Ch. 64 Seconds

There's a pause.

Neither of us speak for

one

two

three

four

five

six

seven

seconds.

Jesse Hilton is the last person

I expected to be talking to about this,

but for some reason, I can't seem to contain myself.

"Do you think there's something wrong with me?"

I ask him.

"What could possibly wrong?"

"Will seems fine.

You seem fine.

Everyone seems fine but me."

"Is this about her?"

he asks.

But he doesn't really have to ask

and I don't really have to answer.

I pick up some of the gravel,

but I don't throw it like he does.

I roll it between my fingers

and look at it

so I don't have to look at him.

I can't believe I'm talking to Jesse

after everything he's done.

There's another pause while he's thinking.

I wonder if he's about the same thing I am.

one

two

three

four

"I don't think anything is wrong with you,"

he says slowly.

"And why is that, Dr. Hilton?"

"You're just sad," he says.

"Nothing wrong with that."

I scoff at him and throw 

the little pebble in my hand in his direction.

"I'm sad," I say, rolling my eyes.

"Thanks for that brilliant deduction, Sherlock.

I already know I'm sad."

"No, I don't think you do."

one

two

three

four

five

"Forgive me if I don't get it," I say to him.

He smirks. I think he's proud of himself

for getting me to talk to him this long.

"You don't know you're sad

because you feel too guilty

and that's all you focus on."

"I was there y'know," he continues.

He stops throwing gravel and rests back on his hands instead,

looking down at his scuffed up Converse.

His voice is quieter.

"At the funeral, I mean.

You didn't cry,

not even a little.

I saw you."

I couldn't say anything

because I was too surprised.

I didn't know until now that he had been there.

I didn't bother looking for him

because I hadn't expected him to go.

Jesse Hilton isn't the kind of person you wait around for.

Everything he does is for himself.

I never would have thought he'd actually go to the funeral.

I didn't think he cared enough.

The corners of his mouth twitch.

I can tell he knows he shocked me,

impressed me even.

"I'm not that heartless," he mutters, elbowing me gently.

Then he clears his throat again

and fixes his glasses.

"Maybe if you weren't feeling guilty so much,

then you'd have time to feel sad.

And then things wouldn't feel so wrong."

Reviews

[Fenix Flight]

Wow him being the one to really talk to her is a shocker but I kind of had a feelings. :-D this is getting really good. as always you have impressed me and got me hooked!!!!!