Shameless Chapter Twelve

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile, I've been really busy.

"Thanks." My voice is hushed and I barely look at him. I'm so glad Mr.Finnly let Jonah take me to my mother's house, but also I'm embarrassed. I don't want Jonah to see me cry. "Are you sure this is the place?" Jonah asks, looking up at the house we are stopped at.

I follow his gaze. Crisp white framing along the roof and wall edges. Clean, smooth, baby blue planks nailed firmly into place, a blossoming willow tree droops sadly in the front yard, dropping pink petals onto the freshly mowed grass. A cracked sidewalk leads up to three cement steps that climb to the house's front door.

I close my eyes and fight back tears. This was my home. She brought them back here, I think darkly.

"Nothing bad will ever happen to you, Clara, I'll never let them take you. I promise."

I blink away tears and let the Flash collapse in my mind, and look away from my haunting memories.

"This is the place," my voice cracks and I give Jonah a weary, watery smile. "Thanks again," I step out of the car, my bag following in a heap beside me.

"See you at school, Clare. Take it easy," Jonah smiles and soon his truck is driving away, and I'm alone again.

Wiping away tears, I walk slowly to the house, my fingers shake as my hand wraps around the doorknob.

"Welcome home, Clara," I say to myself, and step inside.


                 *           *            *

I drop my bag on the floor and suck in a breath. She changed everything, I think.

The house is not what I remembered it as. The living room is a soft comforting yellow, with dark maple wood framing around the borders. Homey and vintage photographs hang on the walls, and a small wooden table with a white knitted tablecloth sits by a corduroy blue sofa, with a matching knit blanket folded softly on top of it.

A small television sits in the middle, on either side are two wide windows, framed by soft lace curtains.

Turning away, I head for the kitchen and gasp.

"Who are you?!" I ask, flinching. At the kitchen table sits a small boy, about ten or eleven, eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. At the sight of me, he drops it, and his eyes go wide.

             *              *             *

"M-mom! S-she's home!" the boy shouts.

Pounding feet come from upstairs and once again I'm left staring in awe at this beautiful monster.

"Clara! I didn't know you were home yet!" She says. Her blond hair is braided down her back, she wears a pale pink robe and blue pajama pants. She steps over to the boy and tussles his hair, he smiles, bread crumbs falling from his mouth.

She sees my gaze and looks down at the boy, "Oh, Clara, I have yet to introduce you to Cyrus. He's your...half-brother." Cyrus gives a small wave.

"WHAT?!" I shout. I don't know whether to be angry or upset. Not only did she leave me, she replaced me.

My mother looks at me through dewy eyes, "I was going to tell you, I just didn't think earlier had been the time."

Cyrus looks up at me and smiles, totally clueless to the fact that our mother is a monster.

My mother gently rubs Cyrus's cheek and smiles, "I'm going to go show Clarabelle around the house, okay?"

"I lived here once before, you know. I can figure it out myself," I push past her and climb up the stairs.

The hallway seems to small and I find myself having a panic attack. Flash after flash fill my head and I begin to hyperventilate. My hands push at the walls, looking for an escape.

"Clara?! Are you okay?!" My mother's voice shouts from below.

"Leave me alone!" I scream from the stairs, fighting through the visions. Slapping. "I told you to-" Punch. Woods. Running. Cyrus. Richard. "STAY AWAY FROM ME!" I shout and stumble up the stairs.

Clumsily, I throw open a door, and collapse onto soft plush carpet.

I take in deep breaths of air and stair at the wall. My chest moving up and down, i place a hand on my forehead.

I gulp, and shakily sit up on my elbows. Blinding white walls, with delicate pink ribbony swirls painted gently surround me. The room is eeirly white, the dressers, the vanity, the closet, the carpet.

The bed is king sized, with matching pink ribbon lacing around the comforter, and the canopy curtain. A balcony door is to the left of me, opening my eyes to the neighborhood below.

I walk over to the closet and once again, tears consume me, and I fall to the ground, my fingers shaking.

Toys, obviously of a young girl, pile high in the closet. Trains, dolls, teddy bears, and blankets.

But the most haunting, is the wall of the closet, my eyes unmistakingly noting the pink cursive lettering on the wall. Clarabelle.

Vials. Blood. Teeth. Lamps. Lab coats. Tables. Needles. Brown hair. Cages. Cybrochambers. Machinary. Testing rooms. My mother...laughing. Dark smiles. Crying children.

I sob into my hands.

"You're an experiment, Clara. You aren't a human. You aren't a robot. You aren't an animal. You are nothing. I hope you remember that." Her voice echoes in my head.

I sob into my hands.

I did.

I did remember that.

And I'll never forget it, either.

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© 2012 Emma Marie Taylor

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Reviews

Horizon K.

Wow... Totally stunning chapter. Clares emotional turmoil is so painful. A few questions... Does her mom live in the same town she has been... Will she still attend the same school and why then she didn't come see this house ever? Also her brother is named Cyrus and so is someone in her flashback? Overall riveting!