Insecurities

Scribbles in the rain.

I am afraid 

of us becoming strangers.

Of cold summers, 

of glaciers of indifference

leaking through the edges;

of the colour of your eyes

turning grey. 

And I am afraid,

of us becoming strangers...

walking the same walk, 

hand in hand ---

but hearts ~ apart.

Reviews

[An owl on the moon]

Strangers... oh it is the saddest word to describe two people who once were one... Here love feels almost like a ghost. there in the dark distance... My heart aches reading the painful longing. Sending only peace to you now across the sea, dear poet.

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This poem feels like a song. You've really tapped into some deeply seeded primal fears. The words are smooth but jarring at the same time. The reader is swept away in the emotions.

[Chris Shaw]

Heartfelt and I am pretty certain that most couples can feel this at times in their marriage. That's a sign to me that more work needs to be done. Thirty seven years of experience talking. Relationships are hard work.
So pleased to see you posting again Yumna.

Chris

[Paul Bell]

Wonder how many couples feel this way.
The trip of indifference day after day, love that once was now lost in the ethos of time.

[Neville]

... you have penned an absolute little belter here my friend .. absolute poetry ... poignant and perfectly pitched from the beginning to the very saddest of ends .... and it is so good to see you again :)

[Chris]

Life in our now... a lot of "hurt" in this writing... You take care, have missed you.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

"hand in hand, but hearts apart"
the simplicity of that line, and yet the conflict and complexity...of how a relationship has become..
potent.

[emmajoy]

Oh my goodness, how intensely understandable your poem is, Yumna. That said, nobody else can FEEL your reason for writing it. Nonetheless you've conveyed a need to air your heart as well as your thoughts, gently but concisely. No undue flowers or tears but sad.. ' .. am afraid, of us becoming stranger '

Hope your world is being kind to you and you're able to take time out to relax and write. Third niece: take care, keep safe, please. .

[Ted Kniffen]

Well done Doc ... there are many things to be afraid of, but your final verse says it all. Nothing would be worse than walking side by side but miles apart emotionally.

A good write

[barleygirl]

Great to see a new posting from you! I've been sketchy here & not keeping up with everyone. I love this poem. I love how the writing conveys a sense of "fading" -- the fading away that happens all the time for me. One reason I'm so in awe of my dogs is that they can sustain their excitement upon seeing me, day in & day out, year in & year out. I can't even sustain my excitement about a new day, forget about people! I am excited, but I just fade in noticing or expressing it, which I think is true of most people. Despite this poem clearly being about two people, I can also see it as a statement about the way things have become so divided in the USA -- I fear we have become like strangers, not able to tolerate one another's points of views, which is highly amplified right now with Trump running for re-election & 40% of the country still thinking he's making America great. It's like we're 2 different countries in the middle of a civil war with plenty of mind-control coming from the top. Sorry to go political on your heartfelt poem! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie