Chapter 4, An Entry From The Diary

Even boys keep journals

23 November 2004

I am repulsed by my own behaviour, the things I do, say, and the people who I make friends with. Actually I don't really have any friends; I just walk next to most of the children. I never talk to them. Last night I masturbated again, in my room with the girl big on my screen. I am not proud of it, I feel so dirty and guilty, even a day after I did it. I hate masturbating, but I cannot stop, I don't know why.

Just before I shut down the computer, I went on the internet just once more, to kind of get something to do for the guilt feelings that eat me up. I don't know how, but I ended up on a site named: "Killing for a living". I read some of the articles, some of the stories, of the people involved in the operation. It scared me, but later on it progressed into something that I wanted to do. I scared myself so much that I put the computer off immediately, and went to bed.

"God, I am sorry, I am so sorry for being this person. Please help me."

Author's Note

...

Reviews

[Raya Avans]

hmm.. interesting? made an interesting character here.. still reading, looking forward to where this will go