fate ~ I dream

Experimental. I like being on the dreamy side every once in a while :P

fate, I dream ~ of lover's mist

where desires float on feathery clouds

and the air around me feels solid; almost touchable.

I seek an oblivion so profound, where my being drowns

and the liquid tears no longer leave trails

of lover's mist ~ fate, I dream ...

Reviews

[An owl on the moon]

The misted mind of you creates a place just beyond this world, a place of profound beauty and deep joy only lover's can create as they melt into oneness. One seems to float across those sacred paths as you speak, truly hoping your feet are fated for their lightness.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you so much for your lovely words, Craig. I appreciate it 😊

[Coyote Poetry]

A lover's mist. Safe and wonderful place to know. I liked the use of the language. Allowed the reader to feel the words. Perfect closing to the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you so much (:

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome my friend.

[Relic]

Quite the ethereal piece YummaKay. Fantasies often put us in other worldly places. Lovers have the power to do that.

Nicely done.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Aye, they do indeed. Thank you so much for your lovely words, Tim. Glad you appreciate (:

[emmajoy]

Silky, dreamy words - as fluid as those tears for the most part.. .. yet stopping here and there as if thoughts trapped by uncertainty. Mayhaps?

[Dr. YumnaKay]

An interesting conclusion and again very accurate. I'm nearly always uncertain and then thoughts come out in a jumble... thank you so much for your words here, Emma :)

[Jon Roggie]

Lovely.
Wistful feeling .

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Thank you for appreciating, Jon :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

very beautifully expressed....
nice alliteration...
j.

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Ah, that alliteration was unintentional. Thank you for appreciating, Jacob :)

[Jibey]

I like the structure , especially the neat reversal of the first and last lines. The misty lover's dream conveys the central thought well. The rhythm of lines 3-5 felt clumsy, especially line 3.

Can tears be other than liquid?

[Dr. YumnaKay]

Hm, I think line 3 is the most felt one here but I agree on the whole of this being rather a clumsy write...
and lol I added that because I wanted to kinda create an impact... maybe it didn't convey the right way. I appreciate your constructive critisicm, Jibey. thank you :))