her mother

said it gave her)

 

The girl pressed her

frosted coral lips

against the car window,

to make a mark

in the shape of a kiss.

 

Might as well

make an impression

on its hard edge --

no one even knows

She exists ...

 

And the boy with a banjo

sits 'neath the willow,

strumming a song,

imagining the sound

of her voice --

 

The girl with the

beautiful round face,

and lips that match her toes --

the one who doesn't know

He exists.

Author's Note

For some reason, the description comes up empty, so I put this here instead.
Inspired by Shimmerbliss/CAF
create a poem using coral, edge, toes, hard, worry, banjo, willow, car, round, sound

Reviews

[Kenneth The Poet]

It's like I'm there watching the moments unfold.

[Lyn Anderson]

thank you for your kind words, I wanted it to read like a story.

[redzone]

"I wanna know who you are when I'm not looking"... how often is it that the real you is hidden or as in your poem not seen in the existence of the other... sometimes like two ships passing in the night or in other cases, not knowing cause of not thinking you or they do not exist... the what ifs strum from the banjo and the song you embedded are well woven in how you used these words KL... the only "description" I might question would be how you used "hard edge" impression in that a window, unless broken in pieces is smooth and has no hard edge... but perhaps I misread and you were referring to those "coral lips"/kiss, since while beautifully colored, coral does have a hard edge...

I enjoyed reading your poem and the way it used these words... I think it is often difficult to do this type of poetry/challenge... ever do a "5 and dime" challenge (5 words in a 10 line poem)?? Also lots of fun to write...

redzone

[Lyn Anderson]

To me, a window is hard, as in, when you knock on its edge, it's hard, which is different than saying jagged or rough. Hey, I had to get creative with the words that were given me.:)

[redzone]

And you did get creative. Very cool.. okay i guess i was more looking at hard edge a jagged.. so get it now... thanks.

[Lyn Anderson]

No problem, and thank you for reading. I like to stretch to these challenges to make something that doesn't sound too cheesy. The only thing I don't like is having to bold the words, which I think takes away from the piece, like bold type in an acrostic -- I understand why, but once the challenge is over I will remove the bold face type.

[redzone]

I would italisize the word in the 5/10 challange... but i do see your point.. makes the poem to specific to a challenge rather than just a creative piece of writing... i will have to post one of thr ones i did.. you can tell me if it works or not...

[Lyn Anderson]

yes for sure. I know it is done for ease of seeing on the part of the person looking at the poem, but it takes away from the poem, I think.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

ah so there is always someone who knows we exist...even if we are not sure we do, ourselves.

i bet there is evidence on that car window...and in the sound of the song he is playing on that banjo...

j.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks. I enjoy these word challenges, although I am having a little more challenge with one of the latest, it keeps coming of snarky.:)

[David Scott]

It seems there is an invisibility in life. Yet color draws attention and a song seems to find an ear eventually.
I enjoyed seeing both characters here.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you. I find these word challenges wonderful to try and build a story around them -- yet I tried one of the latest and it just came up snarky, so I will have to ponder it a few days.

[Matching Socks]

I loved this. We should open our eyes more eh?
I love this song and Blake Shelton.

[Lyn Anderson]

Who'd a thunk it? Still got some sap in me somewhere huh?

[Matching Socks]

Yeah, sap is a sweet thing ain't it?

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

Wow! You are amazing! It absolutely thrills my heart to think you were inspired to write this by my little "Nowhere"! Love, love, love this video and it really takes me somewhere...I love the idea in it.

You have aced using the words for the contest...completely unforced and beautiful. A soft, and dreamy message like the song. Hope they find each other!
Really, you have so much talent. Can't even say enough "Sis" :)

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you thank you -- I am truly inspired by your work.

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

Thank you so much. That means so much to me :)

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

You won 1st place! Great job! :)

[Lyn Anderson]

Thanks, couldn't have done it without you.

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

To have played a part is an honor. You are such an amazing talent. I learn from you...truly.

[Lyn Anderson]

Thank you very much. I appreciate it.