Until Forever and A Day (Rhyme)

I'll be here

I always wanted to see you smile

A smile that lights a thousand mile

I always wish to see you grow

Far from the one I used to know.

 

I hope my friend to hear you laugh

I wish to see you on the top

I’m happy watching you embrace

The rare beauty of nature and race.

 

 When you’re happy I’m happy, too

Know what my love can do for you

I am a friend and I will stay

Until forever and a day…

Author's Note

Photo credits from: Google images
Music: Best Friends Forever



Rhyme. A rhyming poem has the repetition of the same or similar sounds of two or more words, often at the end of the line.

Reviews

[NeiL ArandA]

Dhaye I love the sincerity of this piece. Its close to agape love an unselfish love. Such heartfelt feeling and concern towards someone hopes for the greater good of that person. How I wish I had that qualities.
If your open for suggestion and improvement. Here is what I think could make your piece better.
" The rare beauty of nature and race." or " The rare beauty of nature in your face "
" Until forever and a day " or " Until forever and another day " ... which could imply that you're willing to go and walk a second mile for this especial friend or person... God bless .

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thank you so much, my friend.

"I’m happy watching you embrace
The rare beauty of nature and race."---I mean there I'm happy to see him embracing or holding the rare beauties around him...because I want him to be happy. I think it can't be his face... But still, I feel uncomfortable with that line "The rare beauty of nature and race" just to follow the rhyming.


However I will stick to my last line for I there's a song "Forever and A Day" which inspired me to write the piece though I didn't use it as the theme song because it's for lovers while my poem is for bestfriends only.

[NeiL ArandA]

No hard feelings. Its your piece... :)

[Tate Morgan]

Awe that was so very sweet Loved the rhyme and the story

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thanks, Tate. =)

[Tina Louise UK]

wonderful heartfelt piece, friends are so important :) x

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Yes, it's true. Thank you, Tia!

[Linda alexander]

I am a friend and I will stay
Until forever and a day…
Great write, emotion is expressed fully, the picture added is excellent, enjoyed

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

Thank you, Linda.

[Linda alexander]

You most welcome, my pleasure

[Rachelle]

I wish I can do emotional pieces. Sniff!

[Daisie Vergara (Dhaye)]

You're realistic, I'm emotional. LOL. You can try it...

Thanks, sweetie. =)